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Old 09-28-2014, 06:07 PM
 
3,762 posts, read 5,395,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
That is your independent experience and it doesn't bear out statistically in the overall population. You can pull up statistics on bad fathers and mothers to stand on its own as a separate issue.



63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)

Statistics | The Fatherless Generation
Maybe the homes are "fatherless" for a reason. Maybe dad abused mom for years until she finally got smart and dumped him. Maybe both parents were violent before separating. Witnessing this for any period of time can create feelings of anger and resentment in a child not to mention the chaos it creates. Would it be any wonder they would act out later and be involved in drugs and crime? One of the most despicable people I knew as a child had a mom and dad in the home up to his adulthood.
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Old 09-29-2014, 07:09 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,056 posts, read 106,854,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ticking View Post
One factor could be that these boys/young men did not have someone to hold them accountable. My dad is still alive and I'm 46, just that fact alone may still play a small role in how I behave. When I was younger it played a much bigger role...just knowing that I would be forced to answer for something I may have done. A kid without a dad, and nobody filling that role, can act out and not feel like he has anybody that will hold him to account.
Why wouldn't his mom hold him to account? Moms are parents, too.

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Old 09-29-2014, 07:18 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,227 posts, read 13,733,852 times
Reputation: 18010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandalorian View Post
Yes, this thread has a provocative title, but I gotta draw y'all in here somehow and my winning smile is not text.

It seems like the biggest group of douche bags/a holes out there are men who grew up without fathers. Obviously not every guy who grew up without a father is bad, I would bet most are very good in fact. It's whole all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares thing.

Anyway, it seems like the biggest pricks out there have a correlation to growing up without a dad.

I don't know if it just gives them a bad disposition or what.

Thoughts?
There are plenty of people who grew up with only one parent who turn out just fine. It all depends on upbringing and if they use that as an excuse for bad behavior.
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Old 09-29-2014, 08:29 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
25,325 posts, read 16,963,795 times
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I grew up without a father. Poverty. Being left out. It was all part of my life in the 1950s. But I've done well. I'm married (25 years) and have step daughters and grandchildren. But it is not often that way. Here's the truth:

The single parent family is largely the result of public policy gone terribly wrong.

When FDR signed the law (ADC - 1935) that became welfare, it did not apply to black women. Just white.

It also had a "man in the house" clause, so if a woman was living with a man, she probably didn't qualify for aid.

The Civil Rights Act (1964) corrected the White Only policy, and admitted Black women, who, because of their disadvantaged status, qualified much more often that White women.

In '68 the Man In The House rule was overturned. Now, women could live any way they chose, and still qualify for benefits because the man didn't count unless they were married.

So it became advantageous to have children, but not be married.

And that's what women do to this very day.

It is a terrible, terrible turn of events. No one saw what was going to happen, and no one could stop the judicial wheel from turning. The current - and future - crop of SPUDs (Single Parent UnDiscplined) kids serves the NFL's needs, but that's about all.
It has become a world wide phenomenon - more so in some countries than in others - and it will impact world history.

It would be a different and better world if the 2 parent family was still intact.
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:10 AM
 
6,324 posts, read 4,296,545 times
Reputation: 4333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandalorian View Post
Men who group up without fathers are the worst
That's why I keep telling my male friends to always bring their fathers with them to their weekly poker games or sports-watching marathons. Doesn't matter if you have to bust them out of an assisted living center or drag them out of a hospital - always bring your father else you risk becoming a "douche" with no ability to stop it!

At any rate, I don't put a lot of stock into personal observations - somehow I doubt you've stopped to question every jerk and putz you've encountered about how they grew up. Hardly being scientific in any way, it's very easy to fall into confirmation bias when reaching conclusions through anecdotal evidence.

