People who comment about others weight. (anxiety, men, girls, issues)

[bentstrider]

I'd post this in the exercise/weight loss sub-forum, but then I'd run in to too many of the macho types in there.

Is it done because it's a misguided attempt to supposedly help some one?

Or do these people just like putting down others in a nicer tone of voice?

I've had the comments hurled at me on a somewhat regular basis and see it as these people want everyone to look the same.
At the same time though, I often wonder if they think the people will actually lose the weight, get in shape, and congratulate their commentary with some sort of reward.

Me personally, I'm more interested in just dropping pounds and gaining a little muscle just to clobber them in one of those "I did it, now what?" moments.

On the other hand, I've lost weight before and when I was light, I honestly didn't feel any different about things than before or now.
Quite frankly it just became a chore that didn't produce very many positive things for me.
Yeah, clothes fit again and such, but it still didn't turn me into the social butterfly, or ladies man that I perceived every one else who egged me on wanted me to become.
You know, you did it , and then found that all the work wasn't really changing anything else so you just stopped.

At this time, the only thing that slightly even interests me about it again are the health benefits in relation to keeping/getting certain jobs.
The social aura that occurs around it (too many extroverted people wanting to make friends with everyone at the gym.) I couldn't care any less for.

[metalmancpa]

When people comment as such, it makes them feel better about themselves. Lame. And although I myself have never been overweight, which means I can't imagine being on the receiving end of such comments, at the end of the day you just have to not care what others think.

Losing weight is about health (if a doctor states you are obese and the weight is detrimental to your health), or by your choice.

I've been exercising regularly for 27 years (started at 27 when I got a NordicTrack after gaining 20 pounds literally overnight (metabolism changed). I fought it for years, then became misguided as to the why. Now, I do it regularly because I feel better afterwards - stress relief, whatever. Any weight lost is a byproduct of my efforts.

[gwilliger]

I'm guilty of this but I don't outright say "you could lose some weight".

I've recently got a new co-worker who is on the heavy side. It's none of my business what his weight it but it's the truth that skinnier and healthier people get more respect.

I always ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me, hit up the track, or the pool. I comment on the fast food that he brings in for every lunch and how I can eat it anymore.

I'm a snob, a fatty hater, and a self-righteous gym/track/pool bro I suppose. I don't know if I do it because it makes me feel better about myself or if I do truly care about the health of my co-workers. This is a psychology forum so I figured I would give you the true response of "one of those people".

[Davros]

I've never criticized someone for their weight and eating habits.

Of course in my case that would be foolish because they would say "take a good look in the mirror and take a look at those candy wrappers in your trashcan".

In other words .... I live in a glass house so I can't throw stones.

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by gwilliger

I'm guilty of this but I don't outright say "you could lose some weight".

I've recently got a new co-worker who is on the heavy side. It's none of my business what his weight it but it's the truth that skinnier and healthier people get more respect.

I always ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me, hit up the track, or the pool. I comment on the fast food that he brings in for every lunch and how I can eat it anymore.

I'm a snob, a fatty hater, and a self-righteous gym/track/pool bro I suppose. I don't know if I do it because it makes me feel better about myself or if I do truly care about the health of my co-workers. This is a psychology forum so I figured I would give you the true response of "one of those people".

Sounds like you actually care for yourself in the sense that it is about health.
Not hanging with the "cool kids", or "getting the chicks", or some other mindless thing.

And while you may get respect from others while being thin, it still could go both ways when it comes to how it ends up rubbing off on the once-former over-weight person.

If respect means people leave you alone and find another target to run after(ie,. you just became invisible to them) then I guess that's enough.
At the same time though, there's also that factor of attracting the wrong people to yourself once you've shed the pounds and gained the muscle.
Then it turns into a game of fighting off the d-bag dudes and pretty, yet air-headed women that don't look past the exterior.

As far as the effect the comments have had, I've at least been attempting to cut out certain foods from my diet.
I like to eat, but if cutting out a whole lot of junk and satisfying hunger with low-calorie/yet-filling and healthy foods could do the trick, I'm all there.(water/tea instead of soda/sugary drinks, eat fruit instead of candy, spinach and beans instead of meats and rice,.etc)
I mean, there's been a few times over the past several months where I made the mistake of buying a pastry.
After seeing what else I got for lunch, I promptly tossed the pastry.

