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Doll Eyes, I wish I could answer you. I fought for several years to prevent my son from committing suicide then just when I thought he was going to make it he did it. That was five months ago yesterday. I was expecting to see him in a day or two and he was to meet his mother that morning at the airport. He didn't show. I had plans for him to get him past his anxiety and depression (if that is truly what he was suffering). Whatever it was he called it a 'monster inside him'.
OK, that's the background. I don't know what to feel about his choice. I am now suffering his pain in the form of my grief. Would I want him to have continuing suffering his pain if it was anything like mine? No I would not! But my grief goes deeper than his death. I grieve the pain he suffered - all the disappointments in his life, the distress during his childhood, the mistakes I made (and there were a few), not having done enough for him (I did make an effort, but I could have done more). I so regret not having been there for him during that last week of his life when stress and anxiety got the better of him. I will tell you unashamedly that I have been crying for him every single day for the last five months and I am crying right now as I write. I keep asking myself why he had to suffer so much in his life. I so wanted for him to be happy and content. I did have hope for him. He just couldn't make it through that last night.
So was it possible for him to not commit suicide? Yes it was. It would have hurt him for sure but had he not had the means at the time he would have survived and I am convinced he would now be well into his recovery. That actually adds to my pain. Is it possible for another person with no apparent hope to not commit suicide? I don't know. I wish it were possible but to ask someone to continue to suffer their pain? So that the one's who loved them can be spared their pain?
You have to start by changing your reaction to your thoughts. And finding a reason to live. And find a purpose for your life. And getting out of your house and being out in the world - in nature, trees, grass, a lake, fresh air, sunshine, etc.
Doll Eyes, I wish I could answer you. I fought for several years to prevent my son from committing suicide then just when I thought he was going to make it he did it. That was five months ago yesterday. I was expecting to see him in a day or two and he was to meet his mother that morning at the airport. He didn't show. I had plans for him to get him past his anxiety and depression (if that is truly what he was suffering). Whatever it was he called it a 'monster inside him'.
OK, that's the background. I don't know what to feel about his choice. I am now suffering his pain in the form of my grief. Would I want him to have continuing suffering his pain if it was anything like mine? No I would not! But my grief goes deeper than his death. I grieve the pain he suffered - all the disappointments in his life, the distress during his childhood, the mistakes I made (and there were a few), not having done enough for him (I did make an effort, but I could have done more). I so regret not having been there for him during that last week of his life when stress and anxiety got the better of him. I will tell you unashamedly that I have been crying for him every single day for the last five months and I am crying right now as I write. I keep asking myself why he had to suffer so much in his life. I so wanted for him to be happy and content. I did have hope for him. He just couldn't make it through that last night.
So was it possible for him to not commit suicide? Yes it was. It would have hurt him for sure but had he not had the means at the time he would have survived and I am convinced he would now be well into his recovery. That actually adds to my pain. Is it possible for another person with no apparent hope to not commit suicide? I don't know. I wish it were possible but to ask someone to continue to suffer their pain? So that the one's who loved them can be spared their pain?
Just wanted to say...my condolences. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. A major reason I've never seriously considered suicide is that I don't want to make my family hurt in a way similar to what you describe. Logically and many times emotionally I have/have had no problem with the idea of offing myself, but I don't exist in a vacuum....
By supplying the little vague testimony of my own that I did, I do not at all mean to imply that I consider your son's decision selfish or condemnable or what have you--I just feel for what you've gone through and continue to go through
As for the OP, I don't know enough about the specifics of your situation to say anything. I have no problem with suicide per se but I don't ever feel comfortable promoting it in specific cases...well, unless I'm drunk and exhorting the species to collectively kill ourselves, as Thomas Ligotti would envision (a vision with which I am somewhat sympathetic regardless of sobriety level)
Last edited by Matt Marcinkiewicz; 06-15-2014 at 06:33 AM..
Doll Eyes, I wish I could answer you. I fought for several years to prevent my son from committing suicide then just when I thought he was going to make it he did it. That was five months ago yesterday. I was expecting to see him in a day or two and he was to meet his mother that morning at the airport. He didn't show. I had plans for him to get him past his anxiety and depression (if that is truly what he was suffering). Whatever it was he called it a 'monster inside him'.
