Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly
I know most adults lose a lot of their imagination as they grow older, but how and why? Because of society? Corporate America? When I'm around little kids, they're like adults but much more open, sweet, and fun to talk to. They like to pretend they have super powers and can freeze me. But even when they're not playing pretend the things they say are funny and honest. They're not afraid to call me out on my BS and say "duh" when I say something obvious.
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Two separate issues here: imagination, and why we like children.
IMAGINATION: Children have lots of what you term "imagination," since they don't understand the limits of reality and don't have real world knowledge taking up brain capacity. A child may be convinced that there is a monster living under his bed, which I guess indicates that he is "more imaginative" than his parents, who knows from decades of nights that it is safe to go to sleep at night?
It is true that adult thinking tends to fall into patterns that help us make sense of a very complicated world--for instances, people tend to use an object only in the way it is traditionally used (called "functional fixedness"). These patterns may cause us to fail to see "imaginative" solutions--but they evolved as an intellectual "shortcut" that leads us to much faster problem-solving, and problem-solving in highly stressful situations that may otherwise cause us to freeze.
But it is also true that
the most intellectually gifted people are the ones who will come up with the imaginative solution to a problem--not the child who would have to think of 10 million situations that could not work before he comes up with the one that
would work (for reasons the child does not understand).
THE ANTICS OF CHILDREN: In cooperative species like humans, we are genetically programmed to feel protective and tolerant of the antics of the young (whether they are
our young, or the young of others in our group). That keeps us (and wolves, and lions) from killing the group's youngsters when their antics get annoying, and makes us more successful in evolutionary terms.
The youngsters themselves are programmed to be extremely energetic, playful and curious, because these traits hone the skills that produce the most "successful" adults (hunting, fighting, cooperative behavior). Without the benevolent attitudes of the adults, energetic and unrestrained play can easily annoy adults to the point where they violently lash out and hurt or kill the youngsters.
But in cooperative species, the
adults cannot act like the youngsters, because strict social rules are necessary for the adults to successfully hunt, as well as to protect the group from other groups of that want exclusive rights over the best territory. Without these social rules that determine the hierarchy of power (i.e., which adults and their offspring take the first/best meat from the kill), the group adults would be constantly fighting with each other, and causing injuries that would hinder the group's hunting and defense capabilities.
You conclude that kids are "much more open, sweet and fun to talk to," but what you are seeing is that they haven't yet developed the social skills that they will need as adults--and that they see themselves as equal to adults (rather than as people to be respected and deferred to). You like that they "call you out on your BS," but
they will similarly "call you out" if you do anything they don't like--like refuse to give them money for something they want, or try to stop them from doing something unsafe that they want to do.
Remember,
such children will say "Suzie is ugly!" and "Jimmie is a retard" just as openly as they say "I like you!" for giving them candy. Note that you are generalizing from the actions of the children you know--probably relatively well-behaved children, that you are related to, and who don't associate you with discipline or daily drudgery.
I doubt you'd say that think that the children of a crack-addicted single mother were "open, sweet and fun to talk to" if you were a police officer arresting said mother in front of her kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly
I get bored of the conversations I have but don't know how to turn it around. They become so straight laced. About the weather, a straight story of whatever happened.. I have an easier time talking to international students. They tell me maybe Americans are too polite or whatever, but they also seem very closed off.
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You find conversations with "international students" interesting because they can talk about experiences and ideas you find novel, and may come from cultures that do not have the reserved nature of people like New Englanders (I personally find people
from America's interior far more friendly, and interesting, than my NH neighbors). The mere fact that they are students here (probably grad students) means they are people who are interested in America and enjoy talking to Americans.
Obviously conversations with those who lead identical lives will be boring if you don't know them well enough to talk on interesting subjects, which will not happen unless you get past the stage of mere acquaintances. Once you are friends you can discuss interesting topics like religion and politics, or topics of mutual interest like psychology or economics or foreign policy, etc.
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