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I'm not sure if this is in the right part of the forum, but this seems like a good place to get a wide variety of responses.
I've noticed that a lot of people (on this forum or elsewhere) seem to define success/their personal value in terms of things-- a nice house, a family, a good job, money, travel, etc... this is how consumer society works, and how you measure your status in the capitalist hierarchy.
Some people even seem to feel entitled to everything that life has to offer just because they have a good job/money, or are surprised by their unhappiness when they do get all of these things but it still isn't enough. And if they don't have these things, they complain about how that has sentenced them to a life of despair and misery.
But don't you think a successful life really has more to do with basic human qualities that tend to get thrown by the wayside in favor of a more 'realistic' lifestyle-- things like perspective, creativity, love, conscience, virtue etc.? I mean, the great intangible qualities that the consumer lifestyle promises you through products, but which are actually free if you just let yourself feel that way?
I'm interested in hearing what others think about this.
Until a person can be sure that the basic neccessities of life are taken care of -- decent shelter, enough food, access to medical care, regular employment, physical safety where they live, a bit of cash for fun and enjoyment ( bread, but roses too), and a loving relationship -- I don't think they can devote too much time to "perspective, creativity, love, conscience, and virtue."
In most of the world, those things, sadly, are a luxury too often reserved for the rich. The problem is that in the U.S., where most of us have most of the necessitites, we do forget about "higher" things in life, either because we never cared in the first place -- or we're just too damn tired from working at the end of the day!
A successful life, in my opinion is being happy and at peace with oneself.
At least that is what I am striving for in life. I grew up in a stable house old. Financially well off, with loving parents, and just an all around good life. I still live with my mother now, and I am not quite happy. I am in school and seeking part time employment but I am not necessarily getting a sense of joy from that either. I only want those two main things in life, because I really think those are the crucial things one person needs to be happy.
Of course in the US it doesn't hurt to have a nice career, financially well off, and be able to take care of yourself, but it doesn't necessarily make a person happy, it can provide security.
I know a guy who has it all, the only thing he doesn't have is girlfriend. He is so miserable because he feels he will not find anyone to share all those things with. I don't think happiness is in companionship, not completely, it's just icing on the cake. To be truly happy you must be at peace and happy with yourself first. I am striving for that now as we speak. I hope I find the answers that I am looking for soon, and keep learning new things in the process.
Here's the (most-beautiful) thing: Each of us gets to define our own 'victory-conditions'.
Back in the day, in the American Deep South, I beat the h*ll out of a group of smug, "nobody's-better-than-us" folks. How? By defining and applying my own rules I won a national competition that was important to them. I did it, not BECAUSE of them, but IN SPITE OF them. On the day I was announced as the national winner, you should have seen the looks on their faces. They actually had to suck it up, and acknowledge/PRAISE me - a no-good-nik outsider - because I brought the National title home to them.
I really loved the part where they had to tacitly acknowledge one simple fact -- though they would NEVER have allowed me to win any of their stupid local competitions, I still won the NATIONALS!
(Yes, I'm still thumbing my nose at them. Yes, from here forward, I promise never to bring it up again!)
-- Nighteyes
Last edited by Nighteyes; 05-01-2014 at 07:06 PM..
I'm not sure if this is in the right part of the forum, but this seems like a good place to get a wide variety of responses.
I've noticed that a lot of people (on this forum or elsewhere) seem to define success/their personal value in terms of things-- a nice house, a family, a good job, money, travel, etc... this is how consumer society works, and how you measure your status in the capitalist hierarchy.
Some people even seem to feel entitled to everything that life has to offer just because they have a good job/money, or are surprised by their unhappiness when they do get all of these things but it still isn't enough. And if they don't have these things, they complain about how that has sentenced them to a life of despair and misery.
But don't you think a successful life really has more to do with basic human qualities that tend to get thrown by the wayside in favor of a more 'realistic' lifestyle-- things like perspective, creativity, love, conscience, virtue etc.? I mean, the great intangible qualities that the consumer lifestyle promises you through products, but which are actually free if you just let yourself feel that way?
I'm interested in hearing what others think about this.
In my opinion life success would mean feeling that one is content with what they have and feels they have a purpose in life they are pursuing.
Success is being able to do what you want, when you want to do it and with the people you want to do it with.
Happiness is being around people that you care for and care for you.
The rest is just staying alive while you are forced to work for the man because you were not born into a stable, sober, sane and wealthy family.
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