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Old 01-26-2015, 08:32 AM
 
615 posts, read 726,043 times
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After countless hours trying to better myself, only to be met with defeat, rejection, injury (in the case of my athletic pursuits), I'm sick of trying in life. I'm just not carved out for success. My attempts to be successful have only torn down my confidence. I think the most psychologically healthy thing for me to do would be to learn how to be content with mediocrity.

Anyone else have these thoughts?
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Old 01-26-2015, 09:13 AM
 
Location: The Triad
34,090 posts, read 82,975,811 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidRudisha View Post
...I'm sick of trying in life. I'm just not carved out for success.
How do you define success?

Quote:
Anyone else have these thoughts?
It has always been fairly common among the coddled.
We do seem to have more of them today.
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Old 01-26-2015, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Honolulu
1,892 posts, read 2,533,643 times
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Well to each their own and I would say a big part of life is being happy with what you have rather than wishing you had something you don't have. That said, it seems like you are fairly ambitious in life and learning how to be content with mediocrity might not work in the long run. As someone who's gone through countless disappointments in my life, I just have to say never give up. Try to find out what you're doing wrong and work on correcting the problem, don't keep doing the same thing over and over again. It's difficult of course, but you have to convince yourself giving up isn't an option. We all only live once, we need to make the most of it. Just think of life as a game, where the object is to be as happy as possible. Better to keep trying and fail than to just give up. If you have specific questions feel free to ask.
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Old 01-26-2015, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Back and Beyond
2,993 posts, read 4,305,335 times
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Change your definition of success.

I travel and move a lot so compared to some of my friends I am not as successful... However I have camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, spent 10 days hiking in the Bob Marshall Wilderness, Moved to Alaska and have done several remote hikes here, seen the northern lights at 40 degrees below zero, lived off the grid in the middle of the high desert, been to 48 of 50 states, just to name a few. All the while my friends back home were becoming "more successful" then me. It's all relative to how you define "success". All my needs are met and I stay alive everyday and myself and my family are healthy, so to me I am successful.
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Old 01-26-2015, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,375,553 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidRudisha View Post
After countless hours trying to better myself, only to be met with defeat, rejection, injury (in the case of my athletic pursuits), I'm sick of trying in life. I'm just not carved out for success. My attempts to be successful have only torn down my confidence. I think the most psychologically healthy thing for me to do would be to learn how to be content with mediocrity.

Anyone else have these thoughts?
I don't understand how you can try to better yourself without somewhat achieving something.

Hard work is hard and takes time.

Getting all put out bc it didn't happen in your time frame is a bit unrealistic and perhaps juvenile.
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Old 01-26-2015, 06:24 PM
 
9,000 posts, read 10,178,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidRudisha View Post
After countless hours trying to better myself, only to be met with defeat, rejection, injury (in the case of my athletic pursuits), I'm sick of trying in life. I'm just not carved out for success. My attempts to be successful have only torn down my confidence. I think the most psychologically healthy thing for me to do would be to learn how to be content with mediocrity.

Anyone else have these thoughts?

Of course.....for maybe like 5 minutes.
Life is hard....sometimes it's like ya' take 1 step ahead & 3 steps back.
If I had a dime for every setback I've had, or for every obstacle I've had to overcome I'd be rich.....

The most successful people on this planet have faced down adversities & failures.....
And conquered.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ydeyl0vXdP0
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Old 01-26-2015, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Imperial Beach
356 posts, read 365,486 times
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EE_MBc7OT0 Some times we fall down....hard, but then we have to get back up it ain't easy it takes time but it can be done.
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Old 01-26-2015, 07:54 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,202,346 times
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I think everyone has times when they feel discouraged, like they are putting all of this effort in and have nothing to show for it. I've been there several times, myself. And I hear you on the athletic injuries. Seems like I can't go more than four months or so without knocking out my back for a month. It sucks.

Thing is--and believe me, I have problems with this myself--it's best to focus on what you've done right, because no one ever does everything wrong. Maybe you didn't meet a goal, but if you took steps toward it, that's progress. Celebrate the small steps, don't beat yourself up over the slips.

Here's my suggestion: Keep some kind of a blog. It might be in a defined community just for people with the same goals, or it could be out in the wilds of Wordpress or Blogger. Write about your goals, start reading other personal journeys, and leave supportive positive comments or ask questions about what other people write in their blogs.

It won't be long before you have a small online support network of people who are on the same journey, who have overcome the same setbacks, face the same challenges, etc. There will be a few people you just click with, who just get it. Plus, when it's your site, you get to be the mod, and you can ban trolls or other negative people.

Women do this with weight loss all the time, with great success. I'm sure men do it with body-building, sports, or weight loss, themselves. Other people do it with things like divorce, parenting, converting to a different religion, coming out as gay, trying to get a book published, dealing with mental health issues, etc. No matter what you're going through, someone out there is also going through it, or has already been through it. And when you get where you want to go, you can then be there for someone else.
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Old 01-26-2015, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,191,696 times
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Sure. It was never major, but I did for a little while.

For me, one thing is my appearance. When I was in school, I liked some guys, but they didn't like me back, so I assumed I was ugly, and just quit trying with my looks. For a while I wore no make-up, didn't really try with my hair, and didn't care what clothes I wore or even if they were ironed. Then, I tried going to show-offy rout. Never went anywhere without make-up, always wore clothes they were tight, and showed cleavage. That got some attention, but rare, and it came from the bad guys. No shock lol

Then there was going to see a doctor to have surgery to fix my eyes. Strictly vanity, and at one point, I considered taking one eye out and getting a glass eye. 1 eye looks lazy,, and it doesn't help with my looks that I already hate.

But, that's just my physical appearance. But, ya either look good or you don't, and there's only so much you can do before you have to find a good look, stick with it, and work what you have as best you can.

Now with careers and school, etc. That's a bit easier than social affairs, because you can plan a bit more and are in control of that, somewhat. What is something you are good at, or think you may like to do. Do some searching, exploring, figure out the steps to take. That's what I am doing. I may be ugly, but least I can have independence, a career, and a life together, even if the social part of it sucks. Least I won't be a total lump. And really, improving my life, and getting things in order makes me excited and gives me something to look forward to. Even though it's timely. Especially with the lady I work with being a bit on the slow side, so things take even longer. But I have a plan, and am starting somewhere, and even that makes me happy, rather than sitting around sucking up air.

But sure, everyone has times when they doubt and think "Why am I even here, what am I doing, why do I bother" but it's best not to stay there, because it makes you miserable, and staying miserable and not trying is what leads many to suicide lol I was close to that too. I didn't act on it, but I was very tempted and considered it, but I got help before it went past the planning stage.
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Old 01-28-2015, 09:03 AM
 
Location: NYC
96 posts, read 117,414 times
Reputation: 147
Doing nothing and not achieving or pursuing anything is a great achievement in itself because most people do not have the stamina, discipline or wherewithal of mind to that without going insane.
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