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Not one solitary thing here "keeps me going or motivates me".
Not one thing....but, while I am here...
To learn more and more about the Creator, the Divine and how things work...
here or anywhere for eternity...self-realization, God-realization, probably said simply;
To work with the Spiritual Universal Laws and to apply them 'here'...trumping all
limitations in this third dimension...so to hook up with God given power, ultimately
to remain consistently in Divine Love. (Same thing said in different ways.)
I'm just an ornery old goat that does not want to let anyone have the pleasure of watching me get buried. I'm intent to make the world put up with me as long as possible.
I live simply because I have two sons. I grew up without a father, and it was a miserable existence. I don't want my kids to have to deal with the same things I did.
Otherwise, I feel as if I really have no reason to live at this point.
I live simply because I have two sons. I grew up without a father, and it was a miserable existence. I don't want my kids to have to deal with the same things I did.
Otherwise, I feel as if I really have no reason to live at this point.
No friends? No enjoyable hobbies? No impulse to be of service to others?
No friends? No enjoyable hobbies? No impulse to be of service to others?
Don't you want to have those things too?
You'd think I would, Zen.........I have some friends, and some hobbies. But the miserable, loveless, sexless marriage I am in (and the way I feel stuck as a result) has kind of taken my will. I'm kind of geographically isolated and don't have a lot of time because I'm working all the time.
Oh......and I am also (physically) ill.
I try to be of service to others. I have been involved in everything from coaching sports to mentoring young fathers to holding sick premature babies. When I did those things, I felt so good because I felt I was doing things for people who needed me.
I don't know why, but I just don't have much motivation to stay alive.
You'd think I would, Zen.........I have some friends, and some hobbies. But the miserable, loveless, sexless marriage I am in (and the way I feel stuck as a result) has kind of taken my will. I'm kind of geographically isolated and don't have a lot of time because I'm working all the time.
Oh......and I am also (physically) ill.
I try to be of service to others. I have been involved in everything from coaching sports to mentoring young fathers to holding sick premature babies. When I did those things, I felt so good because I felt I was doing things for people who needed me.
I don't know why, but I just don't have much motivation to stay alive.
Dude, I think it's time to see a therapist. You sound like every depressed person I've ever known. And as the result of an unhappy marriage, I can assure you that your happiness is important not only for your wellbeing but for the wellbeing of your sons.
You're a good guy. You don't deserve to be in the depression pit. And your kids deserve a happy father. They deserve to know who you really are, ya know?
I don't really look at it as "What keeps me going" - when I was severely depressed mostly what kept me going was the knowledge that I would cause my family endless grief if I offed myself. But I haven't been that bad in a long time.
But these days, I just have learned to appreciate the little things. There's always a at least a nugget of awesome buried somewhere in my day. I have friends, dogs, hobbies, a house and the freedom to just pick up and go if I need to. And I make enough to pay for a reasonably comfortable life.
It could all go to hell tomorrow (that could happen to anyone), but I'm going to enjoy it all as much as I can.
But I have reasonable skills, I have love in my life, I live in a developed country, I have decent health, I have all the creature comforts. What can I complain about?
Dude, I think it's time to see a therapist. You sound like every depressed person I've ever known. And as the result of an unhappy marriage, I can assure you that your happiness is important not only for your wellbeing but for the wellbeing of your sons.
You're a good guy. You don't deserve to be in the depression pit. And your kids deserve a happy father. They deserve to know who you really are, ya know?
Thank you. I've been in and out of therapy for a while. I haven't seen one since three years ago though. I have to find another one. And that's a lot harder than it seems.
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