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With all due respect, John, if you re-read your post, you'll find it filled with "dislike and hate." What if you turned that around and became pro-active in your life?
You haven't a clue on how to fix your life? Counseling? Volunteer work to give of yourself? Then you wouldn't be lonely.
We cannot help aging--this is true.
But we can help making it a great time of our lives.
Wishing you better thoughts and more being pro-active.
So many elders/older people give so much to our lives...use your wisdom and power.
Bolded: I have to work. I have a long commute and have to deal with rude and aggressive drivers every weekday.
I do not have any time at all.
My contribution to society is being a regular blood donor for the past 25 years. Others, especially parents of young children, want to see them live. I recognize the fact that just because I don't want to live anymore doesn't mean others feel the same way. I am not a selfish person.
No "hate" toward others at all, except people who discriminate and those who are rude to others.
I tried to connect with others but gave up. One can only take so much rejection.
I feel sorry for any rude, aggressive drivers...
I figure they didn't get any last night.
Or their son just got arrested for another knife
found in his locker...or...it is endless.
My peace is then even MORE valued...that I am not like "them'.
(Oops, forgot we are all One,there's no 'them', oh well...)
People are always complaining that their lives aren't as happy as they want them to be. I recently read a piece (Reasons Our Lives Aren’t as Happy as They Can Be) that stresses the need to keep our lives simple in order to attain fulfillment.
I feel this article might be on to something, but I disagree that a simple life suits everybody. I know several people who thrive in chaotic situations and environments -- and they wouldn't have it any other way.
What's your take? Has keeping it simple worked for you? Is keeping it simple even possible anymore?
I don't agree that people thrive in chaotic environments, though I say that because I could not thrive in an environment like that. Personally, living day to day without enough time to self-reflect isn't a happy life at all.
I think the reason simplicity is valued is because it creates more time for people to seek fulfillment outside of work, school, family, etc. When you factor in all the time we spend working, sleeping, raising children, working on projects, etc., you realize there really isn't much time to just... be.
I think keeping it simple is possible for anyone, but it's easy to get caught up in the complications of adulthood. When we're young, we're thrown into lives that our parents want us to live (or they wanted to live but couldn't). We please them by going to school, attaining debt and attempting to find fulfillment through high paying jobs. Some of us have children for the mere fact that others are, not really thinking about what we want or what the consequences are. We just do it. And then we say, "I'll make sure my child doesn't get the life I did." And the process repeats.
Yes, that's true, we do have challenging outside pressures and situations that are thrown at us. But isn't it our thoughts and reaction to these that cause our happiness or unhappiness?
How is it that certain people plow on, seemingly powered by some interior peace that transcends all adversity?
I'm thinking of the Dalai Llama whose country of Tibet was taken over by the Chinese. He and many of his followers had to flee to India...yet the man radiates peace and tranquility despite all that adversity. And losing your beloved country has to rank way up there on the problems one could face.
There's a book called the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that's been very helpful to me personally in learning how to maintain my inner peace while facing difficulties. I recommend it often to others.
Some people plow on because it's easy for them. They are made that way.
While it is good to keep an open mind and learn, it is also true that no two people are alike and some people find troubles easier to deal with than others. Just as we have different gifts, different flaws, and different abilities, so too we are born with a certain personality. Some people are happy-go-lucky no matter what, and others aren't and will always find life a struggle. For the first, applying the ideas of Tolle and the Dalai Lama (who are wonderful, by the way), is easy. For the latter, not so much. Not saying they can't try and that they won't get something out of it, but struggle they will. If we were all alike, we'd get the same result.
The other day I was watching a swimming instructor with children the same or similar ages. Some were naturally good at swimming, some were brave, others not so brave, and others were not comfortable holding their breath. We are all made differently. I guess that's how it's supposed to be.
I don't agree that people thrive in chaotic environments, though I say that because I could not thrive in an environment like that. Personally, living day to day without enough time to self-reflect isn't a happy life at all.
I think the reason simplicity is valued is because it creates more time for people to seek fulfillment outside of work, school, family, etc. When you factor in all the time we spend working, sleeping, raising children, working on projects, etc., you realize there really isn't much time to just... be.
I think keeping it simple is possible for anyone, but it's easy to get caught up in the complications of adulthood. When we're young, we're thrown into lives that our parents want us to live (or they wanted to live but couldn't). We please them by going to school, attaining debt and attempting to find fulfillment through high paying jobs. Some of us have children for the mere fact that others are, not really thinking about what we want or what the consequences are. We just do it. And then we say, "I'll make sure my child doesn't get the life I did." And the process repeats.
I agree. I used to attend the talks by someone who wrote a book, Un Mistico en la Ciudad (A Mystic in the City). The title he used (and the subject of the book) was basically that if you're a monk removed from the pressures of daily, modern life, it's easier to focus and be, and to reach enlightenment. It's not so easy when you're facing constant stimuli, endless stressors, and the constant busyness, challenges and shocks of modern life.
It's like trying to meditate in the middle of a marching band.
One day, my husband told me he was only 90% happy. I thought that sounded good. He didn't. He thought he should be 100% happy. I gave him opportunity to make that a reality. We divorced. Six months later, he called and came by, asking me to marry him again. No way, Jose. He married another a few days later. She had 3 young children. He actually thought it would work. It didn't.
A few months later, he asked me again. My answer remained the same. He married again and it lasted a couple years. He was dissatisfied with 90%. I don't know what it was later on, but possibly much lower.
John13, it saddening to read your posts, because I know there is a woman somewhere in your locale who would be perfect for you and you've given up.
One day, my husband told me he was only 90% happy. I thought that sounded good. He didn't. He thought he should be 100% happy. I gave him opportunity to make that a reality. We divorced. Six months later, he called and came by, asking me to marry him again. No way, Jose. He married another a few days later. She had 3 young children. He actually thought it would work. It didn't.
A few months later, he asked me again. My answer remained the same. He married again and it lasted a couple years. He was dissatisfied with 90%. I don't know what it was later on, but possibly much lower.
John13, it saddening to read your posts, because I know there is a woman somewhere in your locale who would be perfect for you and you've given up.
Thank you for a thought-provoking post, one inspiring to all.
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