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Do you think she might hurt herself or someone else? Is she harassing this guy? You could try to get her put away for a 72-hour hold or whatever so that she can be evaluated. Therapists aren't going to do it. She needs to be put on a regime of therapy and medication and kept on it until she's stabilized.
But if she's 78, you could move for guardianship on the grounds that she is no longer capable of managing her own life given that she's delusional.
Do you think she might hurt herself or someone else? Is she harassing this guy? You could try to get her put away for a 72-hour hold or whatever so that she can be evaluated. Therapists aren't going to do it. She needs to be put on a regime of therapy and medication and kept on it until she's stabilized.
But if she's 78, you could move for guardianship on the grounds that she is no longer capable of managing her own life given that she's delusional.
Has she always been like this? You are describing something that sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. A good primer for dealing with this is a book (yes, me and the books again, lol I always have a book to recommend!) Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason MS (Author), Randi Kreger (Author). I would avoid, for now, online resources as they tend to be heavily slanted.
That is a good place to start. If it is accurate, that she has BPD, you can't change her, you can only set appropriate limits.
One woman I know who is a therapist for people with BPD was sharing something that works in her sessions is not arguing. Give her a set amount of time to vent, validate her feelings, but not her actual experience. i.e. "mom, it must really be awful to feel this way" instead of "He is such a jerk, how could he do this to you?!". Once the venting is out, it might be easier to redirect her to more appropriate behaviors, like writing letters she *will not send* or even letting him go.
Your husband working with a therapist might be able to help him set up the proper boundaries and deal with the crazy better.
She needs to be screened for dementia. Start with her family physician. She can be started on Aricept or equivalent which will slow things down for awhile.
Has she always been like this? You are describing something that sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. A good primer for dealing with this is a book (yes, me and the books again, lol I always have a book to recommend!) Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason MS (Author), Randi Kreger (Author). I would avoid, for now, online resources as they tend to be heavily slanted.
That is a good place to start. If it is accurate, that she has BPD, you can't change her, you can only set appropriate limits.
One woman I know who is a therapist for people with BPD was sharing something that works in her sessions is not arguing. Give her a set amount of time to vent, validate her feelings, but not her actual experience. i.e. "mom, it must really be awful to feel this way" instead of "He is such a jerk, how could he do this to you?!". Once the venting is out, it might be easier to redirect her to more appropriate behaviors, like writing letters she *will not send* or even letting him go.
Your husband working with a therapist might be able to help him set up the proper boundaries and deal with the crazy better.
thank you. I believe she has been like this a long time. My SO is starting to work with a therapist as I think he needs to set the boundries better.
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