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Ok.. Let's just say that you are correct in your "assumptions". I personally prefer big and tall men. Maybe it's all a head trip, and if so... It's "my" head trip, it's what works for "me", it's a tun on for "me" so what's the issue for you in regards to my preference? Where am I remiss in my choice?
Why do shorter guys seem to take offense when a woman says she prefers taller, even though she doesn't say anything disparaging about shorter guys? Why do they seem to get so defensive and feel the need to explain away the woman's preference as some kind of " flawed" thinking? Does that make them feel vindicated ?
What's the difference in liking tall guys as opposed to liking blond guys, brunette guys, bald guys, blue eyed guys? Sorry I just don't get it. ?????
My b/f is 6'5" and weighs 220 pounds. He's an imposing man who can handle himself, gets respect, and can be rather intimidating... even to me..... And I absolutely love ever bit of it! Add to the fact that he's educated, successful and quite intelligent... Priceless!
It sounds as if you are bragging about your boyfriend being 'imposing' and sometimes 'intimidating'. No offense to you for liking a big guy; I agree we all have our physical preferences in mates, so no harm, no foul. But the part about your boyfriend being able to handle himself and get 'respect' sort of reeks of you making boyfriend out to be superhero...almost moving into the realm of big, bad bully territory.....but the thing is, not everyone is impressed or intimidated by size. Tell your boyfriend to challenge or 'get respect' from a smaller trained fighter or from a smaller guy who simply doesn't buy into the 'big guy' as superhero ....and see how things play out. The world is filled with all different kinds of people, and to automatically assume boyfriend is going to be 'in charge' is very short-sighted.
It's nice you are turned on by your boyfriend's size, but don't assume his size is going to impress everyone or gain him any special treatment.
Heh. There's another group out there "attracted" to taller men. Average height douchebag types (drunk at the bar at least) who like to elbow us, say nasty comments, and otherwise try to provoke us into a confrontation. Not super common, but it exists and I'd guess that nearly every guy above about 6'4" has probably experienced this at least a few times.
I don't believe in "short guy" syndrome, or anything like that. The types described above aren't necessarily short, and they will also try to start stuff with big, muscular guys I think as a way to prove themselves. What I think it is is that for the minority of guys who are generally insecure (regardless of their own absolute height/size), they will go after proving themselves against people they perceive as taller/bigger.
It sounds as if you are bragging about your boyfriend being 'imposing' and sometimes 'intimidating'. No offense to you for liking a big guy; I agree we all have our physical preferences in mates, so no harm, no foul. But the part about your boyfriend being able to handle himself and get 'respect' sort of reeks of you making boyfriend out to be superhero...almost moving into the realm of big, bad bully territory.....but the thing is, not everyone is impressed or intimidated by size. Tell your boyfriend to challenge or 'get respect' from a smaller trained fighter or from a smaller guy who simply doesn't buy into the 'big guy' as superhero ....and see how things play out. The world is filled with all different kinds of people, and to automatically assume boyfriend is going to be 'in charge' is very short-sighted.
It's nice you are turned on by your boyfriend's size, but don't assume his size is going to impress everyone or gain him any special treatment.
You are so hung up on "tall vs short" that you haven't the least notion as to what I am saying. Zero, zilch, zip.
It sounds as if you are bragging about your boyfriend being 'imposing' and sometimes 'intimidating'. No offense to you for liking a big guy; I agree we all have our physical preferences in mates, so no harm, no foul. But the part about your boyfriend being able to handle himself and get 'respect' sort of reeks of you making boyfriend out to be superhero...almost moving into the realm of big, bad bully territory.....but the thing is, not everyone is impressed or intimidated by size. Tell your boyfriend to challenge or 'get respect' from a smaller trained fighter or from a smaller guy who simply doesn't buy into the 'big guy' as superhero ....and see how things play out. The world is filled with all different kinds of people, and to automatically assume boyfriend is going to be 'in charge' is very short-sighted.
It's nice you are turned on by your boyfriend's size, but don't assume his size is going to impress everyone or gain him any special treatment.
There is an expression: not seeing the forest for the trees. You are zooming in too much and seeing too many variables and that is confusing you on this particular point. You have to zoom out and deal the collective behavior, the averages, in order to see this particular point.
