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While I like doing certain "manly" things -- like play and watch sports, shoot pool, and so forth -- there are others that simply don't interest me like they do my friends, including:
- Drinking beer (don't drink at all)
- Assembling/fixing stuff around the house
- Fixing cars
- Going to shooting ranges
- Hunting
Society seems to feel that if you're male and not doing this stuff, you simply aren't a "real man." But I think that's all hogwash.
Do you agree society puts pressure on men to be very masculine?
I flip my middle finger at what some of society expects or says about me when it comes to how I am supposed to act. Examples are my shyness (I find asking for dates to be a chore and a man is supposed to suck up it) and my preference for getting manicures and pedicures. I've been told many times that I need to turn in my man card for doing such a feminine thing. Too bad, I like to be clean and well groomed. I do that for myself.
I'll just continue to live my life and I could care less what others may expect out of me for stupid stereotypes. Life and time is short for me to be stressing on that kind of nonsense.
As far as what a man is expected - I don't like guns, violence, or hard liquor. I have nothing more than an occasional microbrew. I used to like working on old cars when I was younger but not anymore.
I like not having rough hands. I do not like carpentry type work.
All of the above is probably the reason why as a straight man I am alone as much as I am.
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Do you agree society puts pressure on men to be very masculine?
The answer to your question is no. That's because I pay it no mind. I suggest other males similar to myself to do the same.
OP- all of my male friends have always been into the arts, culture and wine, over sports, cars and beer. These are very well rounded individuals imho.
It is common that a male such as you describe may think that they are homosexuality. It is the exact opposite. They are comfortable enough with their masculinity to be able to explore, enjoy and express all sides of their personality regardless of gender stereotypes and societal rules.
Society does put pressure on men to be "masculine." ( See post immediately above mine! )
I am more along the lines of what a previous poster said -- being interested in the arts (writing, painting, music, etc), learning, history, reading, and so on.
So rather than repairing cars, fixing a toilet, or going to a shooting range, I'd much rather do more bookish things. Does that make me feminine or homosexual? Of course not. (My wife and I are happily married, by the way.) That's like saying that women who prefer sports and video games (especially the kind that involve guns and shooting, etc) to cooking have masculine tendencies.
I'm not much of a fixit guy but my wife is an Engineer that learned how to construct everything from her Father who was a builder. I sometimes feel "less manly" particularly around other guys that are fixit guys when they see my wife doing things they think I should be doing as the man.
But in most areas, I'm manly and my wife is feminine in our roles but there are areas where it seems we are reversed.
I just think for men that are different and women that are different from the standard stereotype, sometimes it's a struggle.
I'm not much of a fixit guy but my wife is an Engineer that learned how to construct everything from her Father who was a builder. I sometimes feel "less manly" particularly around other guys that are fixit guys when they see my wife doing things they think I should be doing as the man.
But in most areas, I'm manly and my wife is feminine in our roles but there are areas where it seems we are reversed.
I just think for men that are different and women that are different from the standard stereotype, sometimes it's a struggle.
It doesn't mark you as less manly. It marks you as someone who isn't interested in mechanical things. There are three areas of mental capacity: data, people, and things. If your brain isn't into things, that has absolutely nothing to do with your gender or sexual orientation. It's a cultural thing too. In some cultures like the American South, men tend to learn culturally that they're supposed to like fixing things and hunting, and so to conform to cultural standards a majority of men and boys try to get into that stuff even if it isn't a natural fit for their brain. But humans being so smart we can learn to do things that our brain isn't naturally good at. It's just a question of whether you want to learn things you don't enjoy just to fit in better socially & culturally.
Meh. I used to be able to adjust the timing on my 73 Pontiac back when I was 18. I gave up most of that stuff once cars became computerized and disposing of used motor oil became a PITA. I did, however, change out the windshield wiper assembly from a Volvo last year to save a couple hundred bucks in labor on a repair I felt confident doing without f-ing up the car, not to be "manly".
I was at a shooting range once. I had fun. But I don't own a gun. I don't hunt because I don't own a chest freezer and I'm not that big on eating venison more than a couple times a year. I tried lake & stream fishing - as a city kid, I never learned - but I do own a couple of rods and found I didn't enjoy it all that much for the time investment. I'd rather golf.
While I like doing certain "manly" things -- like play and watch sports, shoot pool, and so forth -- there are others that simply don't interest me like they do my friends, including:
- Drinking beer (don't drink at all)
- Assembling/fixing stuff around the house
- Fixing cars
- Going to shooting ranges
- Hunting
Society seems to feel that if you're male and not doing this stuff, you simply aren't a "real man." But I think that's all hogwash.
Do you agree society puts pressure on men to be very masculine?
No, I don't agree. I personally think a man ought to be handy around the house, but I don't see any general social pressure whatsoever on men toward anything on your list other than sports. Maybe in specific locations one or more of the others, but generally, no. Especially the "manly art" of fixing things. Fixing cars? Not Millennials.
Actually, I would not say that even pressure to enjoy sports is particurly a "male" thing the way it once was--women are fully sports enthusiasts these days as men are. So even that is a general American social thing, not specifically masculine.
I like not having rough hands. I do not like carpentry type work.
BTW, task-specific work gloves are a big marketing deal these days. They have specific gloves for auto mechanics, plumbing, carpentry, masonry, electrical work, et cetera. So you don't have to get rough hands anymore to do those tasks.
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