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The article says that even well-meaning people sometimes give "loaded" advice. They tell you to follow a certain path because it's what they would do, or what they've done in their own lives -- but it's not necessarily what makes sense for you.
For example, people simply assume that everyone should get married, buy a house, have 2 kids, become senior VP at a big corporation, and love football. We all have different interests and priorities -- and it's important to remember that when assessing whether the advice being given to you is truly sound.
The article says that even well-meaning people sometimes give "loaded" advice. They tell you to follow a certain path because it's what they would do, or what they've done in their own lives -- but it's not necessarily what makes sense for you.
For example, people simply assume that everyone should get married, buy a house, have 2 kids, become senior VP at a big corporation, and love football. We all have different interests and priorities -- and it's important to remember that when assessing whether the advice being given to you is truly sound.
in which people believe that what worked for them must be what will work for other people also, in that case with regard to how to lose weight/be healthier.
So those folks go around exhorting others to "just do what I did", when it really isn't "that simple".
Quote:
Originally Posted by article excerpt
Metabolic chauvinism is the idea that one’s own experience — of a drug, a condition, a cure or sensation — is the same as that of everyone else. It’s similar to the way male chauvinists assume that the male perspective is the only one that matters.
The same mentality operates in many other areas, not just the care feeding and exercise of the body.
Of course there are some things that universally are good or bad for a human life-but there are many more things that are subjective, not "one-size-fits-all" rules.
My physiology and that of another person may differ greatly, so what makes someone else feel better may make me feel worse.
Doesn't make either of us objectively wrong or right, distinct individuals likely operate in dissimilar ways, at least on certain levels.
My desires & dreams may not be interchangeable with those of someone else.
I don't begrudge others their interests & priorities, why should mine be dismissed because they're in the minority ?
I do understand that people are usually working with the only info. they have, which is most often merely anecdotal.
Sure, I do that too-it's a natural way to draw conclusions, through "less than scientifically rigorous" trial-and-error.
We all have rather limited data sets with which to work, and tend to judge by our own results.
I just try to preface my opinions with "this is my experience, but YMMV-your experience is just as valid as mine."
I've always fallen under the impression that people only tell us what to do when they are unhappy with their own lives and feel a sense of power and control over others, because they lack power/control within their own selves.
Truly happy and confident people don't feel the need to wag their finger and "advise" people without their consent. Truly happy people respect people's individual needs and recognize each person is different.
It's the one's who act all high and mighty that feel the need to tell others what to do because inside they're just as confused or unsure, if not even more, and try to justify being "expert" in other people's lives because they lie to themselves and try to convince themselves each and every day. how. right. they are.
I've always fallen under the impression that people only tell us what to do when they are unhappy with their own lives and feel a sense of power and control over others, because they lack power/control within their own selves.
Truly happy and confident people don't feel the need to wag their finger and "advise" people without their consent. Truly happy people respect people's individual needs and recognize each person is different.
It's the one's who act all high and mighty that feel the need to tell others what to do because inside they're just as confused or unsure, if not even more, and try to justify being "expert" in other people's lives because they lie to themselves and try to convince themselves each and every day. how. right. they are.
Those who ask me how Im doing and feel they have to jump in with LOUD, PUSHY, OVERBEARING, NONSTOP REPEATED, UNASKED FOR ADVICE when I answer their.question are obnoxious, flawed people who dont realize they are insulting my intelligence. They never walked an inch let alone the proverbial mile in my shoes WHO ARE THEY TO DEMAND I FOLLOW THEIR UNASKED FOR.ADVICE? Isnt it better to just listen to another person and accept what they say?
Its a different thing if one day I called one of "chief advisors" up and said to her say "Oh Cousin Prima (name is a euphemism) gee Id like your advice on something" And then by rights she could go to town on me.,.,the works but in 63 years that day never happened because I have never been known to ask for advice except from true experts and in return I never give any direct personal advice out Im just a good listener and a good friend.
many people are great at giving advice,,,but they don't take it themselves
people talk to compensate for their own failures
when I was introducing the game of golf to my son, in his teens,,, and we played on separate teams- he asked me "why do the worst players give the most advice"??
I answered him- the genuine good guys,,,,may see potential in you they don't in themselves, and offer advice, that they also need to heed, and they know it- they admittedly make the same mistakes, and want you to do better,,but
most will give advice, because they themselves feel inadequate, and you are an easy target to dump on ....
insecure people, make insecure statements to others
many people are great at giving advice,,,but they don't take it themselves
people talk to compensate for their own failures
when I was introducing the game of golf to my son, in his teens,,, and we played on separate teams- he asked me "why do the worst players give the most advice"??
I answered him- the genuine good guys,,,,may see potential in you they don't in themselves, and offer advice, that they also need to heed, and they know it- they admittedly make the same mistakes, and want you to do better,,but
most will give advice, because they themselves feel inadequate, and you are an easy target to dump on ....
insecure people, make insecure statements to others
All she ever does is aggressively push her unrequited advice on me. I wonder why cousin Prima feels inadequate. I still cant find a wife and shes been married forty years now and she mothered a son.
Maybe she doesn't appreciate what she has?
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