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I've noticed that many tend to be judgmental, exploitative, or insensitive when listening to other people's problems/inner struggles. Instead of really trying to understand where the other person is coming from, some see it as an opportunity to judge, exploit (opportunists), or criticize.
Why is that so? And has this phenomenon been worsening in recent times?
And what advice would you give to those looking to improve in this arena?
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Last edited by VGravitas; 12-01-2013 at 11:32 PM..
I've noticed that many tend to be judgmental, exploitative, or insensitive when listening to other people's problems/inner struggles. Instead of really trying to understand where the other person is coming from, some see it as an opportunity to judge, exploit (opportunists), or criticize.
Why is that so? And has this phenomenon been worsening in recent times?
And what advice would you give to those looking to improve in this arena?
.
Unfortunately most people are self-centered and feel “it’s all about meâ€, you need to fix your own problems yourself. Sadly there are too many people who just don’t listen and have empathy.
Just the other day I talked with an old friend for more than hour and all he did was complain about others in his family and what they were doing wrong and how bad they were as human beings. When he seemed to be finished and we had to go, I asked him why he “allowed†all of the negativity to affect him. If he “can†do something positive to help his family members then do it, if not then don’t complain. Give them a little love and understanding and walk on if you can’t help them.
Id say that its probably because most of us are so busy worrying about keeping our "stuff" together in these times that there is little room for others' concerns. Moreover if you are the type that is just trying to keep your head above the water, yet are maintaining a positive outlook then it bothers you to see other who are whining about their positions in life. Its probably not a lack of empathy, but its that their cups are overflowing with enough stress and worry of their own.
I disagree with that. Not everyone is 'whining'. There are truly times when people reach such low times that they sincerely need help. Sometimes they are reaching out and just plain old need support.
I see many of these unempathic persons as just cold.
My personal take on it all is that often we make judgements against others without knowing all the facts. There may be certain personal facts they cannot share. It is not our job to judge, it it God's.
I see what you mean, however youre expecting people to take the effort and energy to look at every situation they encounter during the day, and run scenarios/image about the background behind said person. Thats just ineffecient from a biological point of view. Humans evolved "quick assumptions" and stereotypes for the fight or flight reaction. We're hard wired to make quick decisions, whether or not theyre morally superior.
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