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Old 11-08-2014, 04:25 PM
 
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I tried to delete this thread, but C-D wouldn't let me, so I guess I will ask this question anyway. Do you ever question your competency? If so, under what circumstances? Why is the word "incompetent" so taboo? Weren't we all incompetent for our jobs and lives at one point until we received the proper training / learned the proper social skills to interact with one another? I'm just curious. If there are any articles on the subject that you would like to share, please feel free to post links.

Consider:

Our society seems to look down on people who are less able than others, yet we have values that promote helping the weak and less fortunate. It's bad to show up for work in old clothes, but what if it is all you can afford?

People put a lot of emphasis on "making a good first impression," but they don't say much about how to maintain the business or social relationship. Why do we care so much about what a person may think of us on one given day? Why are job negotiations won or lost on this?

What does it really mean to be "competent" in something? Do you think younger people mistake "coolness" for "competence?"

Do you think our schools are producing a society of "incompetent" graduates?

Last edited by krmb; 11-08-2014 at 05:43 PM..
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Old 11-08-2014, 06:18 PM
 
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Those that lack confidence and self-esteem often question their competency. They second-guess themselves, their abilities and the projects they complete in their job, no matter how good they maybe. Though at least some studies say that self esteem isn't a predictor of how successful one will be in their career, I can't help but think those with low self esteem have a harder time projecting self-assurance. I think it's also harder for them to play the office games (getting ahead through flattery and brown nosing), as well as faking enthusiasm and confidence in their work. Everyone questions themselves and compares themselves to others now and then in regards to their career and personal relationships. You might do better with a job where you work alone. Less stress without others around and that might feel more secure in your duties. I've had problems with self criticism, I'm way harder on myself than probably anyone else. If you find something you enjoy doing, perhaps a hobby that you like that you can also work at, you would likely feel more secure about your abilities and competency.

A couple articles and thoughts reference self confidence.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/...ure-or-nurture

Self-confidence the secret to workplace advancement | The Melbourne Newsroom

Then ya sometimes gotta wonder how the biggest tool in the office moves ahead of the pack. From the article link they mention a study published in the Social Psychological and Personality Science Journal that showed the ruder one acts, the more convinced onlookers become that this person is powerful, and due to this they doesn't have to respect the same rules as the rest of us. Maybe this is one reason why you see people acting ruder these days.

Why Jerks Get Ahead - Forbes

Those that question their competency in social situations may just be shy and lack self confidence or they may have Social Anxiety. Overcoming shyness and having more self esteem in a social setting can be eased by folks joining a group or taking up an adult ed class that focuses on something they are interested in and feel more confident talking about. Speaking with others that have a strong interest in the same hobby can help those that have a hard time thinking of things to say and chit chat. This article below speaks a bit about Social Anxiety and the work environment. There are many articles reference this topic. You might read up on Social Anxiety, visit a forum or two, and see if folks there have had similar experiences in like situations.

Managing Social Anxiety Disorder at Work
Social Anxiety at Work - Social Anxiety Forum
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Old 11-08-2014, 07:59 PM
 
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low confidence, just need 2-3 people in your circle to make you feel good about yourself, any other peoples opinion don't matter
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Old 11-09-2014, 04:19 PM
 
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It sounds really silly, but I sometimes feel like I do not do things as well as other people, and it eats at my self-confidence sometimes. I constantly ask myself why I can't do as well as so-and-so in this area of learning. For instance, I can't decorate a room. I guess that wouldn't bother other people, but most of the people I know can decorate a room and make it look like something on the showroom floor. I wonder how they do it. Why does it seem to come naturally to most women but not to me?
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Old 11-09-2014, 04:58 PM
 
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I'm in the same boat. I generally feel like I'm not really good at anything. I don't feel like I have any talents or special abilities. Sometimes people tell me I do, but generally whatever "talents" they say I have are either insignificant in general or to me specifically. When I'm in a good mood, I'd like to think that I could be good at something, but my continual screw-ups tell me otherwise.
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Old 11-09-2014, 07:39 PM
 
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Half the times, it's about who you know as opposed to having talent or the gift of the trade.. as to why people are often promoted to their level of incompetency..

I've seen lower-level employees who are far much brighter, more competent, more professional than higher level managers who get promoted into their level of incompetency who try to appear competent, but they're a bunch of jerkoffs.

In a world of who you know as opposed to what you know, I'm not surprised how upper-level management can treat lower level employees as incompetent, when they're really just looking into the mirror and mistreating people to their own level of ignorance.
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Old 11-10-2014, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Europe
1,646 posts, read 3,486,225 times
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I consider myself more competent is small things of life than in abilities or academic results, so that I find unfair when for example more money is given to students with excelent academic results and not to the ones who need it more...

But answering your thread yes I question my compentency, I find more important being good humans than having good competences.
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:36 AM
 
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No. Though it depends on the area....
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:33 PM
 
Location: London
12,275 posts, read 7,133,491 times
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Yes, I feel like I know nothing, and that no matter how much I learn or improve, I'll never have the right to consider myself truly mastered in anything. Functionally competent? Perhaps. But even that is hard to measure when it comes to things less immediate and tangibly defined.

I know that I don't know what I don't know. And also that everything is relative, and given the sheer number of talented people, I can never claim to be especially competent in anything.

It's sobering, and perhaps I would have gotten further in life on false confidence, but my persistent self-doubt (realism, as I call it) tends to keep me tethered from being able to BS convincingly.

It's also why I've never enjoyed competing with others. It's a moving target, and even if you 'win', it's hard not to question the overall competence of the contenders relative to others out there in the world. It's a lose-lose IMO.

Competing with myself, though...that's more revealing and potentially rewarding.
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Old 11-15-2014, 03:13 AM
 
Location: Clovis Strong, NM
3,376 posts, read 6,102,410 times
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All the time and I don't see nothing bad about it.
The way I see it, you're actually self aware of some state of your life.

At this point, you either move into a type of "safe zone" you've made for yourself.
Or, you keep on pushing and keep any possible errors from occurring.
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