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every day I get up, I dread the day ahead most days. I dread going to work, the commute, socializing with people, phonecalls, etc. I am constantly worried about my mother and her poor health. I generally always wake up in a lousy mood. ive also had this upcoming surgery hanging over my head for the last 18 months. I have anxiety about bad things that might happen.
although I am a pessimistic person, I try to do everything right for my health. eat right, exercise, not drink to excess, blah blah blah. I realize that my life is really not that bad and that it could be worse, but how can I train myself to be more grateful, think more positive, and not take everything for granted? I have made vast improvements and accomplishments, but it seems like comparatively minor things will set me off and put me in a pissed off mood for the rest of the day. I don't audibly complain about it, but I feel like I will end up pissing and moaning about every little thing eventually(and those people irritate the crap outta me). ive heard that meditation can do a lot of good. im not a social person, so don't suggest socialization because that drains me(introvert here). Ive been contemplating seeing a psychologist, but I feel like I shouldn't bother them with my problems when there are people out there that have real problems. I would rather try to deal with this myself with a few pointers. thanks
This is just something small, but sometimes when I go through periods like this, I practice gratitude and being mindful of my blessings.
Every morning before getting out of bed (but you could do it during your shower, brushing your teeth, etc.) I would say out loud five things I was grateful for. The only rules to this are that you say it loud, start every statement with "I'm grateful for..." and the statement should be done in the positive, so no statements like, "I'm grateful it's Saturday and I don't have to go in to my stupid job." Instead, that could be, "I'm grateful it's Saturday so I can relax and have some time to myself."
And then at bedtime, state five good things that happened during the day. Even if it's just, "Today there was a new episode of my favorite show and I enjoyed it," or "Today I made this really good cup of tea." (As a pretty extreme introvert myself, sometimes it can feel like the whole world is really pushing the idea that a happy life depends on how many friends you have and how many things you do in a day, but for quiet folk like you and me, sometimes just reading a good book or seeing a sunset can qualify as a great moment in the day.)
My husband and I went through a relatively stable period in our lives where everything was going well, financially, physically, emotionally, etc. Daily irritants like jobs and commutes were just that and family issues were dealt with but not dwelled upon. Then all hell broke loose last year. He became permanently disabled and our financial status became more strained. It's hard to wake up every day with a positive attitude, but when I look backwards, I see that we weren't grateful enough for what we did have when things were going well.
I find that (even though I'm not religious) that the Serenity Prayer helps me sort out what's within my control and what's not. If there's something I can change to make my life better, I work hard to do that but if there is something that's out of my control, I learn to accept that it's part of my destiny and learn to deal with it best I can. Being negative about his physical situation just makes us both miserable so we just try to focus on what's good and how to enjoy life the best we can.
It sounds like you're on the right path, you just need to keep working on that part you control - your thinking, your attitude and your general outlook on life.
My husband and I went through a relatively stable period in our lives where everything was going well, financially, physically, emotionally, etc. Daily irritants like jobs and commutes were just that and family issues were dealt with but not dwelled upon. Then all hell broke loose last year. He became permanently disabled and our financial status became more strained. It's hard to wake up every day with a positive attitude, but when I look backwards, I see that we weren't grateful enough for what we did have when things were going well.
I find that (even though I'm not religious) that the Serenity Prayer helps me sort out what's within my control and what's not. If there's something I can change to make my life better, I work hard to do that but if there is something that's out of my control, I learn to accept that it's part of my destiny and learn to deal with it best I can. Being negative about his physical situation just makes us both miserable so we just try to focus on what's good and how to enjoy life the best we can.
It sounds like you're on the right path, you just need to keep working on that part you control - your thinking, your attitude and your general outlook on life.
Excellent. Resilience through acceptance of the things you can control and the things you cannot!
Grattitude is important.
Little things to be appreciative I like to remind myself such as clean running water, I tell myself of how privileged I am to have clean running water through my faucet. Some people in other parts of the world have to walk for miles to fetch a bucket of unsanitary water. I'm very fortunate to turn the knob and within seconds I have access to clean running water. How lucky am I?
One thing you can do is to associate with positive people. Even if you aren't close friends with them, being around positive, upbeat people helps one's mind, I think.
If the surgery is hanging over your head, why not go ahead and have it done, to get it out of the way? Is that possible?
With your mom's health, you have to accept that some things are out of your control. What ever happens you are strong enough to come through the experience.
Put a positive saying on your mirror at home, and look at it daily when you are getting ready for the coming day.
With negative expectations, try to to remember that with most things you have have a 50% chance of a positive outcome. So, work and hope for the positive expectations. When something positive happens, make sure you acknowledge it fully. Don't try to minimize it. Embrace it.
All good suggestions above. You did ask about therapy and I think almost anyone could benefit from it since we all have the "human condition". I found having someone professional to talk with and seek life advise from made a huge difference in my path to self improvement.
Also don't diminish your problems. We all have issues we are dealing with and you may see things differently after talking it over with a therapist. A good one has probably see and heard it all and can help you access your difficulties and formulate a plan to find a more positive life outlook.
I wish you and all of us here luck in our journeys.
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