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Recently, I had a conversation with several females who ranged from 22-30, the topic was the number of socially awkward males of their age range. All of them date men who are at least 5 years older, but for the younger ladies, they actually date men who are 10+ years older, simply because it was too painful to date within their age. It had nothing to do with their appearances, or their financial state. What all the guys have a problem with, is when they open their mouth. The general consensus is that ever since video games became as common as TV's, that more kids grew up playing video games in their free time. It's not a problem for men who got together with their friends and competed, it is a problem for guys who came home from school, and holed up in a room, fixated to their game.
So that night we came to the conclusion that Playstation and XBox were partially responsible for the increase of social awkwardness among men. I think that because kids focus so much on playing, that parents allowed the overuse and eventual addiction to them. It was safe, since the kid was in his room, and "protected". I doubt they realized how much they would submerge themselves in that fantasy, Playstation games brought into their lives. Only someone who has seen what happens when you take away gaming from a kid, can understand the potential damage long term use could bring. IMO that gaming is like a drug, and when taken away, it puts the kid in a very dark place.
With gaming, and the internet, where communication is easily edited, it's no wonder, that kids are unable to feel comfortable in person. With the majority of conversation done in that manner, they must feel some anxiety when unable to edit what they say in person. It's not just a problem with the opposite sex, these guys are awkward among other men...It may not be the only cause, but I bet it's a leading cause of this ever growing problem.
OP, I disagree. Some people turn to gaming because of their social awkwardness, as was the case with me. When I was a young teen, I looked around, saw the other girls dating, was painfully made to realize there was something "wrong" with me, started hanging out with my own little clique, and started playing video games obsessively, using the characters and fan fiction I wrote as a substitution for interaction with actual people. Later, after I finished college, I discovered that I had a social-learning disability known as Autism Spectrum Disorder and was overlooked by the school system. At least now I know that my unbearable social awkwardness has a name. These days I avoid almost all unstructured social interaction and save my personal life for the safety of a text document or forum post.
Being female, though, I'm a little biased against the boys. I think most young men just haven't had the opportunity to grow up. It's not that they didn't get a chance to hang out with their friends; it's that their friends were just as immature as they were, maybe more so. If a man is to grow, he needs challenges and adversities. That's probably why they say that girls mature faster than boys. We are brow beaten by our mothers, bullied by our peers, and left to find solace and strength in our own hearts. It's conform or be killed in our world for much of our lives. Complex social rules determine everything we do, and we face almost constant ridicule for stepping out of line. I've heard that's not really true for guys.
When I was in my late teens (17-19) me and my friends dated older guys (25-30 plus) so this is nothing new. It was because of the maturity factor. Older guys knew how to treat me like a mature woman, and that was exciting and refreshing. Younger guys were just goofballs, in my opinion back then. They played mindgames and got too emotional (angry, sulky, jealous) at the slightest thing.
What is concerning is that too many guys now take a decade or more to grow out of that stage, maybe because of what OP is describing.
A 27-30 year old male and 17-19 year old female should have very little in common.
RPG players seem to be the strangest people of all... socially awkward, definitely. They sit at their computers alone a lot.
I wouldn't say all consule video games cause social awkwardness, many of them are 2+ player games that you play with others sitting next to you using the other controllers hooked up the machine.
It seems people who play computer games like Minecraft or WoW are just really odd ducks.
Wrong... and I am sure financial stability has nothing to do with them dating older men...
People are socially awkward because they are glued to their phones.
Actually for them, the younger men make just as much money, and retain more, since the 30 year olds all had mortgages, ex wives, and child support....They do it because the guys their age aren't mature, and many, if not most are unable to carry a conversation without saying something that creeps them out. Good looking guys, with great careers, plenty of expendable income, who lock up from fear when interacting with females. Like any skill, it can be improved on with practice.
Well kids develop the ability to interact with others from a younger age then when they start packing a smart phone. It comes from isolation from the outside world. It doesn't matter if it's sitting and listening to music, gaming, even reading, it's from the isolation, and lack of experience with people. Gaming is more than likely the activity of choice among younger kids, and the basis of my discussion the other day.
Yes, guys in their 30s did not play video games growing up. This is totally the root cause of socially awkward males, an entirely new phenomenon we've never seen.
Girls mature more quickly than boys and women have always preferred older men. Older men have more money, are more mature, and spend less time on hobbies and such. It has nothing to do with a new generation of socially awkward boys. And seeing as how almost half of gamers are female and the average gamer is in their thirties this whole notion is stupid.
Young women can be just as socially awkward as guys unless they're around men they find attractive (based on my college experience).
Women don't get called out for it because they rarely have to approach men. A woman can be socially inept, but if she's at least "OK" looking or better, men will approach her; shy, confident, arrogant, weird, cool and nerdy men.
Young women can be just as socially awkward as guys unless they're around men they find attractive (based on my college experience).
Women don't get called out for it because they rarely have to approach men. A woman can be socially inept, but if she's at least "OK" looking or better, men will approach her; shy, confident, arrogant, weird, cool and nerdy men.
I agree, that women who are SAP, still get approached. I think it has more to do with men feeling comfortable approaching her, because she is awkward. She doesn't pose a threat, and will be less likely to reject/hurt the guy.
...in which case you would see women preferring socially awkward men if they had to do the approaching...nobody likes rejection, but young women seem more sensitive to it than even socially awkward young men.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014
The fact that he has friends, breaks him away from the type I was talking about. I meant the type who is so into the game, that he devotes all his free time with it.
Yeah but that's not the majority, dude. Gamers/nerds/geeks are a small minority of society. Of course here in Silicon Valley it is probably a higher percentage, but in a place like London or New York they are a minority.
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and I am sure financial stability has nothing to do with them dating older men...
