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Men don't find you hot in real life? I am sorry to hear that.
Also, if you want, I myself can try judging your looks.
Well I get tons of compliments about my pix online. I have been called hot, pretty, beautiful sexy, etc. But heck, probably just horny guys that find anything hot. I doubt the sincerity of the compliments. In real life, most of my compliments come from women, and/or family members, the latter who always wanna bring up the nice figure I have. I have had some guys show interest, but again, the types that just wanna get laid and will sleep with anything-thugs, bums, slobs, old creepers, etc.
But, since no guys I ever liked have liked me back, I doubt every single compliment I have ever received. So, in terms of looks, I am happy for nothing, least face-wise.
So, in terms of men, not a field I am passing in, sans dreaming of them now and again
Well I get tons of compliments about my pix online. I have been called hot, pretty, beautiful sexy, etc. But heck, probably just horny guys that find anything hot. I doubt the sincerity of the compliments. In real life, most of my compliments come from women, and/or family members, the latter who always wanna bring up the nice figure I have. I have had some guys show interest, but again, the types that just wanna get laid and will sleep with anything-thugs, bums, slobs, old creepers, etc.
But, since no guys I ever liked have liked me back, I doubt every single compliment I have ever received. So, in terms of looks, I am happy for nothing, least face-wise.
So, in terms of men, not a field I am passing in, sans dreaming of them now and again
How many guys did you ever like throughout your lifetime, though?
How many guys did you ever like throughout your lifetime, though?
Somewhere from 5-7, with guys I saw a good bit. May not be many. but when ever last one is uninterested...That's enough for me.But this was years ago, so I may have forgotten some.
1. Guy I liked. Wasn't interested, preferred and dated my cousin, and would tease me for liking him.
2. Was interested, but he made clear he found me ugly, and another girl looked hotter
3. Then there was one whom I thought liked me, seemed flirty. But ended up dating another girl.
4, Then another, who I got along well with. But he wasn't interested in that way.
6. Then another, who just never liked me in general, or had a nice thing to say. Got over him early on, but was interested at 1st
Etc Then I got teased alot by guys. That moreso than asked out.
But, that's where fantasies and dreams come in. They don't convey reality, and can be more fun. That's almost where I stay when I have down time-fantasies not dreams lol.
Last edited by HappyRain; 12-31-2014 at 01:34 PM..
I've actually engaged in mental exercises of creating a persona in my mind (symbolic of course) of my "male self" and my "female self." It helps me sort my own thoughts and motivations sometimes, it is perhaps a means of self analysis. When I consider what sorts of traits, symbols, imagery, ideas, fit more with my idea of masculine or feminine, it also leads me to consider things I might admire or resent about the male and female role models in my life. I ask myself, "where did that idea come from?"
I have imagined myself in either role, in a variety of contexts, at times.
But I do not actually want to be a man. I like myself just fine as the woman that I am. I just like to bend my brain in different directions.
EDIT: Perhaps it's also worth mentioning...I usually feel more feminine than the men in my life and more masculine than the women I know. If I have to wear a dress and put on a feminine persona (as I recently did for my brother's wedding) I feel as though I'm wearing a costume.
But, long story short, one must appreciate that I act, I write, I have a very powerful fantasy life. Ie, sometimes I'm completely that other person but other times, it's a glamor spell and I worry about my illusion, my camouflage projection slipping and the real me being revealed.
As things might go, in the Charmed universe, I'm Aja (Ah-JAh) Romanadveratnalundar. My brother, Ajax (Ah-JOchs), and I own "Hooves, Harlots, and Horizons", an art gallery dealing in things from paintings to carousel horses........and we are Pegarons, winged unicorns, animals, in human form. My brother and I are so close in mannerisms that those who know use speculate to whether we are actually brother and sister...or are we lovers.......or perhaps eve masculine and feminine aspects of the same personalty. Etc.
When you have that kind of fantasy life, it's not surprising of the dreams you might have......as I did on the 10th of January. I was Aja, hanging out with Prue and Phoebe, only this time I was a witch and I had a phoenix power (in my dreams, dying means nothing) but I was better at magically drawing up dragons as defensive familiars. I was also more attuned to using silver, so I was better at that than Phoebe.
Aja tends to be my most frequent character to play but she differs somewhat between universes. In the Charmed universe, she can easily be a boy, not only because of the power of a Pegaron but also, Pegarons are immortal spirits that take corpul form at will. If Aja wishes to time travel, she just moves down the line and powers the human body of the Pegaron in that time.
Aja when used in my acting, however, is a subcharacter that I use to make the jump between be and the part assigned. Aja is an immortal imp who is only concerned with having fun and she is capable of transforming herself into anyone for that purpose.
But then again......in one of my dances, I played, here we shall call him Jerdahl (since the actual name I hope to use some day for publishing), a mercenary space opera Captain who was so blinded by mission that he failed to see the events that led to the death of his wife and the estrangement of his daughter. In the dance, I shifted from the anguish that Jerhadl had, trying to regain that lost in time, to the ultimate caring and understanding of his wife, to the daughter looking on distantly and finally realizing that she must take care of her broken father.
In another dance workshop, we were learning about the different personalities when dealing with the audience. So I was shifting from Aja (it's all about me and the audience isn't even there) to Richter-Douglas, a WWI actor who must impress an unknown in the audience in order to meet his spy contact to Thanl, a psychopath who is only concerned with what he can take from the audience without giving. These are personalities I have created, either for writing or acting, to switch to. For the purpose of the work shop (lost in dance, interact with the audience, the audience is there to make me great) they were the best things I had available to accomplish the task as put forth.
So I was switching back and forth from girl to boy.
Anyhow.................
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 02-09-2015 at 02:02 AM..
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That's almost where I stay when I have down time-fantasies not dreams lol.
