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So I've been having an interesting discussion with a few friends and thought I would bring it here to share. I don't think this necessarily applies to the "relationships" forum either, since this isn't specifically about relationships.
Please understand my post is just one of many theories I have considered, and by no means do I mean to make any sweeping generalizations (as I am aware men and women vary in what they consider "sexual"). I am aware many women are just as visual, if not moreso, than men. I also understand that many men, that being said, see emotional connection just as important as visual stimulation in terms of sexual experience.
So, getting down to it.
Assuming a heterosexual relationship (for the sake of simplicity), If it is "fair", for a lack of better words, for men to attend strip clubs, what is the female equivalent of attending a strip club, assuming a female isn't interested in seeing male strippers? Is this seeing another man for coffee? Showing another man my body for fun? None of these?
I guess what I'm getting at here is something quite simple. This is all purely a hypothetical situation that I unfortunately haven't had a chance to relate with my SO (he's not been to a strip club), but If it is fair for a man to go to a strip club, is it not fair for a woman to then enjoy the company of other men in terms of flirting, dancing, or seeing these men naked?
I ask this question for many reasons because it actually puzzles me. Again, I have no thoughts strongly in any direction. I have noticed that although many men I know enjoy strip clubs, they get insanely jealous (a few to the point of physical altercation) if another man touches their woman, or get very upset when a woman dances with another man at a club or a bar setting. This seems odd to me, as attending a strip club is enjoying the bodies of other women who are not your SO, they could in fact be someone else's SO (or not), yet when a woman engages in similar behavior (arguably more innocent since they do not intend to see this man naked, or maybe they do, but let's assume it's innocent flirting), it is more unaccepted.
Is this society that inflicted this? Or just a battle of the sexes? I think it's interesting to see where this goes, I'd like to see everyone thoughts.
Again, I'm aware that there are men and women who regularly defy all of these "norms", I'm just talking about the average joe/jane, if you will.
Disclaimer: I am not saying men/women are right or wrong for engaging in any of the above activities, so please don't flame me for that. I'm actually genuinely interested in if people have given this any thought before, and I'd be interested to see what the men think is an equivalent activity. I'm interested in hearing what the ladies have to say about what they view as equal. Of course we will never be 100% in understanding (unless I woke up as a male tomorrow, and all males woke up female), but it's an interesting topic to discuss. I think.
Well to be fair dancing with someone isn't the same as just looking at them strip. Plenty of women would get similarly jealous if their man danced with another woman. Personally I don't think I'd feel jealous or insecure unless they were obvious getting close. To me it's more about the emotional component more than the physical thing. I could forgive cheating once or twice, as long as she was remorseful and wanted to be with me.
I guess it depends on the woman? I'm not a woman, so I can't say, but some like male strippers - some treat it as a joke, since society still treats male strippers as a joke, and I guess females aren't aroused in quite the same manner.
Whether it's 'fair' or not depends on the partner. Yeah, of course if I went to a strip club it'd be hypocritical to not allow my wife or gf to go to one, ALTHOUGH I've heard in some male strip clubs the patrons touch a lot and can get very physical (even having sex) with the strippers. Can't verify that as I've never been to a male strip club.
I've been to a strip club a couple of times - brought a long by friends - and did not enjoy the experience. It felt really exploitative (both ways), but I'm not saying ban them, it's their choice to strip and it's the men's choice to waste their money on it. I just felt a bit like a loser, and didn't really feel as turned on as you would think by the performances or these women grinding on me, it just felt so fake. In fact a bit turned off at the same time. I'm straight, and confess to occasionally watching porn, which I actually feel is better than watching strippers even if the strippers are there in the flesh. Though I'm not a big fan of porn either, for the most part.
Well to be fair dancing with someone isn't the same as just looking at them strip. Plenty of women would get similarly jealous if their man danced with another woman. Personally I don't think I'd feel jealous or insecure unless they were obvious getting close. To me it's more about the emotional component more than the physical thing. I could forgive cheating once or twice, as long as she was remorseful and wanted to be with me.
I guess it depends on the woman? I'm not a woman, so I can't say, but some like male strippers - some treat it as a joke, since society still treats male strippers as a joke, and I guess females aren't aroused in quite the same manner.
Whether it's 'fair' or not depends on the partner. Yeah, of course if I went to a strip club it'd be hypocritical to not allow my wife or gf to go to one, ALTHOUGH I've heard in some male strip clubs the patrons touch a lot and can get very physical (even having sex) with the strippers. Can't verify that as I've never been to a male strip club.
I've been to a strip club a couple of times - brought a long by friends - and did not enjoy the experience. It felt really exploitative (both ways), but I'm not saying ban them, it's their choice to strip and it's the men's choice to waste their money on it. I just felt a bit like a loser, and didn't really feel as turned on as you would think by the performances or these women grinding on me, it just felt so fake. In fact a bit turned off at the same time. I'm straight, and confess to occasionally watching porn, which I actually feel is better than watching strippers even if the strippers are there in the flesh. Though I'm not a big fan of porn either, for the most part.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've actually heard this from a lot of men.
What I think most men don't understand is that most wives would love for their husband to ask her to dress up and dance for him (and other things, whatever his heart desires)... Often what's happening is she's waiting for him to tell her what he likes/wants (or she is unaware that he is interested in her this way, sad but often true) while he's too worried that she'll think he's a perv or creep if he mentions it.
It can really spice up your marriage if you could build up the courage to try this. Spend the money and time on your spouse/SO, and as a bonus you'll get to have everything you want, your way, instead of paying strangers to send you away all hot and bothered and lonely. Plus it'll strengthen your marriage, while going to strip clubs risk ruining it.
Some Men look at women different I use to have a Stripper friend, would go to the Club, she would buy my drinks and all. I would watch the Guys more than the Girls, actually found them funny. Yea the girls were nice but not worth acting like what some of these Guys were.
Seen some women enjoy their selves takes woman longer to loosen up but once they did they could be just as Bad. Lots of Girls would back off thinking that wasn't them.
Women are not aroused visually in the same way men are. While I'm sure that male strip clubs do a decent business, they can't hold a candle to the market demand for female strip clubs by men.
I think a fair trade-off which would give the women just as much pleasure would be a shopping trip to a terribly expensive shopping area.
Or maybe a long "lunch with the girls" at a high class restaurant - maybe go there in a limo.
Or other forms of "pampering". Get the "works" at a beauty salon?
And I should think the men would be just as upset at the women doing this, especially if they took along the checkbook / credit cards!
Some of us hate to shop, don't care for high dollar restaurants and don't go to the beauty shop or pay someone for a manicure or pedicure.......
Personally what I think is fair is a strip show for women which I've gone to a couple times.
No big deal, just a show like any other show and just for fun however, I have no problem going to a traditionally male strip club.
When we go it is for the live music that happens to be there and not necessarily the stripper part.
jeez no.. wouldnt walk in the door of one of these seedy places...
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