As far as the gym's concerned, I mentioned in other threads I can only manage to go when it's packed.
That pretty much leaves me with doing pushups in the house and finding places to run where I won't see anybody.
I'm just one of those people that performs better at that when there's no one around.

Anxiety over possible competitors I suppose.

[Auraliea]

Usually when people first see me....the first thing they comment on is how skinny I am or how small my waist is.

It really irritates me. Then go on to say men don't like it when girls are that skinny or that I need to eat more. Most of the people who say these things about me are women who are somewhat overweight or girls that are curvier than I am. I've gotten to the point where I have gotten self conscious and quit exercising because any slight exercise will make me lose weight very easily.

If people feel the need to pick on anyone about anything they are either insecure or they are just plain rude. Or both. As for me....I have never intentionally tried to insult someone or said anything directly about their weight. But I have stepped on some toes accidently, but I can't remember what I said though.

[fleetiebelle]

I recently got over a stomach bug and because I was unable to really eat anything for about a week, I lost about 10 pounds. The day I came back to work I ran into a coworker and she started gushing about how I'd lost weight and looked great. I don't know how great I could have looked, because I was pale with sunken cheeks, etc. She meant well, but it was weird.

[bentstrider]

Some people just never seem to quit.
Like the two of you above me mentioned, you guys got commented on in regards to being too thin as well.
Seems like some weirdo, in-between muscle tone is the only thing that will keep people from running their mouths now.

Conflict is a never-ending issue with all of us.
Some of us shrug it off, the rest of us pack up and move around like nomads.

[dmlarue1]

I think it just shows how judgmental people are.
I have a stepdaughter who eats what ever she wants (seriously most of her diet is Tostinos pizza rolls, doritos, etc), hardly exercises and is very petite 5'1" and about 90 pounds. She has the "thin" body type that most women say they want. You would be surprised how many comments she gets about that she's anorexic, that she needs help, that she's too skinny, that men like curves. etc.etc

I have always been curvy and big boned size 12/14. I eat a very clean diet and exercise everyday. I get comments too about how I should lose weight, and that I am unhealthy. I have wonderful blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol.

SO either way people are going to judge.

I was always told not to talk in polite conversations about Politics or Religion, Weight really should be added there.

Honestly, if a person is overweight, they already know; they don't need someone pointing it out and making them feel even worse about themselves. that usually just leads to more overeating. When someone does that, I really feel like they are trying to feel superior to someone else.

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by dmlarue1

I think it just shows how judgmental people are.
I have a stepdaughter who eats what ever she wants (seriously most of her diet is Tostinos pizza rolls, doritos, etc), hardly exercises and is very petite 5'1" and about 90 pounds. She has the "thin" body type that most women say they want. You would be surprised how many comments she gets about that she's anorexic, that she needs help, that she's too skinny. etc.etc

I have always been curvy and big boned size 12/14. I eat a very clean diet and exercise everyday, but I gave up a long time ago on chasing that body type because it is just not possible for me...I know I've tried everything. I get comments too about how I should lose weight.

SO either way people are going to judge.

I was always told not to talk in polite conversations about Politics or Religion, Weight really should be added there.

Honestly, if a person is overweight, they already know; they don't need someone pointing it out and making them feel even worse about themselves. Unless you are a medical professional and need to address it.

When someone does that, I really feel like they are trying to feel superior to someone else.

Just more people trying to start fights it seems.
I've been having on and off gout issues that are really making me start to consider sticking to a permanent weight loss plan of keeping it off.
Figure I'll make it happen and hit whatever goal I need to make in order to get it to work.

And then there's the gyms in this town where the cliques like to hog the weight training areas.
Most of these people are in their late-teens/early-to-mid 20s and have never suffered any serious health issues that drove them into bettering themselves.
They're all in it for the club-aspect and get leery when some outsider drifts into their area.

At least with the large, chain gyms I used to get to, most of those types stayed away from them and it was all about get in and get cracking.
Crossing my fingers and pulling what I can until I'm good to jet from this place.