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Hello. I am seeking advice about my 6-year-old son. He is behaving pretty bad in school. I think that I understand why. He has an attitude in which if he is not #1 then he doesn't even want to try, so he treats other children bad.
Maybe somebody had an experience with this kind of situation?
Could this be a part of a PC society where every one wins? If all participants are getting accolades, not one gets ignored and everyone walks away with some kind of prize. His response may be a balance against being PC. Everyone doesn't have to be first, to win, to get accolades all the time to be of value. Great questions to come out of this one. Wmsn has a few, please extrapolate.
That is a tough one because you do want to encourage kids to do their best - to be the best. And tough because kids that age are so self-centered. It is very difficult to get them to consider the feelings of other people.
I would maybe set up some sort of game to play where each person needs to be a loser before they can be a winner. And after being a winner, you need to lose again before you can win again. Maybe when first starting everyone gets one "loser credit" so there can be an initial winner. Create the game yourself.
And try teaching the kid that not everyone can win every time with competitions in real life. That most people need to take their turn "losing" so one person can win. And that when he wins 1st place at something, there are a lot of other kids who are losing and many of them may feel bad about that.
FYI - I have been in adult competitions where I have won 1st place many times. It is not much fun - everybody else is ticked off that they did not win. And if you get to where you win all the time, no one else wants to play with you any more. Best to let others win every now and then. You know you are good and can win a lot. That is all that matters.
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