Yelping is bad for the psyche. Two stars. (woman, mom, problems)
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I just spent something like four hours writing reviews on Yelp. And then I closed my account! I hate the burden of judging an entire business on a few experiences. It seems unfair. And then you're thrown into this realm of cattiness...wittiness...trying to look cool and 'sexy'. It's too much to make a 1-5 star decision on. I'm too thoughtful to be able to boil it down into a published review. People are not always feeling the same, day to day, and thus, neither is their output. In my mind, an entire business created and run by people is something too malleable, and too varying to justify a review. There are so many factors to consider; no matter how much thought I put into a Yelp review, I will have missed something, or said something wrong. In any case, it's very time consuming, and if it's a less than glowing review, feelings will inevitably be hurt. Someone will end up disliking me. Sometimes, my output isn't stellar, either. I don't think i'd be able to take the kind of negative feedback I dole out. I can never know the whole story. And then, there are fellow Yelp people who I really dislike. Some people on there are dumb and/or mean in my opinion. They are probably people kind of unhappy in their lives, with not much better to do than sit behind a computer, in anonymity, doling out criticism. I've done that too. There's a real bitterness inherent in that.
My opinion is just an opinion, and in a week I could easily change it wholly based on the next experience. To feel the need to edit a review every time I go back and spend more money at an establishment is too large a demand on my time. That, or I feel guilt that my review doesn't reflect what is correct well enough.
In the past I've justified writing reviews because they might help others in making better purchasing decisions, but even when I spent dozens of hours honing my reviews to perfection, I wasn't even sure if other people were reading and appreciating them.
There's also an element of narcissism. Telling the world where we went, what we experienced...a review is often just a guise for getting the story of our experience out there, in strange hope that others will identify and like us. It's an excuse to look clever, too. More for themselves than for other consumers. I'm not saying that's what I've done, but I think that application of it is very tempting.
In any case, overall I find it to do more harm than good, largely to my psyche.
I've always said that in addition to "useful," "funny," and "cool," they need "unfunny," "smug" and "hipster."
I used to post on Yelp frequently and was an "elite" member years running, but then I tired of it. I got sick of seeing businesses that I frequented where I knew the staff and/or owners to be genuinely great people that provided a great service get one star and a totally BS review because of inconsequential or made-up stuff, seeing people act like divas and as though they were Elizabeth Taylor, when they were reviewing a mom and pop taqueria. Acting like they were the final authority on certain types of "authentic" cuisine when they were actually just being contrary and smarmy.
I also started running a business, and had people basically try to extort me by threatening to lie about everything if I didn't comp them, give them free stuff, etc. I would give people top service, then they'd come in and writer a totally self-serving piece just for the sake of it. Nine times out of ten, when I contacted them, they'd take it down; they somehow never expected to be confronted on their BS. When I compkained to yelp, they basically told me they couldn't do anything about it but told me if I paid for a preferred package the bad reviews would get buried. I ended up comping drinks for a few of their people (this was in SF) and then they gave our business a free preferred account, but what about businesses in other cities who couldn't do so?
I love Yelp. Seems to me the issue is with you, not Yelp. It's never occurred to me to try to be witty or catty or anything in a review. I don't even really edit them. I only write it if I feel I have something helpful to add to what's already there, and if I feel I have enough experience with the business to judge. Perhaps if you'd attempted to write accurately and truthfully instead of turning it into a creative writing exercise you wouldn't have been so annoyed by your own attempts.
I love Yelp. Seems to me the issue is with you, not Yelp. It's never occurred to me to try to be witty or catty or anything in a review. I don't even really edit them. I only write it if I feel I have something helpful to add to what's already there, and if I feel I have enough experience with the business to judge. Perhaps if you'd attempted to write accurately and truthfully instead of turning it into a creative writing exercise you wouldn't have been so annoyed by your own attempts.
I agree wholeheartedly.
OP, you seem to forget that Yelp works because your review is one of hundreds or thousands. You are assigning entirely to much importance to that one review of yours.
