You know what stands out in my mind about this (much too sorry) thread ....... ?
'Why' all the personal angst? Don't any of these socially and emotionally maladjusted souls realize that, ultimately, a person receives from others EXACTLY what he broadcasts out!
It is, also, an equivalent mistake to expect other people to always be nice. PEOPLE ARE, NEITHER, NATURALLY NOR INHERENTLY, 'NICE'. THEY'RE SELF-MOTIVATED AND SELF-SERVING, INSTEAD. Which doesn't mean that everybody is, 'bad'; it just means that in varying degrees we're all, ‘normal people’.
Each and everyone of us needs to be strong enough to feed himself; and, in addition to feeding, to pay for his own sins. (I'll bet nobody quite expected that, huh!) I'm not going to eat your food for you; (I couldn't if I wanted to, anyway!) and, happily, you're not going to pay for my sins, either. (Only I can do that!) You are responsible for your own personal health, self-maintenance, and psychological wellbeing; and this personal responsibility for healthy self-maintenance is every bit as true for the body as it is for the incumbent mind and emotions, therein.
It's a serious psychological flaw to allow yourself to become easily offended by others. Conversely, it's equally wrong to allow yourself to, 'suck it in' and, then, obsess over the inconsiderate or cruel behaviors which certain (almost naturally) jaundiced others might decide to foist upon you. '
I put the stones to the woman of your dreams; and there's nothing you can do about it.'
Give me a break! I'm not even going to suggest any of the numerous appropriate replies to that sort of wisecrack! I will say this, though: 'Why' should you care? A remark like that is designed to hurt - to draw, 'emotional blood'! A normal man's survival instincts should have automatically kicked-in; and an equally profane wisecrack would have been delivered; but with the OP in this thread that didn't happen; and I find myself wondering, 'Why'? Whatever happened to this fellow's inherently selfish and self-sustaining, 'psychological inner core'?
One truism of (occasionally perverse) human nature is that if you don't like yourself - if you're unable to emotionally, 'stand upon your own two feet' - then absolutely nobody is going to prefer to be around you, nobody! Yes, I've known people like this. Invariably these people are, 'emotional drains'. You don't want anything to do with them because THEY WILL TAKE SOMETHING FROM YOU, AND NOT GIVE ANYTHING BACK. (People like this are often referred to, nowadays, as being, 'toxic'.)
It's necessary to always remember that each and everyone of us gets back (in varying degree) some measure of whatever is radiated, outwards, toward others: (This is one of the universal laws of commingled, and commingling, human behavior; and it cannot be violated without risk.)
'
Garbage in, garbage out'; and the opposite is, also, true! Either you rise to the occasion; or the occasion will dominate you. This has nothing to do with Asperger's Syndrome, borderline autism, or emotional obtusion. Neither can you take a pill, or turn to someone else for a cure. YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE - TO HAVE THE WIT, THE WISDOM, AND THE SELF-RELIANCE - TO HELP YOURSELF.
Me? Personally I prefer to think of any cruel behavior(s) received from others as, 'fire in life's forge'. Most men have only limited or no control at all over the behavior of others; but what each of us does have is the personal freedom to select how to respond. Look! Absolutely everyone, more or less, 'fences' his way through life; and the sooner a person learns how to, 'handle a sword' the better.
The Good Lord, in His wisdom, didn't put any of us here in order to become dependent little socialist sycophants. How do I know? Well, on the one hand, I've repeatedly read the Holy Bible; and, on the other hand, I've also studied the collected works of Plato, and William Shakespeare.
In other words, being socially maladjusted and predisposed to exhibiting incorrect emotional reactions IS NOT an essentially genetic disorder that a person is either born with, or can take a magic pill in order to correct. 99.9% of the human race are born into, 'a more or less natural estate of confused intellectual ignorance' and need to adjust and learn how to lead successful individual lives while operating from within the midst of others - Sometimes certain, almost naturally, malicious others.
(I think, but I'm not absolutely certain, that there's some form of prenatal anger - some sort of sublimated rage - inherent to the personal experience of being born. What this leads to is a subject for another thread.)
Me? I come from a military school background - A very tough military school background! After being forced to grow up like this I know (and fully appreciate) that mollycoddling the weaklings in the group only serves to pull everybody else down. (Which is one of the principal reasons, 'Why' government socialism is NEVER GOING TO WORK.) One of my own personal conclusions is that the Good Lord, in His wisdom, put each and everyone of us here in order to learn how to stand on his own two feet WITHOUT causing either harm to, or disharmony among any of his fellows, or the rest of the universe.
(Sometimes I think of this planet as some sort of universal, 'insane asylum'. Which does NOT mean that people are inherently bad; it only means that people are capable of exhibiting BOTH good, and bad behaviors; and each and everyone of us need to learn, 'How' to correctly decide and effectively choose between the two.)
As far as I'm concerned it's pretty damned godless and self-destructive to walk around all day long actually expecting other people to foist emotional harm upon you while simultaneously nursing strong personal grudges against everyone else in general. If any such seriously screwed-up person would straighten out his own mind, first, then guess what? The world around him would suddenly begin to straighten itself out, as well.
Being angry and harboring grudges, personal resentments, and animosity is AN EXCUSE for refusing to rise to face life, 'on its own terms'. Of all the people I've known, and I've known a few, anger and self-pity have worked for none of them.
Another thing: As for those people who genuinely hurt you, (Yes, they're out there, too.) my suggestion would be to, 'LEAVE THEM TO GOD'! Why? Because, in this universe, and on this planet, there is no such thing as, 'action without reaction'. Newton’s Third Law of Reciprocity applies to a whole lot more universal behaviors than just physics, alone.
Everyone alive, myself included, is either a direct result, a consequence, or a victim of his own personal decisions and past behaviors. (The Eastern Sages call this, 'Karma'. Christ referred to the same spiritual phenomenon as, 'treasure in Heaven'.) There are no, 'free rides'; so stop looking for one. Before destroying your own psyche with all of this low self-esteem and pained personal resentment crap, learn how to come out of yourself; and actually, ‘see yourself as other see you’. Learn the validity of Ernest Hemmingway’s profound admonition:
‘
No man is an island unto himself.’ ‘Everyman is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.’ ‘If a clod is washed away by the sea, Europe is the less!’ ‘Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; the bell tolls for thee!’
When a person stops hating others he will, automatically, begin to like himself more. His focus will change from, ‘
Who’s going to be next to hurt me and my bleeding and badly damaged, ‘Mr. Nice Guy?’ to, ‘
I really do have something good, worthwhile, and wholesome to offer to the world, today; and, I’m not going to allow anything to stop me from being the best I can be!’
(Realize that a person's very own soul - your very own soul - is irrevocably caught up in the bargain.)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
