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Old 10-23-2014, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,627 posts, read 34,112,869 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
Well for one I really don't feel comfortable asking my parents. My dad's a big skeptic and will likely have something to say about it.
You're in school, right? Is there a counselor you could speak with there?
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Old 10-25-2014, 12:02 AM
 
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I was shy for the longest time too, so I know where you're coming from. I've been where you are so let me give you some advice:

It's all in your head. The problems/issues you perceive do not exist in reality. You have to learn to tune them out.

Secondly, you say you are shy/awkward, but other people don't have to know that. Growing up, you are told "You do anything" but the truth is you can also BE anything. Invent a character in your mind, suave, dashing, whatever. You can BECOME him. No one knows who you really are.
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Old 10-26-2014, 05:19 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 2,125,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
What I've noticed is that it really affects me when I go to new places, drive on new roads, experience things I've never experienced before, etc. I honestly don't mind talking to people one on one.

Like for instance today I went to a Wendy's and didn't really have problems talking to the cashier (even though I'm fairly shy in that department, too), but felt really paranoid while in line and while sitting in the place. I just hate people watching me do things. I have a fear of screwing up in front of people (which happens a lot) and I hate going to unfamiliar places.

Also, I'd rather not go to therapy or use drugs
I know what you mean, although I don't have it as bad as you. So far I didn't really find a "cure". But going to a therapist seems like an essential thing to do (although finding the right one may be a problem).

Sometimes learning WHY you are scared of something, MAY help you find ways to deal. If you just have no clue about what's going on, how would you ever get it fixed? So, learning (which is where therapist could be helpful) is the first step.

When I learned that some people feel unusually embarrassed about things it made me feel better. Although I don't know why. It's just that for some reason it felt better to think that: oh, it's just one of the problems that some people have THAN to think: oh, my god, why do I do that, this is so weird... It almost feels like I can handle the problem easier because of this new realization.

Sometimes, it's changes in your thinking (about how you view such and such) that could help you change the problem. So it's important to find a different way to perceive things. Which means you need information.

I am also afraid of being judged (or at least that's why I think I have social anxiety). I think that I am afraid that I'll do something wrong (either don't walk right, or don't talk right). So for me, sometimes I am trying to figure out how not to be so dependent on what others think of me. If I could free myself of that dependency, maybe I wouldn't have social anxiety anymore.

It's funny though, that I have this problem AND at the same time, I am non-traditional, I do things differently from other people and I insist on it. I am not sure how these two things coexist. Maybe I am wrong about why I have social anxiety.

Or MAYBE, there is a part of me that knows of my non-traditional ways and it knows that people usually don't like that and it's this part of me which is worried (which creates the feeling of social anxiety). But the other part just insists doing things in my own way. So this discord maybe creates the anxiety? The one of the parts not agreeing with what the other is doing?

There are so many things we don't know...
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