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Interesting post on a bipolar forum, by someone dealing with a bipolar wife. The answer to the question, "what we can do to help the bipolar lover":
just tons and tons of therapy from what I can tell. I really love my ex.- not just the "ideal" image she created, but because of why she created it. I knew I was being love bombed. I knew a lot of it was lies. I saw through the B.S., but what I didn't know was that I was going to be discarded. I didn't know that she could wake up and think "God why am I here?" See mania can be euphoric and dysphoric so if they are stressed and they feel the episode they are going to do unpredictable things and they can get their emotions and thoughts crossed completely.
For stable people we really can not understand. You might wake up and think god I wish had done this or that (probably what you are going through right now with the relationship) but you are not going to think it is the end of the world. You may "feel" that way but your brain your logical thinking knows that time will fix it. See they don't have that logical part down. They are just thinking they can not let themselves fall into the abyss. If they do, they do not think they will be able to get out. Make sense? So if they wake up and think I hate this place or I hate this person (perhaps the person made a comment taken the wrong way) they will just pack up a bag and head somewhere anywhere.
I don't know where I read it, but a guy was working for a Charter Bus company and apparently something happened while he was driving 30 passengers across country. The next gas station he jumped in a car with someone and left leaving 30 people stranded in the middle of Arizona. Not necessarily bipolar but definitely suspect.
The therapy makes them STOP and use logical thinking. They have to train their brain. They have to understand that yesterday they did not hate their life. Yesterday was good. I don't hate my husband, I am just mad at him. The drugs can only do so much.
So if you want to go to therapy 3 times a week with your loved one and go see the doctor every 1-2 weeks to make sure the medications are working properly and keep a mood chart etc then let your life revolve around this illness. The problem I see is there is never closure. If you loved someone with Cancer either 1). It would go in remission or be cured or 2) The person dies. It is a long battle of 1-2 years usually. With this illness you are talking about a lifetime battle.
My grandmother was bipolar. My grandfather battled it for 20+ years and then when she was 47 she committed suicide. He was never the same man. When I was growing up he never hardly spoke to me and showed very little affection. He probably didn't mean to. He just never wanted to be attached to people ever again. It crushed him.
Do you want this battle? Or do you want happiness because from what I understand any happiness from the relationship will be short lived and realistically all of your efforts, all the therapy, the doctors, the catering to them, it can be all in vain - and the hurt you feel now is merely a fraction of what you would feel 20 years down the road.
Take Care. Try and get in touch with them when they are 50+or so - from what I read for some reason they start to mellow and think a little clearer.
Its really not your right to go around diagnosing her. Even musing about it. You aren't in a close relationship. There is a host of things that could be going wrong for her. You don't need to get her help. If she is not a person you want in your life, or if you are a person she doesn't want in her life, end of story.
Its really not your right to go around diagnosing her. Even musing about it. You aren't in a close relationship. There is a host of things that could be going wrong for her. You don't need to get her help. If she is not a person you want in your life, or if you are a person she doesn't want in her life, end of story.
Yes and no. The signs are all there. Unlike other "illnesses" like heart conditions, for instance, where you need clinical examinations like colesterol and stuff, this one is based on behavior, on actions, not on medical examinations.
We were in a close relationship, I was sleeping at her house often. Brief and not all serious but close.
I'm not musing about it, you don't know who I am, or who she is, or anything. I'm just trying to find answers that's all. And I think I found those. Every time I read about this illness more certain I'm convinced I was dealing with a bipolar woman.
I agree on one thing: I shouldn't told her anything. Just get my few things out and never look back. And yes...I don't NEED to do anything to help her...but because I CARE FOR HER, I tried to tell her about her problem...the intention was noble, the execution awful...I know.
Yes, there could be a lot going wrong for her...but all signs point to THAT. Mild and low but still there is a problem there. Any man who saw what I did...ran to the hills a.s.a.p. I was trying to be the "good guy" who offered to help her deal with her issue, but if there's something I respect on EVERYBODY, is their freedom to say "yes" or "no". She said "no", and that's fine by me.
But I agree with you on something else 110%: the best thing here is not have any contact with her. And let her be. "Compassionate distance" end of the story.
Trust me! We know drama!
Last edited by skywalker2014; 11-09-2014 at 09:42 AM..
I personally will refrain from calling a mentally ill person "crazy". They suffer from something they simply cannot control. But my heart goes out to the people who have to deal with them, or have a close relationship with them. It certainly is not easy.
