Fear of,flying is ruining my life (mom, college, parent)

[michgc]

I second the suggestion for Ativan. I, too, have a strong fear of flying. Except for one trip, I have not flown in over 13 years. And that one trip was to China! And I only went because I was adopting a child there. And if I could have taken a boat there, I would have! I was a mess for two weeks ahead of time. I was having heart palpitations for several days. And I got so scared I thought I was having a heart attack. Went to the ER, told them what was happening (wasn't having a heart attack!), and they prescribed Ativan to me. They said to take it before the trip when I was nervous and when I was flying. It was great! It calmed me down. I wasn't super brave but I was pretty calm. And the flight was 13 hours! I used it for all my flights in China and for the way home. And that was it. Haven't flown again, but it did the trick when it was necessary! Good luck!

[mading6]

I have flown at least 100 times in my life. On a plane to New York connecting in Houston I got motion sick (took Dramamine as usual but for some reason didn't work, expiration date may have something to do with that) then got the worst anxiety attack of my life. It was a rocky flight. Well imagine an anxiety attack on a plane, there is no where to go. Horrific.

Anywho I refused to get on connecting flight to New York, rented a car and hung out in Austin for a week then drove back home to New Orleans. Yes boyfriend was PO but I just couldn't do it.

I went to an anxiety specialist in Brentwood, when I lived in Los Angeles because I had many flights coming up due to a court case. He prescribed me KLONOPIN ( just enough for plane rides). I didn't care what happened on the plane when I was on klonopin.

The KLONOPIN was to be taken as follows:
when I woke up, then another an hour before flight, then I would take another on flight ( just in case ) My anxiety was so bad one night before the day of my flight that I was in a ball crying and kept saying I refuse to get on the plane. The anxiety was so bad it became physically painful. I had to get myself under control so I had to take a klonopin that night also. They work like a charm!

They are very addictive so he only prescribed them before a flight.

5 years later and I refuse to fly and refuse to take klonopin. I only flew before because I was subpoenaed.

[rbohm]

personally i love flying by the way, i wish i had the money to fly often because i would.

[Echo916]

I'm not quite to that degree, but flying is not my favorite thing -- and I have a bigger issue with flying over water. (I have NO idea what that's about!) But, when I'm on a plane, I simply have to give up control and give it to my higher power. I can't control it, and I will either make it to my destination, or I won't, and I stick my nose in a book and don't think about it. This was a little harder a few years ago when my job required me to go to Europe for a project kick-off meeting. Not only was I going to a foreign country for the first time, and by myself, I had to fly over the ocean!!! It wasn't so bad on the way over as the water part was at night, so I couldn't see it. On the return, however, it was all daytime. I was up for 24 hours before I ever got on the plane to return - and then learned I cannot sleep on plane no matter how tired I am. So, I survived flying over the ocean in the daytime! Perhaps exhaustion helped in that -- too tired to care much, or at least too tired to react!

You might also want to talk to a doctor who does EMDR. (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) This deals with panic, anxiety and PTSD type issues, and works much faster than "talk therapy". It's something to look into.

Good luck, and I wish you safe travels whichever way you choose.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by rbohm

personally i love flying by the way, i wish i had the money to fly often because i would.

So do I! I went from being terrified to wanting to fly more places but I don't have the money.

[WyoNewk]

The fear of flying IS irrational, unless you're in a combat zone or a test pilot. Surely you must know that. You can argue that it's rational, but your arguments are not rational. First you must realize and accept that this IS an irrational fear, then you may be able to conquer that irrational fear to some extent with the help of a professional. Best bet is probably with some medication, but I'd at least talk to a psychiatrist. He/she can then prescribe the med.

My late wife had a fear of flying too. As I was a longtime pilot with my own plane, she wanted to overcome it. She did so and learned to love flying with me in our plane. Part of her problem was turning her life over to someone she didn't know, so I assured her that we'd land immediately if she wanted to. That gave her some control. And yes, she was also afraid to board a bus!

Good luck to you. You need to overcome this for many reasons.

And look at it this way, the drive to the airport will be the most dangerous part of the trip. If you make it to the airport, the most dangerous part is behind you.

