U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-25-2013, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
35,970 posts, read 23,602,527 times
Reputation: 14216

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
I think it is low-down how people blamed you for your SO's death.

Blame does absolutely nothing but make everything worse. When a love one dies, as horrible as we feel we must remember that we are not alone in our grief and the people that blamed you didn't realize that.
Thank you!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-25-2013, 02:44 PM
 
19,888 posts, read 6,171,486 times
Reputation: 11230
Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
I don't think they are selfish. I think they were people who were in extreme pain.
I agree with you Oregonwoodsmoke.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-25-2013, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
35,970 posts, read 23,602,527 times
Reputation: 14216
Quote:
Originally Posted by trobesmom View Post
I agree with you Oregonwoodsmoke.
I do too!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-01-2013, 10:22 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
547 posts, read 1,119,389 times
Reputation: 658
Those who commit suicide are making their own choice. I would imagine sometimes with little or no thought behind it, other times multitudes of contemplation. Either way I don't think they are selfish. It is their business how they want to go out.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-01-2013, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY 🇺🇸
36,764 posts, read 12,771,721 times
Reputation: 35443
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
I lost a loved one to suicide almost five years ago. I've been told that he was very selfish and he didn't deserve to be remembered.

I am not very sure that I agree with this. Many times, the person is severely depressed and isn't in a proper mindset.

"of those who die from suicide, more than 90 percent have a diagnosable mental disorder.

People who die by suicide are frequently experiencing undiagnosed, undertreated, or untreated depression."

Facts About Mental Illness and Suicide - Mental Health Reporting - UW School of Social Work

So to say somebody who committed suicide are selfish is almost like saying being sick is selfish.

The bottom line is that nobody knows who is considering suicide sometimes. Everyone has left low, down or depressed at one point in their life, so how can anybody judge them for wanting to end their lives?

One of my grief counselor has used the term "terminal mental illness" to describe suicidal desperation. So when suicide is discussed, maybe people should be careful with the word "selfishness" because blaming and judging the suicide victim, only adds more pain and suffering to the people they left behind.

Do you believe people who committed suicide are selfish?


To answer your question, no, I don't. I believe that those who commit suicide simply aren't able to think about anything or anyone other than the pain that they're in.

Everyone deserves to be remembered:



The Elephant in the Room By Terry Kettering

There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;
we talk about work;
we talk about everything else—
except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say “Barbara” again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,
perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say, “Barbara” to you
and not have you look away?
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone
in a room—with an elephant.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-21-2015, 06:58 PM
 
2 posts, read 871 times
Reputation: 15
i think people who commit suicide aren't necessarily selfish, but they're just different.. really different from the people around them, they almost feel like they're stuck in an environment they never wanted. you have to take into consideration that people who commit suicide have wanted to live at some point. but because of how they're dissatisfied with what's in front and around them, they take the most easy and shortest way out.. "suicide." if someone committed suicide in my life that i loved dearly, i would feel pain, grief, and anger all at once... but at the same time, i'd know why they committed suicide, not because they're selfish, but because the world we live in is already a living nightmare.. everyday, you have to wake up and live a life.. a path you don't want to! people who committed suicide are not selfish you morons! what they did was a lash out, only crying for help! the suicidal have always wanted to live, but their definition of life means not having to live with a bunch of dumb humans, "a human race." their definition of life is up to them, it could be living on an island and caring for animals, or living in peace and not worrying about a thing called society! there are so many benefits to their imagination and the way they think, but may-be their wish of comfort can not be obtained, so they lost patience and hope, because what they're showing is despair with the world, despair with the way things are, and how others act about it. so because of our despair, we tend to take it upon ourselves and end the life.. that's how serious they grieve over this... so if you meet someone suicidal, don't try to change them, try to be a part of their world. thank you.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2015, 02:20 AM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
11,493 posts, read 10,333,083 times
Reputation: 6086
They are actually brave. And I don't mean that to courage them or anything. The idea of death should frighten people. I'm prone to severe depression and I've gotten worse this year, but I have never contemplated suicide. Dying makes me even more upset.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2015, 07:42 PM
 
603 posts, read 549,939 times
Reputation: 669
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
I lost a loved one to suicide almost five years ago. I've been told that he was very selfish and he didn't deserve to be remembered.

I am not very sure that I agree with this. Many times, the person is severely depressed and isn't in a proper mindset.

"of those who die from suicide, more than 90 percent have a diagnosable mental disorder.

People who die by suicide are frequently experiencing undiagnosed, undertreated, or untreated depression."

Facts About Mental Illness and Suicide - Mental Health Reporting - UW School of Social Work

So to say somebody who committed suicide are selfish is almost like saying being sick is selfish.

The bottom line is that nobody knows who is considering suicide sometimes. Everyone has left low, down or depressed at one point in their life, so how can anybody judge them for wanting to end their lives?

One of my grief counselor has used the term "terminal mental illness" to describe suicidal desperation. So when suicide is discussed, maybe people should be careful with the word "selfishness" because blaming and judging the suicide victim, only adds more pain and suffering to the people they left behind.

Do you believe people who committed suicide are selfish?
It is selfish. So is preventing someone from dying who wants to die. The latter is more than selfish, its controlling.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2015, 03:01 AM
 
Location: Clovis Strong, NM
3,376 posts, read 5,478,504 times
Reputation: 2006
With all the stressful things going on in the country, let alone the world, I wouldn't really see it as selfish.
I see it as some people just wanting to escape to a better place since it seems as though there's really nowhere left on this planet to get away from all the drama.
Police shootings, mass joblessness, pollution off the rails, birthrates going unchecked in some places, religious fanatics fighting to take control of peoples lives.

If people don't want to stick around and put up a fight/stand up for a cause, then leave them be.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2015, 01:14 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 3,390,181 times
Reputation: 3037
No. I think they're in so much pain that how it'll effect anyone else isn't even on their radar.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top