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I won't go into details, but I have seem myself slowly evolving into a person I don't want to be, and feel overwhelming guilt and shame about some of the things I have been doing and ways I have let people down. NOthing super serious like a lot of people might think. I have been increasingly lying to people about many things. I feels like it is getting worse and harder to control it. I question my judgement. I just lied about a degree to get a new job in a different field (still in shock I did it), and then got caught in a web of my own lies and had to leave my previous employer after only 3 weeks without a 2 weeks notice. I feel like a fraud. I also lost a cat from a shelter that I fostered, and didn't act like I cared and lied about that also. I just want to make things better with the world somehow and make up for it. I want to be a better person. How can I make myself feel better and make things up? I feel like if my family knew some of the things I did, they would be ashamed and disappointed.
You already have one of the best building blocks for change: A Conscience. There is hope for you. It is the ones who repeatedly mess up and then blame everyone else that there's no hope for.
This may sound strange, but take time and slow down and think. Plan. If necessary, 'fess up, but only to those who might have been affected by your actions. Seek guidance from someone you truly admire. Whatever you do, please don't let regret consume your life. You've heard it all your life, but yes, we do all make mistakes. I don't know your reasons for doing what you did, but you do. Changing these behaviors takes some soul searching and prioritizing the important things.
Mistakes are how we learn, and boy is it a tough lesson sometimes. The key is to not continue to do these things. You are so very much on the right track. I wish you success, and peace.
Tell everyone you have been lying and tell them the truth. If you are honest with people, you may find a couple who like you for who you really are! There is nothing better than having someone like you "asis"!
As they say, a friend is someone who knows all about you, and still likes you!
sounds like you are acting out for attention, tho its negative attention-and then you can look in the mirror and validate what a low life you are
- sounds like you got put down somewhere along the line, and you want to prove them right
however
whats done is done
think of tomorrow as a blank canvas of a day, a brand new day - and you get to paint that picture with your actions- and they will be honest actions, no more deceit
and then all you have to do is take the first actions with exuberance and ambition-smile, hold your head high
be proud of who you are - you now have integrity and character
look thru the windshield of life,,,,,not thru the rearview mirror
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