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I don't know if all counselors are generally like this or if it's just the ones I've seen on television but most of them seem to have basic advice you can give yourself. They don't seem to really have any answers. Their primary purpose seems to be a head and mouthpiece to communicate with that will guide you to the answers you already have within yourself.
There are a lot of interesting responses here. This answer coupled with getting lucky enough to find the right therapist is key. The answers are almost always inside of us. A good therapist is able to dig them out of you if you can't do it yourself.
If psychologists were so wise none of them would ever get divorced since they would have all of the tools to fix whatever is the problem in their marriage....We have one who lives next door to us who leaves for work at 5:30 AM and doesn't come home til 7....He is either making a ton of money or something is off....I can't imagine patients coming to his office at 6AM....Many times in the summer when it is light out later we see him sitting in his car in front of his house after work for HOURS listening to the radio....His wife doesn't work and it makes you wonder what he is hiding from or if he doesn't have a radio in his house!
Is there a reason his wife doesn't see him and just come out of the house and get him? It sounds like he's avoiding his marriage for some reason.
I don't know if all counselors are generally like this or if it's just the ones I've seen on television but most of them seem to have basic advice you can give yourself. They don't seem to really have any answers. Their primary purpose seems to be a head and mouthpiece to communicate with that will guide you to the answers you already have within yourself.
Some are airheads, and aren't trained to go very deep.
I think Psychologist are a necessity - and psychiatrists as well - but, like many things, one has to have an inner skill/gift for it, and that's probably why there are so FEW of them that truly excel in their field.
Yesterday with my new psychologist (my 2nd session with her), I took a step back. As expected, the cognitive behavioral technique came up. In my mind though, it felt too scripted - almost robotic, as if she really wasn't connecting with me and truly showing me her abilities. Instead, I felt as if the CBT was already pre-determined. I already naturally use CBT, and I though yesterday I was giving her enough information into how I think and wishing for her to come back at me thinking outside the box. I don't want a textbook psychologist - I want one who actually uses the learned knowledge of psychology and has the ability to adjust technique to the individual.
Yesterday with my new psychologist (my 2nd session with her), I took a step back. As expected, the cognitive behavioral technique came up. In my mind though, it felt too scripted - almost robotic, as if she really wasn't connecting with me and truly showing me her abilities. Instead, I felt as if the CBT was already pre-determined. I already naturally use CBT, and I though yesterday I was giving her enough information into how I think and wishing for her to come back at me thinking outside the box. I don't want a textbook psychologist - I want one who actually uses the learned knowledge of psychology and has the ability to adjust technique to the individual.
I came in explaining my marriage difficulties, but also the realization of my accountability.
She just started with the generic CBT approach (he method was the 3 box method. What I see, what I think, how I feel. For instance - see a boss smile, how do I feel, happy? See a boss fake a smile - do I feel anxious because my job might be at risk?
I think the problem with psychologists in general is they are not able to adapt their treatment to the individual. They work from their schooling outward, thus, it's almost inevitable that CBT will be a toll they try. I thought I was fairly clear in my understanding of this technique and have been trying to incorporate it into my thinking for a long time. And last night, I even came in stating I was in a better place because I had internally adjusted my thought patterns. Yet last night, I felt I was talking more to a textbook than a person.
A point that is important...a therapist can only take you to
where they are willing to go themselves...or have gone.
So when you get over your little mom issue that is sabotaging all your relationships
and decide you want to break the ceiling and go WAY deeper...
if they haven't gone there themselves...find one that has.
I came in explaining my marriage difficulties, but also the realization of my accountability.
She just started with the generic CBT approach (he method was the 3 box method. What I see, what I think, how I feel. For instance - see a boss smile, how do I feel, happy? See a boss fake a smile - do I feel anxious because my job might be at risk?
I think the problem with psychologists in general is they are not able to adapt their treatment to the individual. They work from their schooling outward, thus, it's almost inevitable that CBT will be a toll they try. I thought I was fairly clear in my understanding of this technique and have been trying to incorporate it into my thinking for a long time. And last night, I even came in stating I was in a better place because I had internally adjusted my thought patterns. Yet last night, I felt I was talking more to a textbook than a person.
She's probably not the right one for you. There are tons of psychologists out there. When I found my LMSW, I was looking for one with both cognitive behavioral and psychodynamic training. I found her right off the bat. I went to a psychologist about a year before, and I didn't like him at all. He just listened to me, didn't offer any constructive advice, and I felt like I was pouring money down the drain. So after several sessions, I made an excuse and bailed out on therapy with him. I also like that she told me that she didn't think that I was abnormal and that I was in a screwed up situation instead. She cusses, gets mad, jokes, talks about herself a littls bit, and is a human being who I can relate to. She likes bright colors, beautiful clothes, and her office was colorful and cheerful. It made me feel right at home. I liked her so much that I was actually disappointed when she told me she thought I was doing great and I should only come in as needed. You should try a few and see if you can find one you like better. There are many therapeutic schools of thought and different psychologists practice them differently. If you go on their website, they will usually discuss which ones they use and what groups of people they enjoy working with.
There are patients who become disappointed with a psychologist doesn't solve their personal issues with one visit, and/or won't do the thinking for the patient. Many patients want to hear a magic sentence that will cure all.
Counseling for me was very beneficial because I was unable to distinguish up from down. The counselor was instrumental in giving me the tools to sort out my thoughts and feeling and put them in perspective. I was able to learn what it was in my growing up years that had led me to make so many wrong choices, and how to get on the right path going forward.
Just because a person has a negative experience during counseling is not valid proof that all psychologists are lazy, stupid, and eager to rip off the patient.
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