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I've no one to talk to about my problems or issues, never had. My conversations with friends are very superficial, my mother had enough trouble already and my brother is taking care of his life.
I sometimes feel pressure building up in my chest and feel physically ill because of that.
Am I being dramatic or is it normal to feel the lack of having someone with whom I can be myself?
Of course it's normal to be lonely. Most people need someone close that they feel they can be themselves with and share their inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we're lucky and have a sibling whom we're close to, other times we find a dear friend or lover. It's especially hard if you're a guy, because male friends at your age can be kind of superficial. I have no advice for you I'm sorry, I just wanted to let you know your feelings are normal.
Thank you. I truly never had anyone to talk to but actually I had no need for that. In my childhood and teen years, as long as school as going fine, I was fine.
Not so easy these days, especially because uni isn't going so well.
I've no one to talk to about my problems or issues, never had. My conversations with friends are very superficial, my mother had enough trouble already and my brother is taking care of his life.
I sometimes feel pressure building up in my chest and feel physically ill because of that.
Am I being dramatic or is it normal to feel the lack of having someone with whom I can be myself?
I find that I can't discuss my personal joys and troubles with anyone from my family...I just don't want them knowing my business. As for friends however, if you don't have even 'A' friend with whom you can be yourself, then you truly need to re-evaluate why you have the friends that you have.
We are all social creatures on various levels and the need for interaction is certainly stronger in some than in others. Perhaps you need to build friends around a common creative hobby, cause or vocation. It will take work and courage to show others who you really are, but you may have a lot more to offer also, so you need to decide how you can overcome your unwillingness to open up.
I can certainly relate. I've not had a meaningful conversation with anyone in years, and no one wants to go beyond superficial small talk at all any more. It's as though that's the hard-coded social contract now, and anyone who wants to have a deeper conversation is somehow rude and breaking the rules. At the very least they are avoided. Aside from this, people often compete with each other in conversation, my stuff v. your stuff. Everyone wants to air their stuff, but no one wants to hear anyone else's stuff. It's become a very selfish society that way. In my own experience, you cannot trust anyone who actually wants to hear your stuff enough to ask you about it, because sometimes they are just looking to get some leverage on you to somehow manipulate you or use you.
Yes, it is normal to miss talking to others on a deep level. I've noticed too in the past several years that people - friends, families, partners - primarily talk superficially. I've learned to avoid a variety of topics with everyone. My guess is that people want to discuss their lives, but really don't want to hear about yours for very long.
I've no one to talk to about my problems or issues, never had. My conversations with friends are very superficial, my mother had enough trouble already and my brother is taking care of his life.
I sometimes feel pressure building up in my chest and feel physically ill because of that.
Am I being dramatic or is it normal to feel the lack of having someone with whom I can be myself?
the feelings you describe are a general feeling that most people probably feel when they feel lonely inside.. not so much because of who they are, but the situation that presents itself.
I know people who grew up in families that are very emotionally restricted. The feelings they feel inside gets minimized. When people are taught that the minimization of your feelings are "normal," they start to feel that physical sensation inside of emotional restrictiveness, which creates a dynamic of superficial conversations, superficial relationships, and everything being defined by "the image."
People think they save face by sharing less of their inner-experiences, but in actuality, they're also allowing their interactions with each other to be degraded and impersonal.. easily invalidating so they clam up and close up, not knowing what to do with their emotions.. these become manifestations to addictions and ways of escaping reality like drinking til one is drunk and out of their minds.
Denial is an effective coping mechanism for shunted communication. There is a loss of sense of self.
Of course it's normal to be lonely. Most people need someone close that they feel they can be themselves with and share their inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we're lucky and have a sibling whom we're close to, other times we find a dear friend or lover. It's especially hard if you're a guy, because male friends at your age can be kind of superficial. I have no advice for you I'm sorry, I just wanted to let you know your feelings are normal.
It's often hard for a guy in his 40-50's to discuss personal matters with other men because they usually have enough going on in their own life to offer anything other than a superficial reply.
A buddy got divorced recently and likes to hang out on the weekends. Great except I'm married and weekend is family time. Besides I can't help the man with advice on dating or what he should do next with his life anyway. All I can offer is encouragement but that's usually not enough when people are down in the dumps.
They want some advice on how to get out which I guess is therapy is such a booming business.
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