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Old 01-28-2014, 06:09 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,450,688 times
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I imagine most all of us, in one way or another, have to "adjust" our personalities somewhat to fit into society at large, whether it's maybe "curbing" our typical style of speech in certain environments, or simply just putting on a "happy face" sometimes, even if we're not really in that kinda "mood".

For example, I'm usually kind of the energetic and "speedy" sort, always walking/driving/talking/doing whatever just a bit "faster" than most others around me. So I often have to dial my natural pace back a little in public, in traffic, in conversations, etc. to 'fit in' better (or at least just to avoid getting a ticket…lol)! But it still feels 'artificial' to me, like I'm kinda moving in "slow-mo". And it's not about being ADD or anything, it's just that my internal "clock" seems to run "faster" than most folks.

So what part(s) of your own personality do you feel you most have to "adjust", in order to fit into the everyday "norm"?
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Penna
726 posts, read 1,228,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post

, like I'm kinda moving in "slow-mo". And it's not about being ADD or anything, it's just that my internal "clock" seems to run "faster" than most folks.

So what part(s) of your own personality do you feel you most have to "adjust", in order to fit into the everyday "norm"?
Yeah, my brains like that, thoughts heard and I'm answering them before they are spoken.

No, I don't try to be "normal", it's a waste of my time.... I am here at this time for a reason, why slow down?

What people think they're going to think anyway. Trying to "cover up" will show through.

At least if you are so called "weird" be your own sort of weird.

Don't measure yourself through another's eyes. You'll never know who YOU are.
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,834,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
I imagine most all of us, in one way or another, have to "adjust" our personalities somewhat to fit into society at large, whether it's maybe "curbing" our typical style of speech in certain environments, or simply just putting on a "happy face" sometimes, even if we're not really in that kinda "mood".

For example, I'm usually kind of the energetic and "speedy" sort, always walking/driving/talking/doing whatever just a bit "faster" than most others around me. So I often have to dial my natural pace back a little in public, in traffic, in conversations, etc. to 'fit in' better (or at least just to avoid getting a ticket…lol)! But it still feels 'artificial' to me, like I'm kinda moving in "slow-mo". And it's not about being ADD or anything, it's just that my internal "clock" seems to run "faster" than most folks.

So what part(s) of your own personality do you feel you most have to "adjust", in order to fit into the everyday "norm"?
Mine does too. I have to act posh and proper. All kinds of crap running in my head.
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:36 PM
 
9,000 posts, read 10,173,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
I imagine most all of us, in one way or another, have to "adjust" our personalities somewhat to fit into society at large, whether it's maybe "curbing" our typical style of speech in certain environments, or simply just putting on a "happy face" sometimes, even if we're not really in that kinda "mood".

For example, I'm usually kind of the energetic and "speedy" sort, always walking/driving/talking/doing whatever just a bit "faster" than most others around me. So I often have to dial my natural pace back a little in public, in traffic, in conversations, etc. to 'fit in' better (or at least just to avoid getting a ticket…lol)! But it still feels 'artificial' to me, like I'm kinda moving in "slow-mo". And it's not about being ADD or anything, it's just that my internal "clock" seems to run "faster" than most folks.

So what part(s) of your own personality do you feel you most have to "adjust", in order to fit into the everyday "norm"?

I don't really adjust anything in order to "fit in" anywhere, lol
I'm by nature an introvert, on the shy side (although quite a few people lately have debated that with me lol)
In general, I avoid places where there's huge crowds, etc.
My one exception to that- concerts
I'm a huge music lover, so the introversion goes right out the window for that

Also, as a non conformist....I really don't wanna fit in........

I'm quite content watching everyone else trying so hard to "fit in"
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:37 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,450,688 times
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BTW, to be clear, this isn't about always trying to please others or being someone you're not. And just saying 'the hell with it' and remaining "weird" in all circumstances also has its price.