As a user, I can easily tell when a negative review is written by someone who will have problems most everywhere they go. You can tell by the things they choose to attack at an otherwise stellar business. People's personal problems always show through in the way they write and what they choose to write. If a business truly is great, the positive reviews will always outnumber the negative.
Based on this and your previous post here, I'd say stepping away fro the navel-gazing and online life in general would be better for your psyche.
I've always said that in addition to "useful," "funny," and "cool," they need "unfunny," "smug" and "hipster."
I used to post on Yelp frequently and was an "elite" member years running, but then I tired of it. I got sick of seeing businesses that I frequented where I knew the staff and/or owners to be genuinely great people that provided a great service get one star and a totally BS review because of inconsequential or made-up stuff, seeing people act like divas and as though they were Elizabeth Taylor, when they were reviewing a mom and pop taqueria. Acting like they were the final authority on certain types of "authentic" cuisine when they were actually just being contrary and smarmy.
I also started running a business, and had people basically try to extort me by threatening to lie about everything if I didn't comp them, give them free stuff, etc. I would give people top service, then they'd come in and writer a totally self-serving piece just for the sake of it. Nine times out of ten, when I contacted them, they'd take it down; they somehow never expected to be confronted on their BS. When I compkained to yelp, they basically told me they couldn't do anything about it but told me if I paid for a preferred package the bad reviews would get buried. I ended up comping drinks for a few of their people (this was in SF) and then they gave our business a free preferred account, but what about businesses in other cities who couldn't do so?
Not a big fan of the service overall.
Wow. That's hard to believe. Sleazy of Yelp. But see, it really is complicated stuff. I know writing reviews helps a lot of people if it's an accurate portrayal, but it's not a good feeling to walk around town knowing the people who I wrote bad reviews for will recognize me.
I love Yelp. Seems to me the issue is with you, not Yelp. It's never occurred to me to try to be witty or catty or anything in a review. I don't even really edit them. I only write it if I feel I have something helpful to add to what's already there, and if I feel I have enough experience with the business to judge. Perhaps if you'd attempted to write accurately and truthfully instead of turning it into a creative writing exercise you wouldn't have been so annoyed by your own attempts.
I never said I turn it into a creative writing exercise. I wrote honest reviews for years. No poetry or any of that crap. The thing is the guilt/burden which one carries after having written all those reviews. Knowing they affect businesses. You have to be pretty ruthless to write bad reviews about people's operations in your own town without guilt. I admire that, because it helps others, but it's hard to do it yourself. Catch my drift?
OP, you seem to forget that Yelp works because your review is one of hundreds or thousands. You are assigning entirely to much importance to that one review of yours.
As a user, I can easily tell when a negative review is written by someone who will have problems most everywhere they go. You can tell by the things they choose to attack at an otherwise stellar business. People's personal problems always show through in the way they write and what they choose to write. If a business truly is great, the positive reviews will always outnumber the negative.
Based on this and your previous post here, I'd say stepping away fro the navel-gazing and online life in general would be better for your psyche.
But even if you are writing honest negative reviews, and don't have problems, it can still have significant effects on business owners. For example, I've been personally contacted several times to remove reviews in the past, though they were fair.
When I compkained to yelp, they basically told me they couldn't do anything about it but told me if I paid for a preferred package the bad reviews would get buried.
Are those the ones that are classified as "not currently recommended" and aren't factored into the average rating? Those are often my favorite reviews to read...especially the ones where people had such a bad experience at a place that they feel compelled to create a Yelp account just to warn people about the establishment in question
I'm not a big fan of Yelp in practice...in theory it's fine by me. I've encountered too many people trying without success to play the role of unparalleled sophisticate, as 415_s2k alluded to
I never said I turn it into a creative writing exercise. I wrote honest reviews for years. No poetry or any of that crap. The thing is the guilt/burden which one carries after having written all those reviews. Knowing they affect businesses. You have to be pretty ruthless to write bad reviews about people's operations in your own town without guilt. I admire that, because it helps others, but it's hard to do it yourself. Catch my drift?