I know it is a taboo to "diagnose" somebody over the internet and nobody wants to be labeled as armchair psychologist, but when we see "drama", we kind of have an ideal what we are dealing with.
People with bipolar and borderline personality disorder think in the extreme quite frequently. Everything feels like the end of the world (catastrophizing).
Not everyone jumps to the extremes, but people with bipolar or BPD seem to have that tendency.
Obviously, there are still people believe that mental illness are "bad people's disease." Mental illnesses have nothing to do with somebody's moral characters, they have a lot to do with a person's biochemistry in the brain. It is a much complicated issue.
Obviously, dealing with bpd or bipolar often feels like you are dealing with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. They can be charming, loving, kind, and compassionate at one point, and turn into a villain in the matter of minutes. How can you blame somebody who don't want to deal with this kind of drama?
I say setting firm boundaries is the key. Urge them to seek professional help, if you can offer emotional support, great. if you cannot offer that all the time, it truly is not a crime. You have done your best.
No they all are not, and it is near bigotry to even say so. That cop killer either wasn't bipolar, or had something else as well. I don't understand why so many people here think those with mental disorders are so evil.
Bipolar people are RARELY violent. The truth of the matter is that just because you have a mental illness; does not mean you are violent. I know that each person needs to be evaluated on an individual basis, but I believe that includes every individual, not just those of them who have a diagnosis; sane people murder, too.
I really liked a guy in college and he suffered from bipolar. He had to be one of the most "sane" person I have ever known. I know it makes no sense, but I am only telling the truth. He kept a lot of his emotion to himself and he never lash out on anybody.
bipolar, just like heart disease is different for everybody.
Maybe she isn't bipolar and just had PMDD.It's extreme pms.
Not quite. The manic state was there, depression was there as well. If the rage was the only thing, I would suspect that, but no, too many signs to ignore.
Bipolar people are RARELY violent. The truth of the matter is that just because you have a mental illness; does not mean you are violent. I know that each person needs to be evaluated on an individual basis, but I believe that includes every individual, not just those of them who have a diagnosis; sane people murder, too.
I really liked a guy in college and he suffered from bipolar. He had to be one of the most "sane" person I have ever known. I know it makes no sense, but I am only telling the truth. He kept a lot of his emotion to himself and he never lash out on anybody.
bipolar, just like heart disease is different for everybody.
Bipolar I can turn very violent for what I'm told, usually is mixed with BPD or schizofrenia.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) can be considered a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Both PMS and PMDD are characterized by unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms that occur in the second half of a woman's menstrual cycle, most commonly in the days preceding the menstrual period. Physical symptoms such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint pain; food cravings, mood swings or frequent crying,*panic attacks, fatigue, mood changes, irritability, and trouble focusing are among the most common symptoms, yet other symptoms like*anxiety*and trouble sleeping have been reported. PMS symptoms may be troubling and unpleasant. PMDD may cause severe, debilitating symptoms that interfere with a woman's ability to function.
Biologic, psychological, environmental, and social factors all seem to play a part in PMDD. It is important to note that PMDD is not the fault of the woman suffering from it or the result of a "weak" or unstable personality. It is also not something that is "all in the woman' head." Rather, PMDD is a medical illness that impacts only 3% to 8% of women. Fortunately, it can be treated by a health care professional with behavioral and pharmaceutical options.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014
Not quite. The manic state was there, depression was there as well. If the rage was the only thing, I would suspect that, but no, too many signs to ignore.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) can be considered a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Both PMS and PMDD are characterized by unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms that occur in the second half of a woman's menstrual cycle, most commonly in the days preceding the menstrual period. Physical symptoms such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint pain; food cravings, mood swings or frequent crying,*panic attacks, fatigue, mood changes, irritability, and trouble focusing are among the most common symptoms, yet other symptoms like*anxiety*and trouble sleeping have been reported. PMS symptoms may be troubling and unpleasant. PMDD may cause severe, debilitating symptoms that interfere with a woman's ability to function.
Biologic, psychological, environmental, and social factors all seem to play a part in PMDD. It is important to note that PMDD is not the fault of the woman suffering from it or the result of a "weak" or unstable personality. It is also not something that is "all in the woman' head." Rather, PMDD is a medical illness that impacts only 3% to 8% of women. Fortunately, it can be treated by a health care professional with behavioral and pharmaceutical options.
Interesting...but still there is no substance abuse there.
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