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I would agree with you on most points but clean freaks seem OCD to me. I think clean freaks are obsessed with presentation, usually they want a show house and I don't think that is healthy. They tend to obsess over their house over and above having a mutually satisfying relationship. I don't think a house should require more attention and concern (and usually drama) than the relationship itself.
If the condition of your house is more important and/or more difficult to maintain than the condition of your relationship, your priorities are warped.
Last edited by Shankapotomus; 12-20-2014 at 07:56 AM..
I would agree with you on most points but clean freaks seem OCD to me. I think clean freaks are obsessed with presentation, usually they want a show house and I don't think that is healthy. They tend to obsess over their house over and above having a mutually satisfying relationship. I don't think a house should require more attention and concern (and usually drama) than the relationship itself.
If the condition of your house is more important and/or more difficult to maintain than the condition of your relationship, your priorities are warped.
That's probably true, but my BFF is a clean freak, and she seems to get on fine in the world. Most women develop the habit after they have children anyway. A man with those traits could be somewhat refreshing if it's not taken to the extremes.
Side note: OCD refers to a collection of obsessive compulsive disorders, which include obsessive thoughts about nearly anything, from religion to contamination. All people who suffer from OCD are not clean freaks, although popular opinion seems to believe so. I know that I'm not that much of a clean freak, and I have negative obsessive thoughts that I've been trying to get rid over for a little while. TMI, I guess, but this is the Psychology forum.
That's probably true, but my BFF is a clean freak, and she seems to get on fine in the world. A man with those traits could be somewhat refreshing if it's not taken to the extremes.
I should have added if you are both into ultra cleanliness, organizing and house decorating and showcasing, then you are both probably compatible.
But there are a lot of people who don't realize house showcasing (having a house that is constantly presentable like out of a magazine) is an activity preference or hobby, not a general behavior. They think all houses are supposed to look like the ones in magazines 24/7 and get angry when their's doesn't because they accept a completely distorted view of reality. I firmly believe these kind of people need to choose between a relationship and a house because they are incapable of having both.
I should have added if you are both into ultra cleanliness, organizing and house decorating and showcasing, then you are both probably compatible.
But there are a lot of people who don't realize house showcasing (having a house that is constantly presentable like out of a magazine) is an activity preference or hobby, not a general behavior. They think all houses are supposed to look like the ones in magazines 24/7 and get angry when their's doesn't because they accept a completely distorted view of reality. I firmly believe these kind of people need to choose between a relationship and a house because they are incapable of having both.
There are many people around here, men and women, who are into house showcasing. I think they equate this ultra-cleanliness with competency. I could probably get into it if someone showed me how. I personally like the idea of cleaning, organizing, and decorating just for the fun of it. I just feel like I would need to master the skills.
I feel as if people get too caught up into the whole femininity/masculinity trap.
I agree with this.
I think most people who are truly happy with themselves and their lives (regardless of their status, interests, etc.) don't care too much about that kind of stuff. Sure, it may come up in conversation, but it's usually in a lighthearted, humorous context with friends and drinks - not something meant to be taken seriously. Joe is happy just being Joe.
IME women dig it when you show a soft side. That doesn't mean you're "femme", it just means you're not afraid to be more balanced in your personality, instead of being closed off to that side of yourself, and limited in your modes of expression, confined to a stereotype. That's a healthy thing. And like I said, it works with women.
I suppose I like a mix of both. My long-term sweetheart is a good mix. Physically, he's strong, has good muscle tone because of the work he does, and seems manly to those who do not know him well. He occasionally likes to play or watch sports (a few times per year--not every weekend) and like to fix things. Emotionally, he is sensitive, kind and gentle to everyone. He's genuinely caring and kind toward animals, old people, and little kids. I cannot say the same for many of the other men in this immediate family. They seem like brutes compared to my honey. He comes from a machismo culture which is why he's a bit of a rarity among his brothers and other men in his family. His brothers and most of his bros-in-law ooze machismo---but not my sweetie. He's much more openly sensitive, caring, and gentle than most of the other men in the family/friend circle. I know he struggles with it a little bit sometimes--because so many people expect him to be more macho. My ex-husband was also a mix of both. So, as patterns go.....I guess I like a mix of both traits.
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