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Again we are not talking about punching a child here. Stop acting like we beating the child's head in, Nor are we talking about spanking a newborn.
You 8 years old & you have been told not to do said thing & you do it then yes, you get a spanking.
There is a HUGE difference.
Why can't a parent sit the child down and use words instead of hitting the child? If my eight year old child does something I've told him not to, I would choose an appropriate punishment and stick to it. Grounding or removal of favorite toys, etc. for a specified period of time. If he disobeys yet again, the punishment is more severe. But it wouldn't involve physically hitting since it solves nothing in the long run. Either the child will learn to be sneakier so he doesn't get caught or he'll learn that his parents like to inflict pain on him when they're mad. I truly don't understand the spanking mindset. You're not going to end up with the result you're hoping for and that's failing your child. It seems reactive instead of proactive.
Why can't a parent sit the child down and use words instead of hitting the child? If my eight year old child does something I've told him not to, I would choose an appropriate punishment and stick to it. Grounding or removal of favorite toys, etc. for a specified period of time. If he disobeys yet again, the punishment is more severe. But it wouldn't involve physically hitting since it solves nothing in the long run. Either the child will learn to be sneakier so he doesn't get caught or he'll learn that his parents like to inflict pain on him when they're mad. I truly don't understand the spanking mindset. You're not going to end up with the result you're hoping for and that's failing your child. It seems reactive instead of proactive.
At some extent your right. But if the child steals something or hurts someone badly or jacks a car.
Do you think that sitting down & talking to them is going to work? Some children don't respond to " that was a bad thing you did."
At some extent your right. But if the child steals something or hurts someone badly or jacks a car.
Do you think that sitting down & talking to them is going to work? Some children don't respond to " that was a bad thing you did."
That's an extreme situation and if a kid is stealing cars and hurting others on purpose, spanking will not help. In fact, I'd wager that it would make an already disturbed kid into a more disturbed one. Just telling a child that they did a bad thing isn't what I'm talking about. Consistency is important. The first time a child does something that is unacceptable, you warn them that it's not okay and tell them that there will be consequences if they choose to do it again. If they do it again, follow through with the consequence... removal of favorite toy, not being allowed to do something they enjoy, etc. If it becomes a habit for the kid to do the unacceptable thing, then the consequences need to be a bit more drastic. It might get really frustrating for the parent, but it is worth the trouble. The kid needs to learn that the parent or caregiver means what they say and there will be consequences to bad behavior. Hitting the child only shows that the parent is bigger and out of control. It will have no positive, long term impact on the kid, in my opinion.
If my kid were to hurt someone, I would think that hitting him to show him to NOT hurt someone would be counter-productive. Do you know what I mean?
Thanks for the conversation. I'm glad you knew I was just trying to understand the mindset and not picking a fight.
That's an extreme situation and if a kid is stealing cars and hurting others on purpose, spanking will not help.
If my kid were to hurt someone, I would think that hitting him to show him to NOT hurt someone would be counter-productive. Do you know what I mean?
Thanks for the conversation. I'm glad you knew I was just trying to understand the mindset and not picking a fight.
Here's the problem that I find with what you said. At some point the kid is going to understand that nothing is going to happen to him/her beyond you talking to them or taking away their cell phone, grounding them, etc. At some point in time they are going to understand that more or less your slapping them on the hand. Kids some times do extreme things I should know I was one of those kids & I got my arse spanked for it. While I did do some other things that we're stupid & dangerous I didn't repeat what got my butt whipped either.
I've never seen anyone lovingly spank a kid. It's almost always out of anger and frustration and ends up escalating the issues. Even a really young kid can learn that a tone of voice means that they're in trouble. The key is to know what will really affect your kid the most. When I was young, being grounded WAS enough to make me toe the line. Being spanked led to anxiety and mistrust. That's a pretty big trade off. And I wouldn't want to risk my child's mental health, personally. If there was even a small chance that striking my child would lead to them becoming anxiety ridden, I'd find a different way to discipline.
I got the wooden spoon from my mom and the belt from my dad. I deserved it every time. It worked. I didn't do what they hit me for again. If they simply asked me not to do it, I probably would have because I was a kid and would try to get away with whatever I could. I now have kids and I rarely spank them but sure yell at them a lot when they deserve it.
I got the wooden spoon from my mom and the belt from my dad. I deserved it every time. It worked. I didn't do what they hit me for again. If they simply asked me not to do it, I probably would have because I was a kid and would try to get away with whatever I could. I now have kids and I rarely spank them but sure yell at them a lot when they deserve it.
So, you favor verbal abuse over physical abuse, but still use physical abuse sometimes.
I got the wooden spoon from my mom and the belt from my dad. I deserved it every time. It worked. I didn't do what they hit me for again. If they simply asked me not to do it, I probably would have because I was a kid and would try to get away with whatever I could. I now have kids and I rarely spank them but sure yell at them a lot when they deserve it.
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You were a kid who got away with whatever you could precisely because you got spanked.
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Nor are we talking about spanking a newborn.
