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In my extended family, we have one guy who shows up at family events who does not say much to anyone, but is highly respected. People try so hard to get him to talk to them and when he does interact, they feel like they talked to a movie star. Getting Chris to talk to them, even briefly, just makes their day. Getting this aloof man, to acknowledge them and spend a few minutes speaking to them, also gives them credibility within the group. People notice who Chris talks to, and who he ignores, and the ones who get some conversation from Chris are elevated socially.
No one really gets much attention from Chris, he quickly withdraws from most conversations not wanting to lower himself to being trapped in a conversation with the likes of us.
There seems to be something cool about a man who does not have to speak to people and acts like he is better than them. He is extremely good looking, has a very successful career and a cool confidence. But the main thing that stands out is how detached and aloof he is to nearly everyone.
What is the psychology behind this?
Last edited by I'm Retired Now; 12-18-2013 at 08:09 AM..
In my extended family, we have one guy who shows up at family events who does not say much to anyone, but is highly respected. People try so hard to get him to talk to them and when he does interact, they feel like they talked to a movie star. Getting Chris to talk to them, even briefly, just makes their day. Getting this aloof man, to acknowledge them and spend a few minutes speaking to them, also gives them credibility within the group. People notice who Chris talks to, and who he ignores, and the ones who get some conversation from Chris are elevated socially.
No one really gets much attention from Chris, he quickly withdraws from most conversations not wanting to lower himself to being trapped in a conversation with the likes of us.
There seems to be something cool about a man who does not have to speak to people and acts like he is better than them. He is extremely good looking, has a very successful career and a cool confidence. But the main thing that stands out is how detached and aloof he is to nearly everyone.
What is the psychology behind this?
Probably because he's good looking, successful and has a cool confidence.
If these are extended family gatherings as you indicated, I would think there would be enough people there to talk to that Chris wouldn't be a problem.
In my extended family, we have one guy who shows up at family events who does not say much to anyone, but is highly respected. People try so hard to get him to talk to them and when he does interact, they feel like they talked to a movie star. Getting Chris to talk to them, even briefly, just makes their day. Getting this aloof man, to acknowledge them and spend a few minutes speaking to them, also gives them credibility within the group. People notice who Chris talks to, and who he ignores, and the ones who get some conversation from Chris are elevated socially.
No one really gets much attention from Chris, he quickly withdraws from most conversations not wanting to lower himself to being trapped in a conversation with the likes of us.
There seems to be something cool about a man who does not have to speak to people and acts like he is better than them. He is extremely good looking, has a very successful career and a cool confidence. But the main thing that stands out is how detached and aloof he is to nearly everyone.
What is the psychology behind this?
My guess is your description of him says why .He is handsome; very successful and confident.That attracts people often. But aloof IMO often can be sign of someone who isn't confortable in situation or is bored and going thru the motions also; so don't think your thinking on aloof is always true that they always attract.
Chris has "rank" for some reason. You only mentioned the one trait, but he probably has other traits that elicit high rank . . . and the fact that his interactions are so highly prized also turns interacting with him into a contest.
Just to chime in, just because he acts aloof doesn't mean he thinks he is better than anyone else. I am aloof, but it is mostly a combination of shyness and not wanting to add anything to the conversation that isn't meaningful. So, I just tend to listen and talk when others ask me of something/want my opinion. I am not stuck up and think I am better than others. Maybe he is the same way (he prefers to listen to your talks and mainly be around his family physically than actually talk). He could also be introverted.
I think most people would notice the difference between someone who is quiet and shy (aloof) and the I am better than you form of being aloof.
Chris can be cold, distant and uncommunicative but people just love being in his presence. Being aloof gives him credibility and stature.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissy
Just to chime in, just because he acts aloof doesn't mean he thinks he is better than anyone else. I am aloof, but it is mostly a combination of shyness and not wanting to add anything to the conversation that isn't meaningful. So, I just tend to listen and talk when others ask me of something/want my opinion. I am not stuck up and think I am better than others. Maybe he is the same way (he prefers to listen to your talks and mainly be around his family physically than actually talk). He could also be introverted.
Really? I always see the people who are desperate for company and friendly with all the friends.
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