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Not sure if the title I chose is accurate or if I'm posting in the right sub.
As of late, I've been getting into quite a few arguments with my parents and they all boil down to my lack of "dreams" and "motivation". I, of course, disagree in the sense that I'm rather motivated, but only in the shallowest ways possible. (i.e. I did well in school not because I want to learn, but because I need to get a job. Why do I want a job? Because I need money to survive and I want to keep my current comfortable standard of living and play copious amounts of video games and watch anime (basically immerse myself with escapist mediums).
Thusly, I spend most of my free time playing video games or watching anime. I know in my head, that this cycle of escapism will not last but I just don't seem to find any interest in other things. I don't like sports, reading bores me now, and work is mind-numbingly boring atm.
I used to play piano, but after starting college, I stopped playing for the most part because there was no reason for me to play anymore. I mean I like music, and I like the idea of being able to crank out some ragtime or Ballades but I just can't find the motivation or drive to put in the work (basically my internal Cost-Benefit calculator tells me to "**** it").
Same with art, I used to paint and now I can't be bothered.
That's a toughie. I do think your parents are right to be concerned. I assume you are in your late teens or early 20s. At that age, you should be developing a skillset to help you become a healthy, well-adjusted adult with a good chance of happiness in life. Instead you are hiding away from life and prefer to live in a make believe world. You've stopped growing.
What makes you laugh? In what situations are you having fun? What do you enjoy about video games that could be translated into activities in real life? For example, if you enjoy adventure games, then saving up to travel to interesting exotic places might become a goal.
Edited to add: You mention lack of drive. Perhaps you have low energy because of a medical problem e.g. low in iron. Also, are you at a normal weight and do you exercise (both will increase energy)?
That's a toughie. I do think your parents are right to be concerned. I assume you are in your late teens or early 20s. At that age, you should be developing a skillset to help you become a healthy, well-adjusted adult with a good chance of happiness in life. Instead you are hiding away from life and prefer to live in a make believe world. You've stopped growing.
What makes you laugh? In what situations are you having fun? What do you enjoy about video games that could be translated into activities in real life? For example, if you enjoy adventure games, then saving up to travel to interesting exotic places might become a goal.
Edited to add: You mention lack of drive. Perhaps you have low energy because of a medical problem e.g. low in iron. Also, are you at a normal weight and do you exercise (both will increase energy)?
I'm 22. I just graduated college with an accounting degree. Missed a few opportunities for good internships so I took a Jr. Staff position right out of school. Pay is on the low end, but I'm working on getting my CPA to fix that (hopefully) so I would like to think I'm working on a skillset.
Black comedy makes me laugh. Of the top of my head, one of the reasons I play so many video games is that my friends and I are quite busy (my oldest/closest one didn't go to the same college as I) so with what little free time I have after work and him after class we play multiplayer games.
In particular, Starcraft 2 ( a very competative Strategy game) and DayZ, an open world "Mad Max/The Road" type zombie game. I guess we play both because of the "social" experience that we get from playing with our various skype/online buddies. Our Starcraft 2 practice sessions have the improvement and fun atmosphere as some IRL sports I guess, w/o all the physical exhaustion. DayZ is nice because of the massive rush of adrenaline of possibly losing days of progress in a single moment/firefight so frankly, I'm unsure how this is going to translate into real life.
I'm 5'11, floating somewhere between 138-145, so I think I'm normal weight. Because I loathe excercise, I try to keep myself on 2 meals a day.
I'm kinda the same way, but I'm about 10 years older.
When I was your age I had passion for music, but didn't have a job. I wrote, recorded and performed my own material, but now I find it very difficult to do that. I have so many other interests (and responsibilities) and when I get home from work, I primarily just want to relax.
But enough about me...
Ironically, you have a job and are working to get a better one. You have hobbies and seem to be floating along quite nicely.
I'm assuming you're still living at home? Maybe your parents just want you to move out?
You don't have to play sports or do what "society" says is normal, but you should try to be happy in whatever it is you want to do.
(i.e. I did well in school not because I want to learn, but because I need to get a job. Why do I want a job? Because I need money to survive and I want to keep my current comfortable standard of living and play copious amounts of video games and watch anime (basically immerse myself with escapist mediums).
That's pretty much my mindset as well. I've never had any lofty dreams or passions - Just a plain realistic need to have a job, money, and live a comfortable (for me) existence. I used to draw when I was younger, but I don't anymore. People grow up and sometimes lose interest in things they used to like. It happens.
I wouldn't really worry about it unless it started to affect your everyday life.
This really doesn't sound like what I'd consider escapism. Escapism would usually involve something fun and maybe even exciting. To be constantly just playing video games and watching anime, which I assume is mostly done at home by yourself, sounds pretty monotonous.
I suppose if you're stuck you could try blaming your parents for your lack of motivation, because often they're the ones that instill interests in their kids. But on the other hand, most people get interested in something along the way. Especially in college, where part of the point use to be to get an education, and ideally an education would expose you to different things, as well as different people.
You probably won't develop a passion via anime and video games. Reading is a good way to launch out, and if it's boring you, my guess is that you're reading the wrong books. Maybe an easy way to start would be to join a book club. That would at least be a low-key way to get you mixing with some new people. I can't tell from your post whether your particular job bores you, or your entire field bores you, but maybe a little more education is in order.
Not sure if the title I chose is accurate or if I'm posting in the right sub.