OK, that's the background. I don't know what to feel about his choice. I am now suffering his pain in the form of my grief. Would I want him to have continuing suffering his pain if it was anything like mine? No I would not! But my grief goes deeper than his death. I grieve the pain he suffered - all the disappointments in his life, the distress during his childhood, the mistakes I made (and there were a few), not having done enough for him (I did make an effort, but I could have done more). I so regret not having been there for him during that last week of his life when stress and anxiety got the better of him. I will tell you unashamedly that I have been crying for him every single day for the last five months and I am crying right now as I write. I keep asking myself why he had to suffer so much in his life. I so wanted for him to be happy and content. I did have hope for him. He just couldn't make it through that last night.
So was it possible for him to not commit suicide? Yes it was. It would have hurt him for sure but had he not had the means at the time he would have survived and I am convinced he would now be well into his recovery. That actually adds to my pain. Is it possible for another person with no apparent hope to not commit suicide? I don't know. I wish it were possible but to ask someone to continue to suffer their pain? So that the one's who loved them can be spared their pain?
How is it possible not to commit suicide? If your mind tell you one thing but society tells you another.
I'm a proponent for Dr. Kevorkian's ideals, which may be a bit morbid but when looking at reality as a whole- overpopulation is an issue.
The young young and old old generations are now finding that they are having to co-exist on a planet that's taken a toll on how much we rely on its resources in order to survive.
I believe when someone is at a point in their life if they are dying due to cancer, disease, old age and are ready to leave this world, why not give them to right to do so if the act is done consciously with thought and within reason (not out of irrationality)? Conscious choice for death to me makes a lot more sense when someone is prepared to die and wants to die gracefully and peacefully from this earth.
I don't understand the question. Consider three premises that are contained in the OP:
1. Suicide is wrong.
2. Your mind tells you one thing.
3. Society tells you another.
Before I can discuss this, I need a more thorough explanation of those three premises.
What is the definition of "wrong" in the first statement?
It seems to me that the instinct to survive is so powerfully dominant, that what your inner-mind tells you is "Do not die", and your instinct overrides your mind if you don't protect your body from dying.
Society then agrees with the instinct, making a powerful set of rules to reinforce the natural drive to survive, so in fact Society is concurring with the inner, nature-driven mind, and has made rules to intercede against those who might deviate.
If suicide were, in fact, something that the conscious mind could easily tell you to do, overcoming survival instinct, there would be no such thing as torture, slavery, concentration camps. People would just say "Well, this turned out badly, I'll just move on to whatever comes next." But it doesn't work that way.
There are a million things to do before attempting that.
Look in the mirror and think all of things you can do, want to do, and shall do. Everybody is different.
Where to go, where to go, who to screw, who to screw.........
Life is awesome, life is great, just think, of all the oodles of joy we can enjoy in this world.
That is not the mind/brain/spirit that is the devil, messing with you. The devil ( representation of negative forces, etc ) wants people to self-destruct and fail, but what people do not realize the human body can output an amazing amount of energy, to keep moving
Sometimes in life you just have not to care about negatives around you and push forward. Ignorance is bliss.
I don't understand the question. Consider three premises that are contained in the OP:
1. Suicide is wrong.
2. Your mind tells you one thing.
3. Society tells you another.
Before I can discuss this, I need a more thorough explanation of those three premises.
What is the definition of "wrong" in the first statement?
It seems to me that the instinct to survive is so powerfully dominant, that what your inner-mind tells you is "Do not die", and your instinct overrides your mind if you don't protect your body from dying.
Society then agrees with the instinct, making a powerful set of rules to reinforce the natural drive to survive, so in fact Society is concurring with the inner, nature-driven mind, and has made rules to intercede against those who might deviate.
If suicide were, in fact, something that the conscious mind could easily tell you to do, overcoming survival instinct, there would be no such thing as torture, slavery, concentration camps. People would just say "Well, this turned out badly, I'll just move on to whatever comes next." But it doesn't work that way.
"Wrong" as in their are supposedly other options and suicide the worst option. That is what society says about it. They claim there's all these answers to your problems and suicide isn't one of them.
I figure the majority of people must have some kind of survival instinct which is why you said as a society they are just going off of what nature tells them. But there must be some people born with a weakened survival instinct. Maybe 303 Guy's son wanted to live sometimes but couldn't control his thoughts like so many claim he's supposed to be able to do.
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My condolences.
