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After allowing myself to be around and live with toxic people, I have a sense of contempt for the folks who took advantage of my kindness.
Rather than suffering hurt, I like hating the people who have hurt me and ruined my life.
Does anyone else scoff at the, "You Must Forgive Movement"?
part of forgiving is letting go of the hate- you are carrying around
also,, its partly not only forgiving others, but forgiving yourself to allow others to either walk on you, take advantage, or take their crap- we live and learn - now you wont allow yourself to be placed in similar situations
part of forgiving is letting go of the hate- you are carrying around
also,, its partly not only forgiving others, but forgiving yourself to allow others to either walk on you, take advantage, or take their crap- we live and learn - now you wont allow yourself to be placed in similar situations
It is a new outlook on life. The sad thing is, I am back to where I was years ago. The, "how can I be so stupid?!" is hard to let go of. On one hand I see WHY it all happened, and I am angry at that. On the other I am on the, "...suck it up and move on...".
It is a new outlook on life. The sad thing is, I am back to where I was years ago. The, "how can I be so stupid?!" is hard to let go of. On one hand I see WHY it all happened, and I am angry at that. On the other I am on the, "...suck it up and move on...".
forgive thyself, then you can forgive others
live and learn, we all have done stupid things,,,,don't marinate is past mistakes,,,,focus on what you learned.. and let it go..
we often bury our hurt and pain, and it festers,,, and grows, then comes out in other ways
you may have to hit this head on- (the underlying pain is fear, fear is masked by pain, shame,hurt, etc)
plan a night, a time,,,hit this crap head on and let it go
yrs ago my sister got hurt so bad by one guy she really liked- she took a shirt of his wrote out all her hurt feelings,,,,,and how HE screwed up not her - then she read this to the shirt
and set the shirt on fire and threw it in a river
we are what we think and we think in pictures, so,,think of goal pictures, that make you feel good.
The very same people that I trusted were betraying me and then preaching that I should forgive them. I would forgive them and then a month later they would do the same thing to me.
That was more then 30 years ago. Now, I have told the people around me that if they betray me there will be no forgiveness and I will consider them none friends. Now the friends that I have are very solid people that I trust my life to.
Why do some people think nothing of lying and cheating people. That's because they know that they will be forgiven.
The very same people that I trusted were betraying me and then preaching that I should forgive them. I would forgive them and then a month later they would do the same thing to me.
That was more then 30 years ago. Now, I have told the people around me that if they betray me there will be no forgiveness and I will consider them none friends. Now the friends that I have are very solid people that I trust my life to.
Why do some people think nothing of lying and cheating people. That's because they know that they will be forgiven.
Setting boundaries I think, really, does not have to do with forgiveness. It has to do with self preservation.
Now, I recognize the people you describe. Usually, they tell you everything you want to hear. IF a person in your life is telling you things and it all seems to be the moon and stars, run and don't look back./
live and learn, we all have done stupid things,,,,don't marinate is past mistakes,,,,focus on what you learned.. and let it go..
we often bury our hurt and pain, and it festers,,, and grows, then comes out in other ways
you may have to hit this head on- (the underlying pain is fear, fear is masked by pain, shame,hurt, etc)
plan a night, a time,,,hit this crap head on and let it go
yrs ago my sister got hurt so bad by one guy she really liked- she took a shirt of his wrote out all her hurt feelings,,,,,and how HE screwed up not her - then she read this to the shirt
and set the shirt on fire and threw it in a river
we are what we think and we think in pictures, so,,think of goal pictures, that make you feel good.
This goes for me, along with the deceitful people I allowed in my life:
People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.
James A. Baldwin
A ritual can be healing too-your sister's approach is productive, leave it all behind.
Last edited by FlowerPower00; 08-20-2014 at 08:55 AM..
This goes for me, along with the deceitful people I allowed in my life:
People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.
James A. Baldwin
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
Best not to waste energy and move on.
"Hating" the person and spending your precious time doing so will not get you anywhere but more stress in your life.
The "must forgive" is something I cannot relate to.
I would love to be one of those people who can forgive however some things are unforgivable. As much
as some of us try to move on and forget, we are not as fortunate since these nasty people and their
"affiliates" don't stop and some continue (at great lengths) to do their evil and hurtful deeds.
I don't want to spend any time or need the stress but somehow they always show up.
btw: I have always practiced "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" by being a good,
kind, caring, hardworking, citizen, friend, employee, etc... And I haven't witnessed the "karma" thing
or paying for anything they did. And if it does happen, I probably won't be around to hear about it.
[quote=baileyvpotter;36161871
I don't want to spend any time or need the stress but somehow they always show up.
btw: I have always practiced "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" by being a good,
kind, caring, hardworking, citizen, friend, employee, etc... And I haven't witnessed the "karma" thing
or paying for anything they did. And if it does happen, I probably won't be around to hear about it.[/QUOTE]
I think if you are easy going and kind, certain people prey on your baileyvpotter. I think a module on asserting yourself and setting boundaries would be a good start.
Yes, even if you do the right thing, life does NOT get easier.
What echoes in my mind when I think the above is, life is not fair. Some people who are horrid win, and the people who try to do the right thing, often, get burned.
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