Many statements people say are NOT true in the details sense because they are actually saying them about averages. But whenever you go down to details, there are ALWAYS variables. And while understanding exceptions and variables is very necessary, it's confusing when you're trying to arrive at the generalization.
Generalization is a tool, it helps you understand something, so that's why it's done even though it's not technically accurate.
Sometimes you have to read the between the lines. Sometimes focusing on words makes it difficult to see the point. For me, sometimes when I read the between the lines it's this feeling: imagine you are standing on the road and it's VERY foggy and there is another person starting to come out of the fog and you start to see a little bit of him, then a little bit more, then finally you see the whole person.
It's like you feel that you almost know this, and yet you don't know it, but you know that it's on the tip of your mind so to speak. It will come if you allow it.
Sometimes it feels like I am zooming out and distancing myself from the words, relaxing my mind and not try to forcefully think about it, but just let it dangle there in my mind...... and then the idea sort of forms itself, I think it's coming from the subconscious section. I don't know, it's almost like "reading the spirit of the idea".
I know it probably doesn't make sense unless someone has observed it about themselves.
Last edited by LoveWisdom; 12-12-2014 at 01:59 PM..
Is there a reason that people are attracted to certain types?
I am trying to figure out if this is just plain arbitrary inner programming (like throwing a dice and saying: ok, this person will be attracted to such and such)
OR is there a deeper reason?
For example, I like to feel safe. And I feel like I need protection. So I think that "tallness" represents "his ability to protect me" in the body's language. So whenever the body comes across a tall man, it's like it's saying: this is what you need, this is good for you, this one will keep you safe, so therefore, FEEL THE ATTRACTION! And I do.
(Kind of like some say that evolution makes women be attracted to strong men because mating with strong men will ensure survival of the species. Or men are programmed to want to mate with many women because it will ensure the survival of the species. And men are programmed to be attracted to young and beautiful looking women because it represents that they are healthy and prime for mating, which also will ensure the survival of the species.)
It's just kind of funny to me when I observe my reactions to guys. I see a short guy and immediately I feel like I am not attracted (even if he is really cute). I feel like I am his mother and he is my child (because he is shorter than me and I guess my body associates shorter ones with being kids or something).
I see a tall guy and I feel the attraction even if he is not that good looking. I think I feel a tiny bit intimidated too, kind of like being shy.
But that's not all of course. Just tallness itself has to be combined with something else I like (at least as much of it as I can "see" or perceive from looks only). I have to perceive him to be a person with an ability to be reasonable and not be cruel.
I really wish there was some way to know what you need versus what you like and know the reasons behind them all.
We are so far off in our abilities to find a good match. I guess proof is in the pudding. All the divorces and the break ups show that we have no clue just yet.
The reason you are attracted to tall men is because you like tall men.
So many stupid comments on this thread; I can't even. If you replaced "short men" with "fat women", all the women would be up in arms about the shallow, superficial, sex-obsessed men and their urges. But it's totally OK for women to diss short men with foul language, huh? Keep that double standard going. Besides, most cases of being overweight can be reversed, but height isn't something that can be changed.
BTW, I'm 5'5", so much shorter than average. My wife is 5'9" and it has never been an issue for us. She doesn't consider me less manly or less attractive than other men. She didn't choose me because I had aspects that compensated for my shortness. It just did not matter. I'm glad I met someone mature - you women would do well to gain some maturity and perspective.
My advice to other short men - don't even bother chasing women who are immature, selfish and shallow enough to see height as an issue. Don't flaunt your money, your power, your cuteness, your abs, or any other aspects you think will "compensate". You don't want such immature women in your lives anyway. Find someone who appreciates you for who you are, period.
My advice to women (particularly short and medium-height women) who are interested in gaining some maturity is this: have you analyzed why you want the man to be taller than you? Most of the time, it's a socially programmed preference. There is no law that the man should be taller than you. Whether you're 5'0" or 5"10", nobody is going to arrest you if you date a man shorter than yourself. There are very few couples where both partners are exactly the same height. One will always end up being taller than the other - why does it always have to be the man? Think logically and think like an adult - immaturity is a major turnoff.