Just something to think about before you begin writing declarations on the internet that sound like a "case closed" unanimous verdict.
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Old 09-29-2014, 11:31 AM
 
Location: USA
30,405 posts, read 21,638,868 times
Reputation: 18750
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
Maybe the homes are "fatherless" for a reason. Maybe dad abused mom for years until she finally got smart and dumped him. Maybe both parents were violent before separating. Witnessing this for any period of time can create feelings of anger and resentment in a child not to mention the chaos it creates. Would it be any wonder they would act out later and be involved in drugs and crime? One of the most despicable people I knew as a child had a mom and dad in the home up to his adulthood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
That is your independent experience and it doesn't bear out statistically in the overall population. You can pull up statistics on bad fathers and mothers to stand on its own as a separate issue.
That is why I added the bolded. 'Good 2 parents' vs. 'good single parent' would have been an answerable question. There are so many variations, and there is not one answer. The statistics are very broad, but do show an overall trend. You can boil it down many variations: 'Great 2 parents', 'ok 2 parents', 'absent 2 parents', 'Bad 2 parents' or 'Great single parent', etc, etc.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
So....are you agreeing with the OP?
No, because of the vagueness of the topic.

Last edited by LS Jaun; 09-29-2014 at 11:55 AM..
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Old 09-29-2014, 11:41 AM
 
Location: USA
30,405 posts, read 21,638,868 times
Reputation: 18750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
I grew up without a father. Poverty. Being left out. It was all part of my life in the 1950s. But I've done well. I'm married (25 years) and have step daughters and grandchildren. But it is not often that way. Here's the truth:

The single parent family is largely the result of public policy gone terribly wrong.

When FDR signed the law (ADC - 1935) that became welfare, it did not apply to black women. Just white.

It also had a "man in the house" clause, so if a woman was living with a man, she probably didn't qualify for aid.

The Civil Rights Act (1964) corrected the White Only policy, and admitted Black women, who, because of their disadvantaged status, qualified much more often that White women.

In '68 the Man In The House rule was overturned. Now, women could live any way they chose, and still qualify for benefits because the man didn't count unless they were married.

So it became advantageous to have children, but not be married.

And that's what women do to this very day.

It is a terrible, terrible turn of events. No one saw what was going to happen, and no one could stop the judicial wheel from turning. The current - and future - crop of SPUDs (Single Parent UnDiscplined) kids serves the NFL's needs, but that's about all.
It has become a world wide phenomenon - more so in some countries than in others - and it will impact world history.

It would be a different and better world if the 2 parent family was still intact.
Great synopsis. Thanks FDR for destroying the modern family I think we could look to other western countries that have a better system, to fix ours. Won't happen, but it could be salvageable.
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Old 09-29-2014, 02:24 PM
 
14,984 posts, read 23,756,605 times
Reputation: 26468
Quote:
Originally Posted by armory View Post
Yeah, I thought it meant getting into gangs or something.
I thought it was about like "men's night out" - like going to t*tty bars or something. Wow did the OP screw up the thread title or what?
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:46 PM
 
2,079 posts, read 3,193,291 times
Reputation: 3947
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013 View Post
Nah, in my experience men with fathers tended to be jerks more than those with a single parent mother. The dudes I know without fathers had to mature sooner, basically learning that life isn't a cakewalk. Those guys seemed more authoritative and confident because they weren't carrying around the pathologies of their fathers. Of course when I say that, I'm talking about a handful of dudes that happened to have great moms. This probably wouldn't be the case if they had pushover moms.
that's true. I grew up without a father. combined with the fact that my mother was a raging alcoholic, I had to grow up at a young age. I am rather jaded and cynical, but otherwise normal. I think I turned out alright, but I am not much of a people person. if people mistaken that for douchebaggery, then I have no control over that.

OP is most likely projecting because her boyfriend dumped her. coincidentally, he grew up without a father.
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Sango, TN
24,869 posts, read 24,286,523 times
Reputation: 8672
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandalorian View Post
Yes, this thread has a provocative title, but I gotta draw y'all in here somehow and my winning smile is not text.

It seems like the biggest group of douche bags/a holes out there are men who grew up without fathers. Obviously not every guy who grew up without a father is bad, I would bet most are very good in fact. It's whole all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares thing.

Anyway, it seems like the biggest pricks out there have a correlation to growing up without a dad.

I don't know if it just gives them a bad disposition or what.

Thoughts?
There is also this added thought,

If the father couldn't stand to be around the mother that he had to run away, maybe the mother is so ****ty she created a bad son......

I was lucky, my dad was to young to raise me when I was a child, so I had my grandfather and grandmother as role models and to love me. They call me their "4th" child. Now I have a good relationship with my dad now, but its more like close brothers, and friends, then it is father son.

A hell of a woman can raise a boy into a man, without a father.
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