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Old 08-25-2014, 07:49 PM
 
1,418 posts, read 1,268,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
A good, stable home, good role modeling by parents, and a good relationship with the father is crucial to women, and to forming their self-esteem. The women you see getting into trouble, having unplanned pregnancies, hanging out with "bad boys", are women with daddy issues, or home issues in general. A dysfunctional family background can jeopardize women's safety in adolescence and young adulthood.
yes but those women are still able to get men since women are allowed to be passive, and being passive does not really require much social-skills and conversation-skills, etc.
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Old 08-25-2014, 07:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MogwaiLover217 View Post
yes but those women are still able to get men since women are allowed to be passive, and being passive does not really require much social-skills and conversation-skills, etc.
What kind of men do they end up with, though? Those women end up with abusers, they end up raped, or they end up in serial relationships where they're used and dumped. You make it sound as if it's so easy for women, just because they supposedly don't need social skills. There's so much more to the picture. Men don't have to worry about their safety in dating, generally. Everyone needs conversation skills. Women can't date if they just sit like bumps on a log. That's nonsense.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
What kind of men do they end up with, though? Those women end up with abusers, they end up raped, or they end up in serial relationships where they're used and dumped.

Very good point.

Also, traditionally, american men relay on their female partners to be the one with social skills in the relationship, just like she relies on him to be the one with tire-changing skills.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Very good point.

Also, traditionally, american men relay on their female partners to be the one with social skills in the relationship, just like she relies on him to be the one with tire-changing skills.


Not in our home, my Husband is way more social than I am and I have always been able to change my own tire and work on my own vehicle.

Obviously choices made as an adult are influenced by the actions of adults around you during you childhood but at some point as an adult one must take a good long look at their own actions and figure out if those actions are a result of their own adult decisions or as a residual from a childhood that no longer exists.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Very good point.

Also, traditionally, american men relay on their female partners to be the one with social skills in the relationship, just like she relies on him to be the one with tire-changing skills.
you sure about that? when after all it is the mans role to approach the woman first and initiate conversation first, the guy is expected to lead the conversation, so that sounds like he has to be the one to keep it alive as well
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:25 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MogwaiLover217 View Post
you sure about that? when after all it is the mans role to approach the woman first and initiate conversation first, the guy is expected to lead the conversation, so that sounds like he has to be the one to keep it alive as well
Girls are raised being told it's their job to keep the conversation going, or that the easy way to keep it going is to ask about the guy, and make it all about him. (Very bad idea, imo, but that's always been the conventional "wisdom".) I think both boys and girls need to learn decent social skills.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Yshudicare View Post
This x1000. I was a HUGE recluse and found companionship mostly with video games and comics and a very few string of friends. And the fact that I moved so much didn't help me at all. Its like once I started talking to a few people, I'd have to pack up and leave.

If I have a kid, I'm going to do my best to make sure I find a place to stay permanently or at least until they become adults.
and that would probably explain why the jocks do so extremely well with girls, easy for them to get a girlfriend
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:28 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MogwaiLover217 View Post
yes but those women are still able to get men since women are allowed to be passive, and being passive does not really require much social-skills and conversation-skills, etc.
Don't make any assumptions about who's able to "get" men. Some passive women end up going years without a partner, or end up alone most of their lives.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:30 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,212,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yshudicare View Post
This x1000. I was a HUGE recluse and found companionship mostly with video games and comics and a very few string of friends. And the fact that I moved so much didn't help me at all. Its like once I started talking to a few people, I'd have to pack up and leave.

If I have a kid, I'm going to do my best to make sure I find a place to stay permanently or at least until they become adults.
I lived in 15 different states before I was 15 years old and was exposed to things children should not be exposed to.

My childhood is over and my adult decisions are based on what I feel as a mature adult is the right thing for me not some leftover fear or influence from my childhood that adults controlled and I didn't.
I control my life now and do not let the past actions of anyone control my life because now I don't have to just go with it and hope for the best.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Gotham
1,514 posts, read 2,119,307 times
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To answer the OP: Yes....definitely, yes. Poor social skills, plus issues with shyness, lack of confidence and assertiveness have been problems for me since childhood. They've been the result of both a quick-tempered/narcissistic/asocial parent and my inability to push myself passed these issues. It's still a work in progress.
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