Last edited by arctic_gardener; 12-13-2014 at 05:04 AM..
Why do shorter guys seem to take offense when a woman says she prefers taller, even though she doesn't say anything disparaging about shorter guys? Why do they seem to get so defensive and feel the need to explain away the woman's preference as some kind of " flawed" thinking? Does that make them feel vindicated ?
What's the difference in liking tall guys as opposed to liking blond guys, brunette guys, bald guys, blue eyed guys? Sorry I just don't get it. ?????
Because it's stupid, that's what. If you want to feel protected in society, get a mean, nasty Rottweiler. A man is your partner, not your bodyguard and not your Daddy #2. Would you find it endearing if your boyfriend considered you as Mommy #2? I don't think so! Grow up!
So many stupid comments on this thread; I can't even. If you replaced "short men" with "fat women", all the women would be up in arms about the shallow, superficial, sex-obsessed men and their urges. But it's totally OK for women to diss short men with foul language, huh? Keep that double standard going. Besides, most cases of being overweight can be reversed, but height isn't something that can be changed.
BTW, I'm 5'5", so much shorter than average. My wife is 5'9" and it has never been an issue for us. She doesn't consider me less manly or less attractive than other men. She didn't choose me because I had aspects that compensated for my shortness. It just did not matter. I'm glad I met someone mature - you women would do well to gain some maturity and perspective.
My advice to other short men - don't even bother chasing women who are immature, selfish and shallow enough to see height as an issue. Don't flaunt your money, your power, your cuteness, your abs, or any other aspects you think will "compensate". You don't want such immature women in your lives anyway. Find someone who appreciates you for who you are, period.
My advice to women (particularly short and medium-height women) who are interested in gaining some maturity is this: have you analyzed why you want the man to be taller than you? Most of the time, it's a socially programmed preference. There is no law that the man should be taller than you. Whether you're 5'0" or 5"10", nobody is going to arrest you if you date a man shorter than yourself. There are very few couples where both partners are exactly the same height. One will always end up being taller than the other - why does it always have to be the man? Think logically and think like an adult - immaturity is a major turnoff.
TBPO... I haven't seen one word in this entire thread by anyone "dissing" short men nor have I read any "foul" language in regards to same. The topic is "why am I attracted to tall men"? The only person so far who has said anything derogatory has been pretty much only you. ( about women). If you can point out where I or anyone else has said anything disparaging about shorter guys.. I will profusely apologize. You are confusing someone's " preference" with "issue".
If height is an issue with anyone here... It's you, not me. If anyone needs to " grow up" ( maturity wise) it's you.
Heh. There's another group out there "attracted" to taller men. Average height douchebag types (drunk at the bar at least) who like to elbow us, say nasty comments, and otherwise try to provoke us into a confrontation. Not super common, but it exists and I'd guess that nearly every guy above about 6'4" has probably experienced this at least a few times.
I don't believe in "short guy" syndrome, or anything like that. The types described above aren't necessarily short, and they will also try to start stuff with big, muscular guys I think as a way to prove themselves. What I think it is is that for the minority of guys who are generally insecure (regardless of their own absolute height/size), they will go after proving themselves against people they perceive as taller/bigger.
It's called the Napoleon complex. I've run into it a couple times, most aren't dumb enough to actually do anything (because these people aren't trained to fight, or they wouldn't have the complex) but there are always exceptionally stupid people around.
The best thing I ever saw was actually the reverse of this. A 6'5'' dude picked a fight with me and my two buddies (he had ~10 friends with him who we had been hanging with before he showed up), but he never looked at me (6'3'', 215 pounds), he focused on my 5'7'' 160 pound friend. We even poked fun at him for it, were like "why are you only looking at him?". He ended up taking a swing at my buddy, who had been training with me in Krav Maga for months beforehand, who promptly got him in a head lock and smashed his head into the wall a few times before almost choking him out (his friends who were chill intervened and then we left).
Size is no guarantee of fighting prowess, just like long fingers aren't any guarantee of superior guitar playing ability. My 5'7'' friend is one of the last people I'd want to have to fight.
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