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Why the hell did you put victim in quotes? If an adult man rapes a young girl - no matter how "willing" he [i]perceives[i] her to be - she's a VICTIM.
I agree with you 100%......for some reason I misused the quotes. But correct, legally speaking, any one under the age of consent who engages in sexual conduct with an adult, male or female, is a victim.
It doesn't matter how much the victim enjoyed the act. I'm sure plenty of teenage girls would enjoy sexing up their attractive 28 year-old gym coach. Do we also pat them on the back for scoring such a hot stud....."atta girl" right?
Well, when I was 16, I would have enjoyed being "raped" by one of these 20-something teachers. Have you looked at their pictures? Some of them are hot!
Yeah, keep fantasizing. The reality is if a fat & unattractive older lady forced sex on you against your will you would be singing a much different tune.
I guess we are okay with laws not applying to hot women who target children. Like wealthy powerful men, they literally do get away with murder.
Because it's just different. Guys are just build different than girls. What 15 or 16 year old teenage boy hasn't fantasized about banging a hot teacher or a friends older sister?
Ask yourself this question. How traumatizing would this experience be for a teenage boy? Not at all! What about a teenage girl? Not good.
Do you actually think that 15 and 16 year old girls don't fantasize about the older males with whom they interact? Regardless of sex or sexual orientation, adolescents tend to have a very intense, if not unrealistic, set of sexual fantasies.
The question of potential harm done to an adolescent by virtue of a sexual encounter with an adult is a complex one. It includes the specific circumstances of the encounter, the role the adult plays in that adolescent's life, the religious and cultural upbringing of the adolescent, and the broader social attitudes about human sexuality in a given society. In the end, such relationships will be psychologically traumatic for some adolescents--male and female, while others will consider the experience to be ambivalent, or even positive.
Just to stress again, none of this has anything to do with pedophilia.
I DO think female predators are every bit as bad as male predators. I'm always totally taken aback by people who say things like, "Lucky kid!" when there's a news story about a female preying upon a child. I suppose people have a hard time putting themselves in the place of the child. They're looking at it from an adult perspective instead of an immature one.
When people make comments like that, they maybe don't realize how they're contributing to the problem. Until we see molestation by either gender as problematic, it will continue. There's no circumstance under which a minor child is "lucky" to have been molested by an adult. Their brains aren't matured, they aren't able to process what's happening, and it affects their ability to trust and engage in an intimate way as they grow older.
One of the most fundamental rights as a human should be choosing when and with whom we engage sexually. The adults who groom children and then prey upon them are manipulative, insidious, and conniving... male or female. They're equally dangerous. Female predators need the same level of punishment as the male counterparts, in my opinion.
I highly doubt this. He may have had religious society try to guilt trip him into feeling some shame and guilty, but it was those people that manipulated him, not the woman he was sleeping with.
Keep telling yourself that lie and you'll be able to believe it. Humans are not inherently facing internal conflicts about these things.
Exactly. You go by that cookie shop in the mall and the smell is permeating the air and your mind starts telling you that you want that cookie, gotta have that cookie.. you get the cookie.. And it sucks.
You're not damaged for life. You don't stop eating cookies. You just found out that those cookies weren't all they were cracked up to be. Then, from experience, you know you don't want those cookies again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go-getta-J
Yeah, keep fantasizing. The reality is if a fat & unattractive older lady forced sex on you against your will you would be singing a much different tune.
I guess we are okay with laws not applying to hot women who target children. Like wealthy powerful men, they literally do get away with murder.
Here's the difference. In your own words.. "Against your will". BIG difference. Again, in the eyes of the law, when someone is below the AOC, sex is always "against your will".. But that does not, at all, speak to the psychological effects, if there are any. A 13 year old has sex with a 30 year old. It does NOT mean that they are immediately and certainly damaged by it. Two sides of the coin here.. Since this is in the psychology forum, then we probably should be talking about it from the psychological side, not the legal side.
Again, one that you have to go back to is the Mary Kay Letourneau/Vili Fuanuaa(Whatever) case. For really all arguments, on both sides, you can refer back to that.. The argument that women get lighter sentences.. She did.. Until she did it again, but even then.. 7 1/2 years is waaay lower than a guy would get in that situation. You could make the argument both ways.. he's so damaged that he's still married to her, or that there was no damage done, since he's still married to her.
Personally.. I don't think either of them was damaged by the relationship. Look at their lives before.. Seems this relationship has been a stabilizing factor for both of them. They were both probably more damaged by their lives before (Read up on all this sometime.. It's nuts.. She was babysitting her 3 year old brother when he drowned, his father in jail.. much more) and by her being sent to prison than anything they did together. Then the question becomes.. is that the exception, or the rule?