Even at a minimum, we can't just drive as fast as we feel like, or say any damn thing that comes into our head without some 'consequences'. But for those of us who still care about making just a bit of "social accommodation", and getting along better with those around us (some more than others…lol), what's the most common "adjustment" we have to make… whether it's the way we talk (like the speed, choice of vocabulary, 'talking with our hands', the kinds of ideas, politics, religion, etc.), or assertiveness, or being less/more "touchy-feely" types, adjusting our "boundaries", appearance, what?
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:38 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,379,099 times
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natural manner for many is that of a large aggressive out of control monkey.
our community shapes us into a useful enjoyable productive member.
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Old 04-04-2015, 01:10 PM
 
2,209 posts, read 2,315,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
BTW, to be clear, this isn't about always trying to please others or being someone you're not. And just saying 'the hell with it' and remaining "weird" in all circumstances also has its price.

Even at a minimum, we can't just drive as fast as we feel like, or say any damn thing that comes into our head without some 'consequences'. But for those of us who still care about making just a bit of "social accommodation", and getting along better with those around us (some more than others…lol), what's the most common "adjustment" we have to make… whether it's the way we talk (like the speed, choice of vocabulary, 'talking with our hands', the kinds of ideas, politics, religion, etc.), or assertiveness, or being less/more "touchy-feely" types, adjusting our "boundaries", appearance, what?
I want to comment on this dormant thread because it deals with a topic I find interesting and troubling.

My opinion is that most people have to adjust their social personas to fit a wide variety of social settings. Only the hermetical or the socially inept, I would wager, would not do this; those people would either not care to or not know how to play the expected social game that society expects each individual to play. For me personally, I feel phony in most social situations because I typically act in ways or show behaviors that are opposite of or not accurate reflections of what I am really feeling or thinking in a given social situation. But to be polite, to be appropriate, or to simply be prudent, I don the appropriate social mask for whichever setting I am in.

Is it phony? Of course. Is it deceptive? Yes! But it's necessary. If we didn't edit our social selves and play pretend, we wouldn't get very far in life.
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Old 04-04-2015, 10:15 PM
 
7,275 posts, read 5,279,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
BTW, to be clear, this isn't about always trying to please others or being someone you're not. And just saying 'the hell with it' and remaining "weird" in all circumstances also has its price.

Even at a minimum, we can't just drive as fast as we feel like, or say any damn thing that comes into our head without some 'consequences'. But for those of us who still care about making just a bit of "social accommodation", and getting along better with those around us (some more than others…lol), what's the most common "adjustment" we have to make… whether it's the way we talk (like the speed, choice of vocabulary, 'talking with our hands', the kinds of ideas, politics, religion, etc.), or assertiveness, or being less/more "touchy-feely" types, adjusting our "boundaries", appearance, what?
The most natural adjustment isn't anything in particular. It's on an individual basis each time you interact with another person.

Either you just be yourself without any care, or you consciously adjust yourself for a better fit in the moment. Every person you meet is different. The adaptation totally depends on the situation. Talk to an older person means sometimes slowing down when you speak; being professional even when you hate your job means protecting the job; saying you're sorry if you bump into someone may prevent an altercation.

But as you say, we were never meant to walk in a straight line all the time. If we all did that the world would be one huge pinball machine. Instead we're constantly bobbing and weaving in life. I just don't think it's any one thing we do to fit in - it's something we do constantly.

.......sometimes a resurrected thread is fun
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Old 04-04-2015, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Virginia
93 posts, read 77,566 times
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Interesting thread. I find myself incapable of adapting to the norm. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Perfect strangers can tell when I'm upset. I can't play poker.

I do try to use filters in professional situations and watch my natural tendency to use foul language in public forums.

However, I feel for the most part that I can't pretend to be "normal." This bothers me sometimes as I really don't like the attention. I feel different than most people most of the time.
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Old 04-05-2015, 03:09 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,380 posts, read 6,269,198 times
Reputation: 9915
I have to censor myself. A LOT!

And I don't always succeed.
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