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Old 03-06-2014, 09:03 AM
 
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A childhood friend of my husband. All I can think when I think of it is his mother. He was her only child. He could not have understood what that would do to her. As a parent, it's a terrifying thought.
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Old 03-17-2014, 10:20 AM
 
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Most people that are past their teens end up committing suicide for failure of a romantic relationship or work complications. Until last year I was fortunate enough not to know anyone who committed suicide.

Then a friend of mine going through a nasty divorce with a wife that was trying to take custody of his daughter committed suicide. He was one of those genuinely nice, laid back people that everyone warms up to easily. And I'm not saying that just because he's dead. I still can't believe his wife was trying to take away his daughter from him, I think that was the last straw for him.

He was going through these issues since I met him and although his eyes gave away the fact that he was troubled, he never burdened people with his issues. I always think that maybe if he let it out and expressed himself, maybe things could have turned out different. What really struck a nerve when I found out that he took his life is that we were literally born on the same day down to the year. RIP my friend, I hope you found the peace you deserve.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:29 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,836,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Have you ever personally know anyone who successfully committed suicide? How did you feel about it, and did it affect your life in any way?

I think the only one I've known was one of my high school teachers. I believe it was about domestic issues. I was pretty young at the time, but I don't think I thought a lot about it.

Oddly, there have been four suicide deaths among the 49 boys who were in my graduating class from high school, which is a pretty staggering statistic (8%). But none of those were anyone whom I had ever seen after graduation, so I can't say I knew them. None of them were the kind of kids in school that anyone would ever point a finger at, about their character or personality.


yes, sadly I have ha a few the first was my favorite uncle when I was 18
years later friends
it is very hard to deal with grief, anger at them, depressed all sorts of things confusion wondering if I could have stopped them had I known they were going to do this
processing a death like this is vital
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Old 03-17-2014, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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Some very dear friends of mine who are now in their 70's had one child, a daughter, who committed suicide when she was 24. Their personal hell started several years before the actual suicide as their daughter, a very talented young woman, descended into drug addiction. I tried to do what I could to help, but of course felt totally helpless. When the time came that they were ready, a relative and I cleaned out the daughter's room and repainted it, as they could not bring themselves to do it. My friends were very grateful to have that dark place (both literally and figuratively) turned into a bright, clean room.

How parents come through such a thing without descending into madness themselves remains a wonder and a mystery to me. The pain and suffering are staggering - beyond my comprehension.

How can a bright early promise backfire so completely? Intelligent, well-educated, hard-working, honest parents - a pretty, bright, and talented daughter? In retrospect one can see certain things: the father with anger management issues, the mother fostering unrealistically high expectations. But in so many families the problems are so much worse without engendering tragic results.

I once asked the mother at what age the problems started and she answered, "Almost from the day she reached puberty". To me that suggests congenital mental health issues, but I am no expert and it remains a tragic mystery.
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Old 03-17-2014, 11:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Some very dear friends of mine who are now in their 70's had one child, a daughter, who committed suicide when she was 24. Their personal hell started several years before the actual suicide as their daughter, a very talented young woman, descended into drug addiction. I tried to do what I could to help, but of course felt totally helpless. When the time came that they were ready, a relative and I cleaned out the daughter's room and repainted it, as they could not bring themselves to do it. My friends were very grateful to have that dark place (both literally and figuratively) turned into a bright, clean room.

How parents come through such a thing without descending into madness themselves remains a wonder and a mystery to me. The pain and suffering are staggering - beyond my comprehension.

How can a bright early promise backfire so completely? Intelligent, well-educated, hard-working, honest parents - a pretty, bright, and talented daughter? In retrospect one can see certain things: the father with anger management issues, the mother fostering unrealistically high expectations. But in so many families the problems are so much worse without engendering tragic results.

I once asked the mother at what age the problems started and she answered, "Almost from the day she reached puberty". To me that suggests congenital mental health issues, but I am no expert and it remains a tragic mystery.
Sounds like a very tragic experience. It somehow makes it even worse because she was young. She had so many years ahead of her. My friend was 27 when he took his life. I hope your friends have made peace with that experience becuase I can only imagine what kind of pain they must have been going through when their daughter first passed away.
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Old 03-18-2014, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
166 posts, read 246,488 times
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Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
Working in mental health, I've unfortunately known a number of people who completed suicides. I'm glad that this has not happened with any close friends or family.



I had a weird encounter with a suicide that affected me more than I ever thought it could, because it was a total stranger. A few years ago, in 2008, I was coming back from a professional conference on an Amtrak train, and I was in the very first car. We ran over what felt like wooden boards, like maybe someone had left a wooden pallet on the tracks as a prank. It was like a crunching, grinding right under my feet and my seat. The train stopped within a couple miles of the crashing/crunching noise, and they announced that the train had struck "a trespasser" and we would be detained because it was now a crime scene, and they'd have to send another train for us.

That crunching that we ran over was a person.
I just got tears in my eyes when typing that, even after several years.

In subsequent days I researched online and learned about the person--a well-loved college student from Rutgers. There were online articles about him, facebook memorials, etc, about what a truly wonderful guy he was, and how he had not let anyone know how he was feeling. I felt like I knew him and had lost someone I cared about. I almost got a little obsessed with learning everything about him that I could. I also go a little obsessed with researching how train drivers/ engineers deal with this--when a person uses them as an instrument of their own suicide, and there's nothing the engineer can do about it. Evidently it happens so much, they have procedures for it, and it becomes almost routine for some, but some have PTSD from it.

I guess what I learned from that experience is that even though this was not a person I knew and loved, I was still affected deeply by his suicide, since I was involved in his death. I still shudder and get a sinking feeling in my stomach when I run over something in my car and get that crunching, thumping sensation. Like a flashback.
You know, sometimes I think about killing myself and the train option always seemed like something I might do...but now that you've described that offing myself that way would be horrible...Not that I would off myself, just that that would be the last way I did it.
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Old 03-18-2014, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
166 posts, read 246,488 times
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This thread is making me tear up. Such sad stories!
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