Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not a people person, lol
I can only take most people in small doses or they annoy the heck out of me....
That being said- in my line of work I connect w/ so many people,
from all walks of life & from all over the world.
They like me, for some reason
I think you can fake it but I don't think in reality that most people want to change it because it does mean sacrificing a part of who you are. Obviously if you are miserable as a loner, you need to find a way to change that but otherwise, faking it works. Determined to be "shy" during my school years, I joined the military and along the way learned to "fake" it. After that, I in processed people, hundreds of them that sat at my desk as we worked through their paperwork. I would think though that working customer service at a place like Wal-Mart would make just about anyone want to become a hermit! Because I am generally polite to everyone that I meet, there are just times when I feel the people do nothing more than drain my energy and/or bore me to near death. I now realize that it was not that I was shy in school but I simply was very selective about who I bothered to spend time with. I used to walk alone with my dog and someone almost always joined us seeing I was alone but sincerely, I was not as the dog was sufficient company. I always think of "people person" as someone just bubbling and falling all over themselves kissing up.
Yes it is possible, one has to step out the comfort zone, put themselves out there, and will get used to working with other people. This goes for social, employment, and other aspects where one deals with people. So I think it is possible, just have to do it.
This could be defined many ways. The major ones I think of are - enjoying socializing versus enjoying being alone...and having a regard for "humanity" versus "hating people."
Why do you wnat to become a "people person?" Did someone tell you that you were supposed to be one? If so, why did you accept that idea? If not - where did you GET that idea?
Is it possible for someone who doesn't like people to "learn" to like them? Or is it something that you either have or your don't?
I was reading a thread in Work and Employment where the OP wants to be a teacher and she doesn't really like people. In my own life, I LOVE paperwork and working with computers, but I loathe working with the general public. I want to deal with people on my terms, if that makes sense.
Is this something that can learned? Is there something "wrong" with people who do not naturally possess these skills?
yes you can become a people person, but it will always be somewhat forced unless you change your attitude on life in general, and people specifically.
the first thing you have to do is get rid of the hate in your life, as completely as possible. you start by tolerating people, slow your anger response, and generally try to be happy being around people. each goal you achieve lets you set the next goal, and on and on.
and yes it works, i did it years ago. as you start down this path, you will start to realize a few things;
1: you dont really hate people so much as the things they do
2: you find that hate doesnt hurt anyone but you. it eats at you inside, and causes you stress
3: you will find that as you delve deeper into your own soul, and as you get closer to your own personal nature, you will find the hate really starts to go away.
i used to be a poeple person, (extrovert) and had fun, but now im an introvert and not a people person, they wear me out, i prefer to go home and unwind by myself, i like to go on my own time, and i find that im recovering from a bad breakup and do not want to get back into anything, so ta ta for now to that!
i guess i could be more sociable if i want but so far, im cool with being sociable with the few people at work and stuff,, but not needed more than that. no time, no energy.
when i try to force myself to be sociable i hate it, and i have the perfect opportunity right here in my apartment situation, but its really too much work! i dont fit in .. but they are really not my age for the most part and i dont have anything in common really, so i can enjoy being with them but not part of them. and im ok with it.
When someone says they are not a people person, that is just code for laziness and selfishness. You don't have to be Mary Poppins to show a basic level of friendliness and empathy. Some people are just selfish and would rather focus on themselves and not care if they are rude or mistreat others. They then rationalize it by saying "Well I'm just not a people person" Funny how those people can be "people persons" when they want something.
Generally speaking I will avoid a person who claims to be someone who doesn't like people. That's just code for douche bag. They can be polite and friendly if they want, they are just choosing to not to be. They know how. It's not like they are incapable of being friendly.
Liking your private time does not mean you dislike others. That is the dumbest comment on this thread. Every person likes their quiet time and personal space. That is human nature. That has nothing to do with whether or not you are a people person.
You can fake it til you make it til you cant take it anymore and then you break. And there's no going back to the artificial person you once were. You miss the person everyday that you once were before, for whatever reason, you became something you're not. And it will take a long time to get that person back again step by step.
I used to be a people person, but I generally can't stand strange people anymore. I like the people who are in my life, and if you end up in my life, that's good. But I don't like networking, I find it a waste of time, and also exhausting.
I am such a people-person I usually get taken advantage of by someone who isn't as nice as I assume they are. (I bought a truck over the phone off Craigslist before I'd even relocated from Hawaii to GA - nearly cost me my relationship with Mr.TrustNobody.) But I continue to trust people as a whole. (he likes the truck now)
Yesterday we were discussing radical Muslims who follow the "death to infidels" theology (to give an example of negative-type people). I remarked how misled they are and how they need our prayers. That didn't sit well.
That's probably the "prove an argument by taking it to the extreme" method.
Day to day people who irritate? I practice patience and think about how my own kids once irritated me or my mom or other loved ones. Sometimes they are going through stuff that makes them act irritating. You never know until you walk a mile in their shoes. Plus it's fun for me to try to "kill them with kindness" and it works a lot of the time.
The Bible says Jesus died for EVERYONE. Even those who irritate us, even our enemies. Sometimes it ain't easy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That didn't sit well. 