Note that I am NOT saying that someone has to be 'damaged' to be in a relationship like this. I think it can be, from a psychological standpoint.. "normal". Certainly on the fringes of normal, but normal. If average human height is between 5 and 6 feet.. someone who is 5 feet tall is still normal. Remember that 100 years ago.. AOC was generally between 10 and 12. And average age of puberty was 14.2. Our thinking on it has undergone a complete flip. Puberty starts between 10 and 12 now, and AOC is 16. So, things change. 100 years from now, puberty may be starting at 6, and AOC could be at 21. Or it could go the other direction.. Either way, the people of that time will probably look back on us and ask what the hell we were thinking.
I don't condone any of the actions of these people. Any adult should not be allowed to teach or be near kids. Saying that, it seems that you can read headlines similar to below.
"The 14 year old male victim told authorities that this 24 year old female teacher had been having sex with him for the past 8 months two or three times a week."
"He told his parents that his teacher had been sleeping with him during the school year"
"He felt victimized because his female teacher had been molesting him for months."
These are not real cases but I have read many times that the young men have been having long term relationships with their teachers.
No and it is not always young men. Many times it is young women.
Camarillo High School in California recently had an incident with one of its Seniors. She had to change schools because she was a victim. Her mom said she will be scarred for life. The other students are making fun of her. For the past 2 years the assistant priniciple had been sleeping with her. So since she was a Sophmore she has been regularly victimized by the assistant principle and now she will be scarred for life. Why was it that she could not have said something two years ago?
And it is not always the student that is the victim.
Our schools have Police Officers that work at the school. One 20 something officer was being harrased by a female student. She told the other students that she was trying to get the officer to sleep with her. She bragged that if she could not get him to have sex with her she would make sure he got into trouble. After a few months she complained that he was trying to take her out, that he had sent her sexual texts. He ended up getting placed into a diciplinary action and ended up leaving the school. After an investigation it was found that she had lied about eveything. Still that kind of stuff can hurt your carreer.
Oh and the minute you think that these kids are saints, I have two sons that are Seniors in High School and sex is such a big part of high school now that the kids are thinking that having sex with an adult is no big deal, especially since many of these adults are only in their 20's. Our boys, both of which are very popular in school, tell us all the time what is happening today and how teen peer pressure to sleep around is prevalent. Our boys get asked by the girls all the time. What a differant world these kids live in.
Another kids that I read about was spotted by his girlfriend with one of his teachers. She, the girl friend, turned them in because she was jealous that he was not with her. The idea that she was with a teacher meant nothing. The idea that the boy was with another girl was all the girl friend was concerned about.
This has been going on for years. Maybe 10 years ago I was in another department and someone was mentioning this High School coach that had been busted for sleeping with a female student. One of the girls who had went to another area high school a few years before mentioned that at her school one coach would pick a new girl to be with him each year. Supposedly this guy was all that and a bag of chipps so it was thought to be cool by these girls to be "the Girl". Another one of the girls in that office mentioned that her sister had been "The Girl" one year. I said to them, you have to be kidding me, and they said no, it happens at all the schools.
Sometimes I wonder if other people were ever teenagers. Do you really not remember what it was like? An older boyfriend is a trophy for teenage girls. If you think they are unwilling to have sex, you are amazingly clueless.
Stop calling him a victim. He didn't say he was a victim. He appears to have been happy in the moment and after the fact. Do you have some video of him crying about he was used? She was having a relationship with the young man.
On Dr. Drew, they said he resisted somewhat.
Anyway, that's the kind of thinking that gets women lighter sentences than their male counterparts.
Another post mentioned the "hot teachers." Yeah, it seems like they're very overrepresented among offenders (boys probably wouldn't flirt with ugly teachers, and I think there's a personality/appearance factor also). And typically those women have emotional problems. I think that combination gets them much of the leniency.
There is no value in hating. Just because someone doesn't subscribe to your view of life and religion doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. Many men, who face less guilt trips for accepting their sexuality, have nothing against being involved with educated and attractive women. This woman fit both of those characteristics. It isn't up to us to determine that he was a victim. It isn't our place. When he decides to have sex, we need to have a warm glass of ****. If he actually feels "raped", then I will be with you in defending him, but it is not our place to decide for him that he was raped. It shouldn't be the place of the police department to make that determination either. Prosecuting someone for a "crime" in which the "victim" thinks "I had a ****ing awesome summer" is beyond mere stupidity. It is intentional ignorance.
I don't hate. I pity.
Apparently our definition of "man" is different.
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