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First of all, let me begin with what I think Asperger's is and why I do not think I have it.
Asperger's, I believe, is an inability to think abstractly or understand nonverbal cues. It was once characterized as a high-functioning form of Autism. People with this disorder often find abstract reasoning and day-to-day social interactions frustrating and may need training to recognize certain nonverbal cues and interact correctly in a social situation.
I do not think I have this disorder, because, although I do have trouble communicating with people at times, I have little trouble thinking abstractly; I have an English degree, and I had to be able to interpret poetry and decipher many different forms of figurative language in order to obtain my teaching certification. I also don't have a lot of trouble understanding obvious nonverbal cues; I can tell a smile from a frown in most instances.
Still, though, I wonder. Although I can, theoretically, communicate with other people, I do not often follow many of the more subtle rules governing communication; For instance, I may look at the wall instead of the person when I'm trying to explain a difficult concept, for example. In fact, I find faces distracting, and, rather than go through the stress it takes to remember my topic and look at the person, I usually look away from the person and direct my gaze to perhaps a spot on the wall right above the person's head. I don't find looking people in the eye a natural thing, though, and I've averted my gaze since I was a child. I also use big words for no real reason. Sometimes, I find the big words easier to recall than the smaller words, and I did this as a child. I couldn't really get on anyone's level, except maybe my teachers; one of my good friends often complained that she did not understand much of what I was saying. I also have a hard time just relating nonverbally. I don't tend to dress like everyone else or even know how to do so. People often complain that I'm not friendly or seem disinterested, even though I'm quite interested in what they are saying. I tend to frown instead of smile and find smiling a bit unnatural. I also have a little trouble paying attention during conversations.
If it seems like I may be affected by this disorder, what is my next step? How should I go about being tested? I know that this disorder is common on my dad's side of the family, but normally children who have it are identified early.
The best way to get diagnosed is to visit a therapist that specializes in Aspergers. They will talk with you on multiple visits in order to determine if you fit the symptoms of Asperger's. To my knowledge, the only way to really help your symptoms to be more socially accepted, is by practice. There's no pill or anything. If you're well aware that you shift your eyes a lot, try to not shift then when talking to someone. When someone is talking and thinking you're not interested, show you're interested (look them in the eyes, nod, smile, etc). It seems you know what you do and what the norm is, so all you can really do is try to change your habits.
Even so, your case doesn't sound too extreme. You could simply be borderline Asperger's, but not quite have it. You could just simply be socially awkward.
I am, also, socially awkward... but because I have a hearing loss and no one gave me the time of day to grow the ability to be social like a normal person. It would take a lot for me to change my habits. So most people that meet me, don't realize I'm hearing impaired, didn't hear them, and they just assume I'm rude or something. It's funny how society has instant generalizations for people who don't fit their idea of acceptable.
The best way to get diagnosed is to visit a therapist that specializes in Aspergers. They will talk with you on multiple visits in order to determine if you fit the symptoms of Asperger's. To my knowledge, the only way to really help your symptoms to be more socially accepted, is by practice. There's no pill or anything. If you're well aware that you shift your eyes a lot, try to not shift then when talking to someone. When someone is talking and thinking you're not interested, show you're interested (look them in the eyes, nod, smile, etc). It seems you know what you do and what the norm is, so all you can really do is try to change your habits.
Even so, your case doesn't sound too extreme. You could simply be borderline Asperger's, but not quite have it. You could just simply be socially awkward.
I am, also, socially awkward... but because I have a hearing loss and no one gave me the time of day to grow the ability to be social like a normal person. It would take a lot for me to change my habits. So most people that meet me, don't realize I'm hearing impaired, didn't hear them, and they just assume I'm rude or something. It's funny how society has instant generalizations for people who don't fit their idea of acceptable.
Thanks for the tips. I don't really know where to go to get tested, though. Is there a database with clinic information?
Also, yeah, I sympathize with the plight of being socially awkward. Society's norms are a bit difficult to keep up with, and I feel like special training might go a long way for this young lady. I've even thought about maybe taking a few acting lessons to better express my thoughts nonverbally. It is silly the way society makes its own generalizations of us. Those people are being rude, but we are conditioned to act that way, unfortunately. If you know sign language, you might be able to sign to the person who greets you next time. That way he or she will have an idea that you are hearing impaired, not just being rude. Better yet, join up with more hearing impaired members of society.
I know it's probably not reliable, but I did score high on this quiz for Asperger's Analysing your test results for Aspergers Syndrome It doesn't mean that I have it, by any means at all, and, to my knowledge, it's not an official diagnostic tool, but it just raised the question for me. What would be tale-tale signs if I had this? Do I sound like I should get tested?
Aspergers people are usually very good at abstract thinking. I come from a whole family of Aspies and my eldest son had it. He suffered at school but in his late teens he learned social skills and became very skilled at it but his distress did not ease. Hid downfall was not the Aspergers but the extreme anxiety which can come with it.
Remember that having Aspergers can be considered a blessing but it it can also be a curse. A very large number of great people are now thought to have been Aspies. In my family we have a professor of entomology (now retired), a professor of mathematics, a professor of chemistry, a computer boffin etc but on the other hand there was my son. He was a great guy and well loved. But he suffered from his inner demons. As he put it, there was a monster inside him that he had to fight to keep down but that would surface like with whatever triggered it. One fateful night it overpowered him.
If your tests indicate you have Aspergers you may well have Aspergers. That is not a bad thing. It is good to know why you may be the way you are and to embrace it. Live with it and make the most of it and learn to deal with the quirkiness that sometimes come with it. Embrace that too.
If you are having difficulties like maybe anxiety, depression or perhaps loneliness as in difficulty finding a suitable companion then get help. Do the research on the 'net. You're bright (many Aspies are), you can use your skills to cope with the shortcomings. Of course, after the fact, I have now found that help was available for my son.
I have Asperger's, and the ways it manifests can be subtle and/or baffling (easily misunderstood).
It can be missed, or the label didn't even yet exist, when some of us folks were growing up-
so we instead received other labels for our problems, but they weren't really accurate.
Wasn't diagnosed with this until I was almost 31.
No one has AS. I do recommended you get tested, as you do exhibit or describe a couple of traits. But that could also be several other diagnosis', none of which an Internet forum is qualified or should be depended upon for something so important.
Well, Aspergers is a social developmental disorder. Kids can suffer badly from it because they don't have the social skills that others of their age have. I know all about that. My son was the same. He was fine up to a certain age then things went south. Anxiety/depression/mood instability/over-sensitivity or whatever. I was OK until I started school. I never really coped with school and neither did my son. I became depressed in my early teens as did my son. Insomnia seems to be a feature - it was in my school days and was in my sons adult life. For me I just couldn't stop thinking. I did learn to sleep eventually.
However, the 'social development disorder' part isn't the only aspect of Aspergers. Aspies can be great people too (and probably often are).
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