As of late, I've been getting into quite a few arguments with my parents and they all boil down to my lack of "dreams" and "motivation". I, of course, disagree in the sense that I'm rather motivated, but only in the shallowest ways possible. (i.e. I did well in school not because I want to learn, but because I need to get a job. Why do I want a job? Because I need money to survive and I want to keep my current comfortable standard of living and play copious amounts of video games and watch anime (basically immerse myself with escapist mediums).
Thusly, I spend most of my free time playing video games or watching anime. I know in my head, that this cycle of escapism will not last but I just don't seem to find any interest in other things. I don't like sports, reading bores me now, and work is mind-numbingly boring atm.
I used to play piano, but after starting college, I stopped playing for the most part because there was no reason for me to play anymore. I mean I like music, and I like the idea of being able to crank out some ragtime or Ballades but I just can't find the motivation or drive to put in the work (basically my internal Cost-Benefit calculator tells me to "**** it").
Same with art, I used to paint and now I can't be bothered.
Any advice?
Passion is whats in you , the thing you go for. the thing you crave and desire to do. I just saw a movie about some guys that were into movie monsters and they were really fans of it. this was even up to age 16, well they got the opportunity to meet some of their special effects heros and they get a job from it, and a career and now after like 40 years, they still love it. it was a cool movie! their passion was movie monsters and special effects and they would have had to force themselves to stop.
i think you find your passion by accident, when you realize when your doing something, you love it. when you have passion about something, time goes by real fast, your so absorbed into it. it maybe something little, but you find yourself seeking it out naturally. it is where you spend your time.
you just have to think about it, and maybe even write down your thoughts and one day voila you will realize that you have found it.
now, there are times that you have to be practical and work to support your passions, so thats why you cant just sit around goofing off. unless maybe some of the goofing off leads to a useful job for example. but you still have to support yourself haha.
so if you can work, but also find your passion, or maybe make your passion your work, but im saying you cant ONLY goof off, i mean sometimes I goof off too much and the good day is gone, but eventually next week my passion begins again and im off in my car pursuing what drives me.
so if you passion is computer games, you might have a good career in it. so try to go to some conventions when you can go to like they have Comic Con for comic book enthusiasts, but when you go you meet others who love it and this is how opportunities happen.
lets say you really want to be a video game programmer, developer, artist, whatever, you still have to get some classes in to learn how to do it. even if you have the best talent inside you, you still need to learn skills in order to know how to even work a computer in order to create CGI effex. so take time to get prepared, and maybe you too can have a good job where it wont feel like a job because you are a special effects artist.
This really doesn't sound like what I'd consider escapism. Escapism would usually involve something fun and maybe even exciting. To be constantly just playing video games and watching anime, which I assume is mostly done at home by yourself, sounds pretty monotonous.
I suppose if you're stuck you could try blaming your parents for your lack of motivation, because often they're the ones that instill interests in their kids. But on the other hand, most people get interested in something along the way. Especially in college, where part of the point use to be to get an education, and ideally an education would expose you to different things, as well as different people.
You probably won't develop a passion via anime and video games. Reading is a good way to launch out, and if it's boring you, my guess is that you're reading the wrong books. Maybe an easy way to start would be to join a book club. That would at least be a low-key way to get you mixing with some new people. I can't tell from your post whether your particular job bores you, or your entire field bores you, but maybe a little more education is in order.
Escapism to me is something that takes my mind off of my life in general. In my case, the time I spend with my friends (decade long childhood ones, and new skype buddies) playing games count as that. We shoot the ****, play a Strategy game that is ostensibly about constant improvement and is very competitive. Anime is certainly a solitary activity, but the fantastical nature of the plot and genres allows me to get lost in a different world or at the very least project myself into these fictional protagonists who have things I don't have. Hell, I even get a pale mimicry what having a girlfriend might feel like.
Again, the liberal arts subjects I took in college didn't really "interest" me that much. I did well to boost my GPA. My electives were virtually all job/field related.
I think "books bore me" was the wrong way to phrase it. I mean in comparison to all the other "fun" things I do, books pale in comparison. I have to read vs having stories acted out, and displayed to me on a screen. Hell, in video games, I'm part of the story.
My job bores me because its an entry level accounting position. The field admittedly is somewhat boring because I only chose to major in accounting for the career prospects. I originally wanted to major in History...(kinda).
I don't know how someone can deliberately develop a passion, any more than you can deliberately decide to fall in love with someone. It's something deep inside you that either catches fire and burns like the sun, or... it just doesn't. It's a hard question for me to answer, because I've never known a time in my life when I wasn't deeply passionate about something - usually several somethings. It just comes naturally to me; I'm a really intense, passionate person.
There are two things I find interesting about your post. First of all, you seem to imply that there was a time in your life when you did feel moved by certain things (reading, playing the piano), but no longer do. That, plus some of the language that you use, combine to make me wonder if perhaps you're not depressed to some degree. Have you considered that possibility?
Aside from that, though, I disagree with some of the other posters here - I think that immersing yourself in video games and living your life through them is very unhealthy, and I think that may be a big part of the problem. That stuff is ten times worse than TV; it sucks the brain right out of your head, and replaces living an exciting life with the illusion of living an exciting life. No offense, but I think there's a good chance that if you dump that crap for a month and spend the time getting outside and interacting with other living human beings, you might start to feel some sparks of passion catch fire and start to burn a bit. Worth a try, anyway. What have you got to lose?
At any rate, good luck with it. It's painful to imagine what it would be like living without passion; I hope you're able to find a way to ignite some in your life.
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