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If women would realize that much of their own romantic unhappiness is self-inflicted, that it's not largely because they are unlucky or men 'suck' or are bad (like Elliot Rodger), then they might be more willing to change. I think women's style (hair, makeup, and clothing) could most easily shift, if men could successfully communicate how they want women to style themselves.
We're at an impasse then, because women won't change their standards either, and why should they? You don't expect men to, and they're the ones who feel like they are missing out on something. If they don't like how things are for them, they can adjust, rather than sitting back and expecting others to do it for them.
The people who feel they miss out will change. If a fat woman believes she'll more dates if she's thinner or dresses differently, she'll make changes. Otherwise she won't. She's not the one who dislikes how she dresses or looks, so why should she be the one to change?
It goes against everybody's instincts to change something that is not a problem for them, just because someone else doesn't like it.
I'd rep you but I have to spread some around.
The person who needs to change is the person who doesn't like the way things are. The person who isn't complaining has no reason to change for the one doing the complaining.
If women would realize that much of their own romantic unhappiness is self-inflicted, that it's not largely because they are unlucky or men 'suck' or are bad (like Elliot Rodger), then they might be more willing to change. I think women's style (hair, makeup, and clothing) could most easily shift, if men could successfully communicate how they want women to style themselves.
Seriously? We need to style ourselves? I'd rather be single than spend the rest of my life living up to someone else's standards.
I'm coming to the conclusion that he doesn't care, and in fact is well aware of the reaction his posts will get.
Yup. To the person who wants the change goes the effort of making the change. You can tell others to change for you all you want but they're not going to.
He's got somewhat of a point. If all the men available to you were awful you might not be so happy either. This has been happening with my single over forty woman friends. After a while they start to get too frustrated, with men who don't even try. Don't blame the women for being old, these older guys don't put in effort for anyone. Or if they are trying, its to be as gross as possible but it's more just apathy. It's almost hard not to take it personally.
Elliot Rodger couldn't be helped, it was his issues, personality, character. That guy could have gotten dates if he was a decent normal guy. I think there are just many socially, physically and emotionally ignorant and awkward people out there and no one is motivating them to change or even recognize that it is having bad effects. They are all snowflaykes just being themselves.
We do need to personally interact more and to want to do that. Men and women of all ages could put in more effort to be better for themselves and also for society, you can achieve both at the same time. So if you take decent care of yourself and it makes guys happy too, so what, you will probably enjoy it and then everyone's happy.
If women would realize that much of their own romantic unhappiness is self-inflicted, that it's not largely because they are unlucky or men 'suck' or are bad (like Elliot Rodger), then they might be more willing to change. I think women's style (hair, makeup, and clothing) could most easily shift, if men could successfully communicate how they want women to style themselves.
How would you like to see women change style-wise? A lot of guys seem to like the Kardashian bimbo look and say traditionally pretty women are just cute, but not hot or sexy. If you are expected to look like a porn bimbo and that is what is considered feminine, maybe women who don't want that stop trying since they are not considered sexy otherwise.
Men and women of all ages could put in more effort to be better for themselves and also for society, you can achieve both at the same time. So if you take decent care of yourself and it makes guys happy too, so what, you will probably enjoy it and then everyone's happy.
But this is redundant advice, because most of us, if we experience a lack of something, will change ourselves and improve ourselves, for our own sake. There is no shortage of information out there which tells women that if they look prettier and act more pleasant (in whatever form that may take) then they'll attract more male attention. Those women who want more attention (they feel they are missing out) will take action.
What is a problem is when a woman is fine with how she is, has decided that she likes her style, changing isn't worth the bother or maybe she's simply awesome as-is and is happy. But she's told, not so fast. Nobody cares if she's actually happy with how she is—that's not her decision to make. She needs to change because some guys out there aren't getting the sex they'd like, and because they find her repellant as she is right now, she must take action. They've decided they need more warm bodies in the "would have sex with" column, and she's been drafted. She must change herself to fit their ideal. It's her duty.
But this is redundant advice, because most of us, if we experience a lack of something, will change ourselves and improve ourselves, for our own sake. There is no shortage of information out there which tells women that if they look prettier and act more pleasant (in whatever form that may take) then they'll attract more male attention. Those women who want more attention (they feel they are missing out) will take action.
What is a problem is when a woman is fine with how she is, has decided that she likes her style, changing isn't worth the bother or maybe she's simply awesome as-is and is happy. But she's told, not so fast. Nobody cares if she's actually happy with how she is—that's not her decision to make. She needs to change because some guys out there aren't getting the sex they'd like, and because they find her repellant as she is right now, she must take action. They've decided they need more warm bodies in the "would have sex with" column, and she's been drafted. She must change herself to fit their ideal. It's her duty.
Yup. If what we're doing doesn't yield the results we want, we change it. We do, however, decide how much change we'll tolerate to get what we want. I might change a hair style and wear more/less make up but that's where I'd draw the line. IMO, if I have to do more than minor changes for some guy, he's just too picky for me.
Yup. If what we're doing doesn't yield the results we want, we change it. We do, however, decide how much change we'll tolerate to get what we want. I might change a hair style and wear more/less make up but that's where I'd draw the line. IMO, if I have to do more than minor changes for some guy, he's just too picky for me.
Same with me regarding women .
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She must change herself to fit their ideal. It's her duty.
