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Bruno's message was good advice, whether he is the person you think he is or not.
You are totally over-reacting.
To be honest, you sound rather histrionic -- making assumptions that people are much more connected and intimate with you than your history together would ever indicate.
And this whole vindication thing . . . way over the top.
Take a deep breath and step back. The world is full of potential friends.
Bruno made a bad assumption about me that I want communication alive 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He totally ceased communication and my assumption that he is not with me on my side anymore makes me unreasonable? I don't care whether his grandmother died, mother wanted to jump from a bridge or got a raccoon in his garage. It does not take many weeks or a month to return a message, especially voicemail.
Bruno made a bad assumption about me that I want communication alive 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He totally ceased communication and my assumption that he is not with me on my side anymore makes me unreasonable? I don't care whether his grandmother died, mother wanted to jump from a bridge or got a raccoon in his garage. It does not take many weeks or a month to return a message, especially voicemail.
He is a flake. You dont need friends like that. He may even be worse than a flake. I once read in a verbal abuse book (about how to recognize even subtle psychological abuse that if youre confused by someone, it means they arent being honest.
Think about it, with most people, you know how they feel about you, what they want and where you stand, to some degree. Why, coz they arent hiding/misrepresenting themselves. U can waste lots of time and energy on people like this, trying to figure them out. Dont bother, as this type has little to offer. Its not you, its HIM so just move on.
He is a flake. You dont need friends like that. He may even be worse than a flake. I once read in a verbal abuse book (about how to recognize even subtle psychological abuse that if youre confused by someone, it means they arent being honest.
Think about it, with most people, you know how they feel about you, what they want and where you stand, to some degree. Why, coz they arent hiding/misrepresenting themselves. U can waste lots of time and energy on people like this, trying to figure them out. Dont bother, as this type has little to offer. Its not you, its HIM so just move on.
You know whats funny. I just met another Pole this time who lives in my apartment complex. I overheard him speaking Polish when I was getting to car and he was moving in. Next week, when i bumped into him, I asked him about name, language. I asked him in Polish and he pretented he did not understand. When I asked him what language he speaks because I heard, he said he speaks Japanese Those two are not even close, who is he trying to fool? Next time I saw him, I literally smirked when he was nodding with girlfriend but did not say back hello. As I was driving away and looking at his direction he seemed little bothered when he looked back.
Its like Polish strangers can get along well everywhere except in Silicon Valley lol. I never had that problem in Poland or Chicago.
p.s Do you have title of that book? I found that interesting.
Last edited by Scott_403s; 02-13-2014 at 11:48 PM..
He is a flake. You dont need friends like that. He may even be worse than a flake. I once read in a verbal abuse book (about how to recognize even subtle psychological abuse that if youre confused by someone, it means they arent being honest.
Think about it, with most people, you know how they feel about you, what they want and where you stand, to some degree. Why, coz they arent hiding/misrepresenting themselves. U can waste lots of time and energy on people like this, trying to figure them out. Dont bother, as this type has little to offer. Its not you, its HIM so just move on.
I guess you maybe talked about this book by Patricia Evans?
I am Polish. Whether Polish or Americans but the fact that even Polish avoid me makes it somewhat unsettling. To make my story simple, here it is: met two Polish people in California. I came here for a new job few months ago. I met one of them online through my college alumni network in Chicago on LinkedIn because of my related major (in IT) and job hunt. However he attended my school online, we never really physically went there. We exchanged some information, our professional and personal background. When I moved in, I was for a while too busy to meet him and he went out for trip but still continued contact via email, he even gave me phone number for emergencies. Then finally that day comes to meet him. He invited to his friends' place. I dressed up little nice, put jeans but collared shirt. He invited to play board game in which to be honest I sucked, I was loosing and did not always understand rules. I was going to bring beer or something but decided maybe next time. But once I got there and I got hungry I grab one slice of pizza the host had for everybody and felt stupid but nobody else brought in anything. We stayed up late till 2am. When it was time to go home, I sensed either absurd stupidity or cold rejection when I asked if they would be willing to go with me next week to X-mas party hosted by people that have Meetup group called "friends of Europe" who are mostly foreigners from European countries and the host said no because they are socialist
And my friend who invited me to his friend's place was walking ahead of other people I hung out with to exit and he was not saying anything. When I came home I texted him if he was allright. No response. I called him next day morning and he was willing to talk but did not ask him why he did not say much, just what are the plans for next week and he told me to call him in next week. So next week I emailed him, waited one day no answer. Called him, I got answer from voicemail, left message but did not get call back. I am trying to think what the hell happened?
Once I saw him in person he seemed to be younger than he appeared on picture but not much. Maybe few years. Could be age. Or perhaps he is gay/bisexual and he was disappointed to see me overweight. Or maybe he thought he "caught" me in being gay. Because I looked a his crotch but he did it while he put his legs high on table when he let himself comfortable in soft-chair and he sat straight across me.
Or maybe because I did not ask much him or his friends, I wasn't talking much but thats because I was focused on games like everybody else and nobody else were talking about themselves really. The girl who set next to me was little rude and whining but quite friendly and we chit chatted a little bit. I felt I chatted with her more than anybody in room including friend that invited me.
I don't understand why this guy doesn't click well. We did not even had a real chance yet to really get to know each other. What's confusing, before I meet him he acts all friendly like godsand from haven, shares his number for emergency but after I meet him he is a***e. He suddenly changed.
Czesc, jak leci?
You are asking for too much. You do not quite understand, what a real friend is. Real friend is like love, just without sexual relationship. It's deep spiritual and mental bond, understanding, between the two. If you find ONE per life time, it's good, TWO - you are blessed. So don't hold your breath on cranking friends left and right.
Pals, acquaintances - yes. Not friends. My mom, bless her soul, found real friend when she was 56. Only THEN she realized, that whom she called friends before where not friends indeed. I lost my true friend in 1990. Never had another one ever since.
He is a flake. You dont need friends like that. He may even be worse than a flake. I once read in a verbal abuse book (about how to recognize even subtle psychological abuse that if youre confused by someone, it means they arent being honest.
Think about it, with most people, you know how they feel about you, what they want and where you stand, to some degree. Why, coz they arent hiding/misrepresenting themselves. U can waste lots of time and energy on people like this, trying to figure them out. Dont bother, as this type has little to offer. Its not you, its HIM so just move on.
Scott, I don't know if you are familiar with the expression "trying too hard". Sometimes when someone is feeling a little insecure, which is natural when meeting people for the first time, people try to be extra funny or super friendly and it comes across very awkward. It's also awkward like that when someone leaves a message and the recipient doesn't reply to a message or an e-mail, and then you call again and leave another, more irritated, message, and then an angry message. Now the person you called is freaked out because it can make the caller seem creepy and needy, even if they were just trying to be friendly. That is what I call "trying too hard". I think you might be sending out this sort of feeling to this guy. I would just back off and try not to get so offended. Yes it's rude not to answer messages, but some people are rude. Better just to let it go than to be bitter about it. If you see him at work, just be polite and go on about your business. If he does want to be friends, some day he will come to you. Until then, just move on and find friends through casual meetings. Just be your friendly self, but don't come on too strong in the beginning, it freaks people out, especially Californians ( I use to be one).
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Those two are not even close, who is he trying to fool? 
Next time I saw him, I literally smirked when he was nodding with girlfriend but did not say back hello. As I was driving away and looking at his direction he seemed little bothered when he looked back. 
