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I've decided a couple of things over the years . 1) Holidays are "magical" if you are a kid or if you have kids.
2) I don't actually hate the holidays so much as I try to just get through them and make the most of them.
My husband and I are in our 40s with no kids and while we are very happy not having kids through the entire year, it's the freakin' Christmas season that is more and more all about kids and making every moment magical for them. So if you are an adult, guess you're screwed.
I see this with friends a lot. I don't know if I think it's great or it's just creating more entitled brattiness in the future. My parents never went over the top for holidays. I can remember a few good Christmases but really they certainly never made it all about us.
My husband and I now live far from all family and we've stopped traveling for holidays. It's amazing how much more I enjoy them now. We sit in our pajamas all day, eat and watch movies. Just get down time. I'm happy to see family on Facebook and that's it. Nobody cares about you when you don't have kids anyway so it's not like anyone misses us not being there. In the future I want to travel for the holidays. Pick somewhere warm like an island or maybe go to Aspen.
I'm still a lot happier after New Year's but I have learned to make the most of the holiday season and sadly that involves not being around people that much. I enjoy seeing family and friends through the year so much more!
Love Thanksgiving. Eat and drink into a food coma. And give thanks that we live in this country and not some place in the 3rd world. Nothing better. We just enjoy a low key day with my side of the family. So we are not trying to "split" the day with different relatives... that is for the birds.
Christmas, used to like it when the kids were little and they had the whole day of playing with their fun toys, etc. Now they are older not so much. To me now, it is a low key religious holiday. That is IT. I get so tired of the hype and the guilt. It kind of makes me feel ill. I drink more around Christmas sad to say...
You know a lot of people would read this thread and think that we are all a bunch of stodgy old people who are grumpy all the time. Basically a bunch of scrooges.
But honestly I've found that even the happiest, most uplifting people can feel down around the holidays. There is something about this time of year that can make you feel like an outsider looking in.
If you met me you'd see I'm super friendly, most of the time a very happy upbeat kind of person. I take yoga, do gardening, love my job, my pets, my husband and my family. I have lots of friends, a few close friends I've had since high school. My life is fulfilling.
But damn if it's not a struggle this time of year. The cold, dark days don't help that's for sure but it's the hoopla around it all that is just simply exhausting.
I think the whole holiday season has lost its meaning to mass consumption...I think it's just a really fake time of the year. I much prefer the spring and summer holidays because they're fun without having to stress over money, what gifts to buy, buying decorations, preparing huge meals that cost a lot and take up a lot of time, etc.
Are the holidays fun or depressing? Well that depends on your situation doesn't it? If you're spending it with people you want to be with then chances are it will be a good time. If you feel forced go (to grin and bear it), or happen to be alone and have only the pets as company then ya can't wait till it's over. Loneliness + holidays = increased sadness. As I'm alone and already have problems with depression, I hate the holidays. It's a sad time for many folks. I think about the old people in the nursing homes, if they are lucky family stops by for a bit but there are some that get no visitors.
In past years near Christmas when I'd be out getting food for me and the animals, I'd look around at people and there were no smiling faces, they looked worried, sad, stressed. Stuff costs so much even junk, kids often expect a lot even when parents are struggling to get by and parents go deep in the hole to please their kids as a rule. People are just too materialistic and superficial and kids tend to be spoiled. I'd rather have a present made by hand. The ex once made me a winter coat, another time a sweater. That was far more meaningful to me than if she had gone and bought some overpriced designer crap. But it seems today so many are caught up with labels to such a ridiculous degree that they might not appreciate a hand made gift as much as some brand name junk from China.
I hate the holidays for a couple reasons. I don't like spending them alone and hate how early they start it all, so ya feel sick of it by the time it's finally over. I also hate the plastic smiles and fake caring ya see. The people that go help out the soup kitchen on the holidays, stop by to visit lonely folks in nursing or hospice facilities or give to the animal shelter, but do nothing from January 1 to the next Christmas tend to do what they do for themselves, not because they truly care about the cause. Theses places are glad for the extra money and sometimes volunteers helping out but they are forgotten about by the majority of people after the holidays are over. To me that's just fake caring as the need is year round not just at Christmas.
I was 28 the last time I celebrated Christmas. It was with John's family that was just as dysfunctional as mine. That was 30 years ago now. We often spent the holidays alone because we each worked different shifts. I have a friend that I worked with that was alone on the holidays so she started spending the holidays with us. Thanksgiving was the most fun Thanksgiving I've had in years. I drove to work and passed out a couple of meals to our friend and his wife and a coworker that didn't get to eat a traditional dinner. There was no stress, no family drama and just love and laughter. Who says you can't pick your family?
I'm not quite as depressed this year as others, but no decorations this year, it's just stupid, it doesn't make me any happier, my Dad doesn't care and my Brother and his wife have a house full of crap, so they can enjoy theirs. No kids here, so it just doesn't have the same thrill. It's a hard time of year,without my Mom, so it's pretty quiet and I like that.
I try to do something for some stranger, like helping them in the grocery store or something. That makes me feel better.
You know a lot of people would read this thread and think that we are all a bunch of
stodgy old people who are grumpy all the time.
Basically a bunch of scrooges.
I don't take your posts as you are being a holiday scrooge. I see it as you are someone who wants to enjoy this time doing what you want to do. Not what the Hallmark channel movies say you are supposed to do.
That's not being grumpy. That's being independent.
I'm glad I can vent in threads like this because in real life, if you mention you aren't a fan of this time of year, people can make you feel like the Grinch.
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