Not really. You were the one who mentioned feeling they had to be witty, not me. I write honest reviews - what I saw, heard, got, etc. If you are honest, then your review will probably not be scathing. For example, if we waited an hour for food at a restaurant, I'd say we waited an hour. But I might also say the food was good and the service was good other than the initial wait. I wouldn't spend my time trying to make exagerated metaphors, like "they must have been growing the vegetables back there, because we waited for an eternity, and I thought I'd pass out from low blood sugar by the time the food arrived." If you are trying to doll your reviews up and have a voice like that, then you aren't being honest or objective anymore, and that's when a business gets a horrid review that it probably really didn't deserve. In many cases it's hard even to tell what the person's actual problem was, because they haven't presented a clear enough picture. Those reviews are useless anyway. I've written very few bad reviews - and only 2 potentially damaging ones. Those were for contractors who, plain and simple, ripped me off and cost me a ton of money, and frankly I hope they do go out of business and I wouldn't feel one bit bad about it.
Not really. You were the one who mentioned feeling they had to be witty, not me. I write honest reviews - what I saw, heard, got, etc. If you are honest, then your review will probably not be scathing. For example, if we waited an hour for food at a restaurant, I'd say we waited an hour. But I might also say the food was good and the service was good other than the initial wait. I wouldn't spend my time trying to make exagerated metaphors, like "they must have been growing the vegetables back there, because we waited for an eternity, and I thought I'd pass out from low blood sugar by the time the food arrived." If you are trying to doll your reviews up and have a voice like that, then you aren't being honest or objective anymore, and that's when a business gets a horrid review that it probably really didn't deserve. In many cases it's hard even to tell what the person's actual problem was, because they haven't presented a clear enough picture. Those reviews are useless anyway. I've written very few bad reviews - and only 2 potentially damaging ones. Those were for contractors who, plain and simple, ripped me off and cost me a ton of money, and frankly I hope they do go out of business and I wouldn't feel one bit bad about it.
Yeah, my reviews were always like yours -- balanced. However, it can be hard to tell the line between nitpicking and presenting useful information. For example, there's this grocery store I went to recently in which I had a question for an employee pushing a trolley of merchandise past me. He was clearly busy, but when are grocers not busy? I said "excuse me" five times, following him a quarter of an aisle, before he paid me any attention. Would it be nitpicking to write this in a review? I can't tell if he was purposely ignoring me, or just had hearing problems. Little things like that make writing a fair review tricky.
Don't think I mentioned this in the first post but Yelp Talk is where Yelpers tend to be a little cruel for the sake of coming off as witty, obnoxious, and a little mean, and talking about sex like they are sex gods is Yelp Talk. People trying way too hard to be cool.
But a lot of reviewers act that way when writing reviews, too. Not me. That actually wasn't relevant...
All I'm trying to say is that it is a burden to be an honest, unbiased reviewer!
For example, recently I went to this nail salon where the woman doing my nails was really nice and had a deep conversation with me (about family roots, what we're doing with our life, etc.). If I am honest in my review about her work being total crap, she is probably going to read that and think "how could she do that, after I treated her so nicely?" It would feel like a bit of a backstab on my part. The nail salon has 4.5 stars on Yelp, and yet I'd give them two stars for the result alone, but if I take into account how they talked to me during the procedure, this would make me feel guilty to rate so low.
And what if I want to give them another chance, say if they have a Groupon, or something? If they read my negative review, I'm sure they'll think very lowly of me and I'd be putting myself at risk of poor treatment (like getting spit in my food) the next time. I've been in that position many times. Sometimes there's a place I gave a low star rating, but my friend really likes it and wants to go there, so I agree, but feel very uncomfortable in there because I'm wondering whether the owners recognize me. I'm sure a lot of businesses do read their Yelp reviews, and are also likely to hold a grudge.
Once I gave a salon two stars, and they invited me back for a free haircut if I'd remove the review, so I did, and the stylist tried harder and was nice but I could tell it was a fake nice.
It's just more complicated than it sounds.
Last edited by supersavina; 07-06-2014 at 09:33 PM..
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