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I was traumatized as a teen and was dealing with Major amounts of stress. As a result i feel like it may have blocked me from growing and trying to be productive at 18 years old. Instead i slacked on growing up but became in extremely depressive and a fearful. But now it seems to me that the trauma may have stunned my growth into becoming an adult and stress is hard to handle for me. As i start to feel better i can see why people have moved on with their lives as adults and why they don't need any one. I am starting to see why people act independent because as i feel better, i am acting more independent.
So this issue i feel with my family is why in the hell did some of them exploit me when i was broken down?
why would my brother feel like he can try to break me even more as i was tore open, what kind of scum would do that . My siblings had an attitude like oh well he is a sad person, but when sister was being ****ed over and abused by her old boyfriend, she wanted everyone to feel her little pain when she left him. i can never understand people, people think your a sorry person, but when you tell them you are mentally ill they ignore it. But everybody wants someone to hear their story and feel their pain as they take out their anger on you. no one ever asked me why am i like this or how am i doing they just wanted me to get up.
if any one would to reply go for it, and i would like to see what you think.
W/o more info, you may want to talk to a professional therapist or counselor, they can help get you thru the past so you can move on, just be as open as you can be and give them enough info so they can help. If you still live near your family, maybe seeing them less would help, it's your life and you have more control over it than you may think. Good luck
They don't have the emotional maturity or skills, even if they did, to
know how you should have been treated.
Often a sibling actually confused, frustrated and also so immature resorts to
age old, youthful teasing and bad behavior.
What kind of person would do this? Just an ignorant person acting out frustration
of his own incompetence.
People are basically good...they are just so dumb.
Forgive him, talk to him (your brother)...and STILL years later what you may get is defensiveness or
denials...not a mature conversation. That is his shame...not really who he is.
This is more about you and how you are learning coping skills and forgiveness now, imo.
Yes, it's kind of hard to put things into perspective without understanding what the trauma was, and your family's response.
Hello there, well what happened was as a teen people were trying to degrade me, bully me and take my happiness away from me. People were mistreating me due to me not being as intelligent (below average intelligence) as them so i became a target. In my situation i am from the inner city so when it happened in school its was not like those kids who say that they hate life because they were made fun of But i was being HIT! My brother was also putting me down often, even as adults my brother still treats me like he hates me but then turns around and acts nice to me. When i was 18 my siblings never tried to understand me and why i was too tired and sick to even try to go to college at the time. At the time my stupid brother kept picking on me still getting into my business in a negative way instead us sticking together. MY cousin managed to get away with using manipulation pretending he was helpful but in reality he was really not in it to help. I feel so lied to, i feel like family values are for those who qualify and from my observation, some people dont feel its their job to help the next person (excluding their child). Back then my sister was getting better from being disrespected by her boyfriend, it was allot of time since she left and i thought we connected after i stood by her side. In reality she never came to me and tried to understand me, sometimes my heart tells me to leave them as a family and find new family.
Hello there, well what happened was as a teen people were trying to degrade me, bully me and take my happiness away from me. People were mistreating me due to me not being as intelligent (below average intelligence) as them so i became a target. In my situation i am from the inner city so when it happened in school its was not like those kids who say that they hate life because they were made fun of But i was being HIT! My brother was also putting me down often, even as adults my brother still treats me like he hates me but then turns around and acts nice to me. When i was 18 my siblings never tried to understand me and why i was too tired and sick to even try to go to college at the time. At the time my stupid brother kept picking on me still getting into my business in a negative way instead us sticking together. MY cousin managed to get away with using manipulation pretending he was helpful but in reality he was really not in it to help. I feel so lied to, i feel like family values are for those who qualify and from my observation, some people dont feel its their job to help the next person (excluding their child). Back then my sister was getting better from being disrespected by her boyfriend, it was allot of time since she left and i thought we connected after i stood by her side. In reality she never came to me and tried to understand me, sometimes my heart tells me to leave them as a family and find new family.
I'm sorry. I feel your pain. But you can't always rely on family to be kind and supportive. I don't really have supportive family. I have a father who although sometimes nice, is abusive. And a sister who hasn't talked to me in 10 years for no reason anyone knows of. Other than that, I have no family. It sucks, it can seem not fair, but it happens more than you might think.
I wouldn't keep trying to get family that were rarely nice to you to become nice. I'd look to new people, new friends that support you for who you are.
You're good at something, or have interests that have never been explored. Get out there and find like-minded people and don't let your family members steal your joy, man. My youngest says about his dad and his brother "They're a-holes, but they're MY a-holes"
I just saw your response, but I am afraid I don't have time to reply properly right now. I don't want to give you a response that is not thought-out well, because that might only do harm. Give me a bit of time, and I shall think it over, and come back if I can, with some ideas. I actually believe hunterseat is right, however. You will excel at something, and it will give you joy. You just need to find it. So that is a start...
We don't get to pick our families (until we are adults).
Sometimes you will come across people who aren't capable of understanding and being supportive...sometimes these same people are family members. There is nothing wrong with going on with living your life leaving those behind who cant/don't meet your needs (including family). You only get one life, don't spend time investing on the image you have set in your mind of what families are supposed to be because often things just aren't that way nor will they ever be.
Once you move on and form new relationships you will find it much easier to accept your family members limitations.
I find my family is GREAT as long as I never expect any support and never put myself in the position of needing anything supportive from them because it simply will not happen and I will only find myself devestated and confused once again.
I'm an adult and my chosen friends are my family now.
I feel for you...really do! And yes the more independent you become the happier you will probably be.
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. My siblings had an attitude like oh well he is a sad person, but when sister was being ****ed over and abused by her old boyfriend, she wanted everyone to feel her little pain when she left him. i can never understand people, people think your a sorry person, but when you tell them you are mentally ill they ignore it. But everybody wants someone to hear their story and feel their pain as they take out their anger on you. no one ever asked me why am i like this or how am i doing they just wanted me to get up.
