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To be happy you have to want to be happy. Some people are content being miserable, some people are paralyzed by their unhappiness and can't make a change, for some it's a chemical imbalance and medication is required. My sister-in-law has stage 4 pancreatic cancer yet she still finds happiness with her new kitten. It's hard to find happiness if you're totally stressed out. Lets go to Colorado, sit on a mountain top and smoke weed for a week mmcpa. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Find a way to laugh.
First thing's first....the last people you want to make miserable are your family.
They are your stronghold of love and support...do not alienate them.
Thanks so much for your kind words. As I said I am trying hard to make them happy.
My situation has some differences and some similarities. The difference is that my wife and 17 and 18 year old sons are delightful and I am trying not to make them miserable. My job situation is worse than yours; I've been asked to leave as of December 31.
The last few years have been utter tumult and I am not holding up as well as I should.
At the end of 2012 our previously independent firm merged into a larger firm in White Plains. My senior colleague, who I'd been with for almost 27 years at that point, did not get along with the leadership at the new firm. On November 15, 2013 he had a row with one of them which ended in fingers being pointed towards eyes, shouting and foul language. Days later, a few days before Thanksgiving, my stepfather of almost 40 years (my own father died in early 1973) went into Greenwich Hospital after a fall, and developing incontinence. A week or so later he was transferred to rehab and died on December 24, 2013. Christmas Eve is not the problem since I'm Jewish.
However, at the same time my senior colleague of 28 years and I, after that November 15 blowup, moved to another firm in New York City with a start date of January 1, 2014. My mother's gradual decline steepened drastically around then and she was put on hospice on February 16. All of this marred what should have been a great start at a nice new firm.
I was given notice in July for the end of the year, and now am searching for a job. The combination of the holidays, the overall cheer and my total gloom are making me miserable. It is all I can do not to depress my loving wife and 17 and 18 year old sons.
I am just too miserable even to go out for the runs that used to lift my spirit. Nothing makes me happy any more. Even a morning visit to a psychologist I know this morning (he agreed to come in on Sunday) didn't help. I'm at a loss.
Have you tried taking care of an animal? That is more therapeutic than listening to some shrink's psycho babble Get an animal from a shelter and give it a loving new home If money is a problem, get something small that won't eat much, a hamster or canary, a life is a life
Been there, done that, both with job loss and marriage. If a whimp like me can do it, so can YOU!
Today, I am married to a gentle, loving man but I didn't know he existed when, after putting my first DH through college decided he didn't want his family anymore. If I had known then, what I now know about what a good life is out there, I would have kicked #1 to the curb years before. I was trying so hard to keep my marriage vows and hold on to...well, I can see now, it was only the air, as there was better waiting for me. It took 15 years for me to heal enough to be able to trust and love again, which is sad as I see that there is a better life. The man I am married also went through his share of relationships problems and took years before he too could open up again.
For those of us who worked and started out with the premise that hard would equal job security, well, we didn't see the world changing. Here in the Bay Area so many foreigners are arriving and Americans are being discarded like yesterday's news that it is heartbreaking. The forces are stronger than an individual so all we can do to not allow it to break our spirit. A job is only a job so it is time reinvent and create the life we want.
I can't say it as well as some other posters but I hope some of what I said makes sense. Sending a huge group hug to my fellow Americans who will soon see the joy of a new day and learn to let go of what never was.
Have you tried taking care of an animal? That is more therapeutic than listening to some shrink's psycho babble Get an animal from a shelter and give it a loving new home If money is a problem, get something small that won't eat much, a hamster or canary, a life is a life
I've got an 18 year old red-headed son I sometimes call the Irish Setter, and a dark-brown haired son I sometimes call the gorilla. So I have my animals.
And yes the red hair comes from me even though it turned to brown at age 13.
When I am depressed, I remember the cheerful time of my life; my childhood, my old friends, my past relationships, and many other happy moments, and somehow a smile comes. Realize you're not alone.
When I am depressed, I remember the cheerful time of my life; my childhood, my old friends, my past relationships, and many other happy moments, and somehow a smile comes. Realize you're not alone.
I don't know if that would work with me. I guess I would become melancholic, which is the last thing I would need if I were feeling down already
I've got an 18 year old red-headed son I sometimes call the Irish Setter, and a dark-brown haired son I sometimes call the gorilla. So I have my animals.
And yes the red hair comes from me even though it turned to brown at age 13.
I'm not deeply depressed (although I am depressed). I'm having marriage difficulties. I am partner in my company yet not satisfied. I'm not happy.
Why is the mind so capable of looking at what's in front of it, and finding more negatives than positives, and making ones life feel unhappy because those negatives appear stronger than the positives? It sucks.
You choose to think either way. I for the most part see the positives to life. It is a choice that I make. You are also making a choice.
You choose to think either way. I for the most part see the positives to life. It is a choice that I make. You are also making a choice.
I wish it was that easy. But the mind of an over-thinker such as myself is a difficult thing to shut off, choice of thought. My mind continually attempts to think of every angle of everything - it sucks. I am working on training the mind to think differently - that will take time.
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Find a way to laugh.
Get an animal from a shelter and give it a loving new home 