[atxcio]

I had a fear of flying for a period in my life. In my 20s-30s mainly, when I was flying regularly for business. Fear of flying can manifest in several different ways, so it helps to figure out which you have. The 3 that come to my mind are:

1 - Vertigo. This is the feeling you may get when on the observation deck of a tall building, or standing very close to the edge of a cliff without a railing. Maybe also when you go up in an elevator. It's a physical feeling, maybe your palms will sweat or your muscles will feel weak. But it's all a physical reaction to your body feeling danger. I had a bit of this, especially with takeoffs. But medication helps in the short term, and repetition made it go away for me.

2 - Fear of death. Or to put it another way, a fear of helplessness/lack of any control that your are certain will result in your death. I know you said you don't have this, but your posts really do seem to indicate that is at least part of what you have. I had that too. That's where you can't rid your mind of constant thoughts of the plane plummeting from the sky, etc. The various mechanical sounds during a flight might scare you. You might have dreams when not on a plane, where you witness a huge plane go down right in front of you. Have you had anything like that? I'm not meaning to scare you more, just to let you know it's common and the manifestations of this fear are actually pretty uniform.

3 - Claustrophobia. I didn't have this, but I know people who have -- they get anxiety attacks about not being able to get out, not having a proper restroom or other things around (sounds silly but it's a real symptom), and having to subject themselves to these fears with absolutely no "out" for hours on end.

Anyway, there are drugs which help with all of these, and your doctor (or a psychiatrist) can give you a prescription. I suggest you mention it to your doctor and try to get some medication. If you don't want to do that, some benadryl and alcohol will help (ever notice how much people drink on planes?). Reading a book, watching some in-flight entertainment, using the wifi, or just chatting with your family will help keep your mind from wandering to it's dark place.

Lots of good suggestions from other posters. Flying lessons are a bit extreme, but things that help you learn about how planes really work can help. Take up R/C airplanes. Read some of the airline forums out there. Replace the images put in your head by sensationalist media with the more mundane and routine (but still amazing) aspects of flight.

For the fear of death/loss of control, I think that receded naturally over time for me. Like the others have said, dying is inevitable. You will truly realize this at some point. Think about all the great things you've been able to experience in your life, and you'll start feeling selfish about worrying about yourself when there are so many others who die every day without a chance to experience life as much as you already have.

The trick to life is to live it without irrational fear. You weren't afraid of flying when you were a child, were you? And it's probably a lot more safe now then it was then. One thing that is certain is that you will not overcome your fear without actually doing some flying. Look at your thread title. Are you really going to let something like this ruin your life? Maybe this trip will "cure" you, or maybe it will be 10 flights from now. But consider this trip a blessing, forcing you to confront something you yourself want to fix.

[Frostnip]

Notwithstanding that fear, the odds of being in an airplane accident are incredibly small. Accidents occur at a rate of one per 1.2 million flights, and the odds of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 11 million [sources: Clarke, Ropeik]. The odds of dying in a car accident are around 1 in 5,000, so you're much more likely to die getting to the airport than you are flying in the plane [source: Ropeik].


But what if you're onboard that 1 in 1.2 million flights that ends up in an accident? Surprisingly, you're much more likely to walk away from an airline accident than you are to perish. In fact, a staggering 95.7 percent of people involved in plane crashes survive. Even in the most serious class of crashes, more than 76 percent survive [source: NTSB].

Big Question: What are the odds of surviving a plane crash? : Discovery Channel

[zentropa]

You need to do something proactively to address your phobia. You can't just say "I will never need to fly."

Imagine that your children move far away, even overseas, and start families there. Will you just never visit them?

What if your wife wants to travel after you two retire. Are you going to deny her trips to Europe or Hawaii--or make her go alone?

What if your future job requires you to travel to, say, Germany? or Mexico City? Will you say no and risk getting fired?

Not being able to get on a plane can wreak havoc on your personal and professional life. You CAN overcome it. Your fears are not rational at all and can be fixed.

[BritinUSA]

Just be careful with thinking you pop a pill and you're fine. I can take high doses of benzos on a plane and it help but not much, and I'm a tiny woman. Now normally on ground those doses would put me out for a week.