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A know a woman who suffers what I call "Little princess syndrome", meaning she acts like if she was a perpetually flirtitious 15 years old.
She was like that at 20, when I first met her, and she still behaves like that nowadays, recently turned 29.
Being coquette and flirtitious is not a bad thing per se we all got our childish moments...but she does it in a very dysfunctional , intrusive, even moronic way that gets her in trouble all the time.
She is sending mixed/contradictory signals all the time, flirting with guys when there are red flags all over the place. Telling stupid, unnecessary lies all the time....lies that sooner or later come back at her. She changes her mind every 5 minutes. You can save her life one day, the next day she might behave like if you were a stranger, some other day will talk to you like if nothing happened. Sometimes borderline amnesia.
She seems blind and deaf at basic concepts...like "action-reaction", like if she could play stupid games and nothing should happen.
And that of course destroys evey relationships she is involved in, guys sooner or later get tired of stupid games and crap.
Sometimes I wonder if she suffers some sort of mental disorder....her IQ seems in the low-medium spectrum, but there's people with low IQs who manage to have functional lives. I went to school with a guy who scored 90 something on his IQ test and the guy formed a lovely family and is super happy and successful nowadays.
She's traveled , has two young kids, worked in different places, divorced, etc, in other words she's got experience of what the world is, she's been around enough to see what's going on and realize how stupid and void this "Little princess "attitude is. I mean, you can play that game when you are 20....but for how long? She seems stuck in that attitude, like if the world was her playground, and men were just puppets she can manipulate without even make an effort, and she looks surprised when things turn out different.
It' a bit like a mixture of boredom, ignorance and meanness: she naturally gravitates towars problems by saying something wrong and doing something wrong, that's why I think there's a self savotaging pull behind all this.
What positive advice would you give to a person like that?
PS I was an old flame....it hurts me to see her in this way. I tried every single thing in the the world to make it work, but was impossible.
Let her be- this is what she feels today and we all go through phases,,, we get hurt, older, then we bomb out then we get strong again and feel better than in our 20's -- let her experience her life .
Why do you call it self sabotage? Maybe the woman is not meant to be in a long term relationship. I know women like that. On the surface it looks like they use men but in my opinion some women are not natural good partners. They don't have the humility patience and dedication most men expect from a partner.
I would say she probably has narcissistic tendencies and/or maybe she grew up around strong women and she doesn't feel men are indispensible. She already has children so she has no strong reasons to keep a man. There is no urgency. IMO Let her be.
The real question, is why do men flock to women like this in droves? Even when their dysfunction is screaming like a fire engine? Is it self sabotage for men to continue to have relationships with women like this? Do they have low self esteem? Why would any normal adult male want a relationship with a "Little Princess"? I bet this little princess has quite a hot body.
I had a work acquaintance, who had a smoking hot body, and tons of "men friends", all of whom lusted after her. She played them all, and acted surprised when her boyfriend went crazy because of her other "men friends", she used men like throw away dolls, and was so completely self absorbed, she had no clue about her effect on them. She was stupid too, I think our male boss was mesmerized by her bootie.
The real question, is why do men flock to women like this in droves? Even when their dysfunction is screaming like a fire engine? Is it self sabotage for men to continue to have relationships with women like this? Do they have low self esteem? Why would any normal adult male want a relationship with a "Little Princess"? I bet this little princess has quite a hot body.
I had a work acquaintance, who had a smoking hot body, and tons of "men friends", all of whom lusted after her. She played them all, and acted surprised when her boyfriend went crazy because of her other "men friends", she used men like throw away dolls, and was so completely self absorbed, she had no clue about her effect on them. She was stupid too, I think our male boss was mesmerized by her bootie.
You know what - this always amazes me as well, but I see it all the time.
I am and always have been a fairly attractive person - not to brag but I would say above average, though of course no beauty queen - just a pretty good looking person with a fun personality, or so I've always been told. I don't have a perfect body, but I also don't have a weirdly shaped body and never have. In other words, I'm sort of "the girl next door" type - healthy, nice looking, but not a show stopper. I say all that to say this - all my life I've watched in shock as boys, and then men, gravitate to the "beauties" who also happen to be complete witches (not saying all beauties are witches of course - I'm talking specifically only about the ones who are). Not just on a personal level, but also at work. Of course, things so often end badly. But case in point -several women I know (in their fifties now) have been good looking, kept up their figures, etc, and though they've been married and divorced several times, with plenty of live in guys in between, they still always manage to attract a man - usually with money - who two years later is running for the hills barely hanging onto his shredded checkbook and now paying child support for the next 18 years - and I just think to myself, "Wow - HOW DO THEY DO IT?" Are so many men really this stupid? What really surprises me is when men who are otherwise successful (in their professions) just seem to lose all common sense when it comes to this particular type of manipulative woman. Isn't it OBVIOUS that they are this manipulative while you are dating??????? I mean, it's obvious to everyone else.
Sheeze!
That being said, I will say that now, in my fifties, I seem to be much happier and much more fulfilled than these women - and the ironic thing is that now the tables are turning! They are beginning to look really bad (in the face especially) due to all their tanning and trying to remain super thin all their lives, while my untanned face is also unlined, and my twenty extra pounds now adds a nice bit of curviness to my face, and the rest of me, while they look angular and drawn and hardened. Not only that - I haven't been through four husbands and six live ins, and my contentment shows on my face as well, while their bitterness and self absorbed nature shows clearly on theirs.
In other words, looks don't last and living a self destructive life catches up with you. A lot of women don't seem to realize that the years of 20-40 are really only twenty years of one's life. After 40 most of us still have another 40 or more years of living and those years are only good and happy if we've laid a healthy groundwork -mentally, physically, AND EMOTIONALLY - during the first forty years of our lives.
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