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Old 11-22-2013, 09:02 AM
 
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I'm going to say each case varies.

If you are a complete loner, or do not have a loving relationship with your family, basically no one who will be impacted by your death, and are in a continuous cloud of depression and anguish, then no, it's not selfish.

The cases that irritate me the most are people who have very young children and the long term impact it will leave on them.

I knew of two cases this year where both men committed suicide and left wife and children behind. Now I don't know the full extent of their relationships with everyone in their lives, but in those cases it's selfish to leave them behind.

I haven't read all the posts here but I wonder what if some person with suicidal thoughts has come across all these posts saying it's not selfish and is influenced by what is written?

Last edited by Stockyman; 11-22-2013 at 10:05 AM..
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Old 11-22-2013, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post

I haven't read all the posts here but I wonder what if some person has come across all these posts saying it's not selfish and is influenced by what is written?
No, not me because I was already familiar with some of it.

I know of a case where a man left behind small children. I spoke to his wife after the suicide and even helped her with the little I could back then. I never felt upset, I just felt a lot of sadness for her, her children and her dead husband. I personally did not know the guy who committed suicide, we just worked in the same place.

Maybe I was a littled biased because he left a suicidal note to a coworker I truely despised back then. I hated the recipient of the suicidal note because they were extremely insensitive and even got me personally in trouble before the suicide. This person(the recipient of the suicidal note) was well liked by many people and not many knew their dark side so maybe I felt like I understood more about the desperation of the guy who committed suicide. But after the suicide I felt bad for the recepient of the suicidal note too. I realized they just lacked a lot of social skills and no one deserved the pain they received afterwards. They were extremely affected for years. They were not the evil person I thought they were, they just lacked some social skills that I was lucky enough to already have learned or that I inherited from my empathetic parents.

Or maybe in hypothetical scenarios we think we would react more negatively but we tend to be more empathetic in real life when we have more details. Real people are not usually the caricatures like the characters we see in movies either very good people or very evil. I think most of us are good and bad people at the same time and we need to keep our bad side in check to avoid tragedies.
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Old 11-22-2013, 10:56 AM
 
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
2,306 posts, read 2,463,116 times
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No,
I don't think people who committed suicide are selfish.
And yes, I know this very well.

I think it is very selfish for those Family and friends (FF) who judge the person to be selfish for committing suicide. Where are these FF when the subjects are depressed and contemplating to end their lives? Alot of them are not even aware that the subject has so much struggle. Yes, it sucks for the FF to experience the loss, but do they know how much bitterness that the subject has to experience to come up that decision?

And do you know what sucks?
unavailability of affordable mental health care
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Utica, NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asiandudeyo View Post
No,
I don't think people who committed suicide are selfish.
And yes, I know this very well.

I think it is very selfish for those Family and friends (FF) who judge the person to be selfish for committing suicide. Where are these FF when the subjects are depressed and contemplating to end their lives? Alot of them are not even aware that the subject has so much struggle. Yes, it sucks for the FF to experience the loss, but do they know how much bitterness that the subject has to experience to come up that decision?

And do you know what sucks?
unavailability of affordable mental health care
^^
This person gets it.

I forgot to cover the last paragraph of yours in my posts. Therapy is very expensive, most insurance companies only have limited mental health coverage. If you have to "check in" to a hospital out of desperation, expect a $1,000+ bill for an overnight stay before they turf you out the next morning (I am speaking from experience here).
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:49 PM
 
2,544 posts, read 1,768,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asiandudeyo View Post

I think it is very selfish for those Family and friends (FF) who judge the person to be selfish for committing suicide. Where are these FF when the subjects are depressed and contemplating to end their lives? Alot of them are not even aware that the subject has so much struggle. Yes, it sucks for the FF to experience the loss, but do they know how much bitterness that the subject has to experience to come up that decision?
You just said it yourself, most loves ones are not aware about the person's condition. How can anyone offer help if they don't know? Are they supposed to ask every close person in their lives if he/she is considering suicide?

When you are a child, how are you supposed to have the knowledge or emotional support to help your suicidal parent?
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Old 11-22-2013, 08:15 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Those are the people who dive out of high hotel windows in Atlantic City.
Actually, I wonder, how many of those are drug induced craziness versus actual suicide?
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Old 11-22-2013, 08:18 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
I haven't read all the posts here but I wonder what if some person with suicidal thoughts has come across all these posts saying it's not selfish and is influenced by what is written?
I'd say you answered yourself with your first sentence:
Quote:
I'm going to say each case varies.
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Old 11-22-2013, 08:19 PM
 
Location: southern california
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u mean in america? it depends on which country u r in.
suicide is considered a form of mental illness in america. but honorable behavior elsewhere.
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Old 11-23-2013, 05:15 AM
 
38 posts, read 58,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
I'm going to say each case varies.

If you are a complete loner, or do not have a loving relationship with your family, basically no one who will be impacted by your death, and are in a continuous cloud of depression and anguish, then no, it's not selfish.

The cases that irritate me the most are people who have very young children and the long term impact it will leave on them.

I knew of two cases this year where both men committed suicide and left wife and children behind. Now I don't know the full extent of their relationships with everyone in their lives, but in those cases it's selfish to leave them behind.

I haven't read all the posts here but I wonder what if some person with suicidal thoughts has come across all these posts saying it's not selfish and is influenced by what is written?


Wow, Stockyman

I had not thought of that before posting. You have some insight. Just wanted to acknowledge you.
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Old 11-23-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: SoFlo
878 posts, read 702,444 times
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In a situation as tragic and complex as suicide I don't think it is possible to put a somewhat simplistic label as selfish or not on a person who commits the act. It is a tragedy for everyone involved - from the person living with the day to day mental anguish from which there feel there is no end to the people around them that try to help. I do think so that ones perspective though might differ based on personal experience and the people who have been directly impacted by suicide might have moments or anger or judgement towards that person (driven by guilt) and in those moments call that person selfish. Several months ago I was the first responder to a suicide by gunshot while walking on the beach, trying to save that person while waiting for the paramedics. Since that day I have been plagued by a lot of emotions (including at times anger) but primarily extreme guilt and sadness that I could have done something differently to save him. Knowing how I feel as someone who didn't know this person, the pain his family must feel is beyond words. I can understand how someone left behind might be very angry or call that person selfish as a coping mechanism for their grief. Just like the person who commits suicide shouldn't be judged because they are in such pain, neither should the people who are impacted by their death. It is just an extremely tragic situation for everyone involved.
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