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Old 03-14-2015, 10:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyFL View Post
Has anyone else noticed this? Sometimes (infrequently) when I happen to be talking to someone they tend to bring up having Asperger syndrome. They may say this is the reason for their impaired social interaction - including hostility. Is hostility a symptom of AS?
I know there are many with this disorder who do not share this problem. I wonder if it being used as an excuse for displaying this behavior. Yes, it's difficult to overcome the social difficulties from this disorder, but if they are constantly telling themselves it's alright because they have AS and not try to improve it, they may see their behavior as acceptable. Others are often unwilling to point out the behavior because they know they have the disorder and fear offending them.
I even see this in people who display no symptoms. Since AS tends to be overdiagnosed, more people have antisocial behavior because they think it's excusable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyFL View Post
Is hostility a symptom of AS?
Well, if somebody with Asperger's has too much on their mind already then they might become hostile, or at least suffer panic attack. They usually don't fare well with fast paced multi tasking, (AND LOUD) environments, and their behaviour might suffer if people put them on the spot or try on purpose to make them angry. But that would be true with anybody else, wouldn't it?

I am going to comment on a few other things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyFL View Post
but if they are constantly telling themselves it's alright because blah blah etc. etc. and not try to improve it, they may see their behavior as acceptable.
I don't know if people are using Asperger's as an excuse, but I had observed many people not taking responsibility for their actions & mistakes, and trying to find excuse for their mistakes, blaming it on a illness, other people, or a bad childhood / life, etc. There is much political correctness today.


Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyFL View Post
Others are often unwilling to point out the behavior because they know they have the disorder and fear offending them.
I HATE it when people lie to spare feelings. I prefer blunt and brutal honesty.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:32 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
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BTW, anyone care to comment on the apparent autistic/aspie preference for "routine", and why dealing with 'change' and especially 'unpredicatability' seem to be such important issues?

For example a friend who specializes in working with autistic school kids has mentioned that to avoid problems, she finds it helpful to patiently repeat each day's schedule at the beginning of every single day, regardless whether it changes or not.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:33 PM
 
Location: I don't know
241 posts, read 220,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
True antisocial behavior--using people emotionally for destructive purposes--is bad, but not many Aspies are like that. Most of our "antisocial" tendencies rise from a misunderstanding of situations.
ANTISOCIAL
adjective 1. unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people: He's not antisocial, just shy.


2. antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing; threatening: an antisocial act.


3. opposed or detrimental to social order or the principles on which society is constituted: antisocial behavior.


4. Psychiatry. of or relating to a pattern of behavior in which social norms and the rights of others are persistently violated.
Source: Dictionary.com
But not ALL antisocial behavior is in the form you mentioned though... in fact, very likely all people with Asperger's syndrome are antisocial in behavior and thought, after a certain age. The kind of antisocial behavior you were talking about would be typical of someone with sociopathic tendencies.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:38 PM
 
4,366 posts, read 4,550,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
BTW, anyone care to comment on the apparent autistic/aspie preference for "routine", and why dealing with 'change' and especially 'unpredicatability' seem to be such important issues?

For example a friend who works with autistic school kids has mentioned that to avoid problems, she finds it helpful to patiently repeat each day's schedule at the beginning of every single day, regardless whether it changes or not.
For me, I just like structure. Not knowing what I'm doing kind of annoys me, and that's related to social anxiety. I stick to the rules so that people can't call me out and accuse me of doing something wrong. When I decide to be creative, though, I get really creative, and, although it can be awesome in its place, it has gotten me into lots of trouble in the past. For example, when I was in middle school, an innocent game with some left over firecrackers left my friend's parents having to make some expensive repairs to the bathroom because I just got curious and convinced some peers to experiment...Experience has taught me there is a time and place for experimentation.

Last edited by krmb; 03-14-2015 at 11:21 PM..
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:41 PM
 
Location: Arundel, FL
5,983 posts, read 4,257,029 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
For example, an innocent game with some left over fire crackers left my friend's parents having to make some expensive repairs to the bathroom because I just got curious...
I guess lack of common sense must be another symptom.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:41 PM
 
Location: I don't know
241 posts, read 220,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ObsidianPumice View Post
Perhaps "introversion", which means a person derives energy from being alone, has wrongfully been labeled as abnormal by society.
Or society has labeled abnormality as being wrong.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyFL View Post
I guess lack of common sense must be another symptom.
Well, sometimes common sense isn't common if you don't socialize much. I thought my friends knew what they were doing, so I just suggested crazier and crazier things to do with the firecrackers and watched them do it. I had no concept that I could possibly be causing damage, because they were going along with it like nothing was wrong. I incorrectly assumed they had a proper level of judgment to correctly handle the situation.

We ended up blowing up the toilet and messing up a few other things...

Of course, I hardly touched the firecrackers, just convinced my friends to do everything, so they were left to deal with the repercussions...

In general, though, "common sense" is something I have struggled with, from when to change topics in a conversation to how to correctly assess people's judgment.

Last edited by krmb; 03-14-2015 at 11:07 PM..
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:58 PM
 
50,113 posts, read 35,754,801 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
BTW, anyone care to comment on the apparent autistic/aspie preference for "routine", and why dealing with 'change' and especially 'unpredicatability' seem to be such important issues?

For example a friend who specializes in working with autistic school kids has mentioned that to avoid problems, she finds it helpful to patiently repeat each day's schedule at the beginning of every single day, regardless whether it changes or not.
Routine helps them feel safe, in a world a lot of which they don't understand and can feel overwhelmed in. I'm not on the spectrum, but I am ADD with a touch (maybe a little more than that) of OCD, and I too hate change....at work they know now not to just "spring" things on me, I need time to prepare for changes...learned by my having mini-tantrums at work when things would happen in my day that I didn't expect. This can be anything from they're sending me to another building to help out for part of the day and waited until I got there to tell me, to we got new office chairs, and they were changed overnight and no one told me about it in advance. It sounds weird, but I have to prepare mentally for things that are going to be different than what they were "supposed" to be. Luckily I can laugh about my issues, so others do too, and my co-workers actually find me quite charming as well as occasionally annoying, so they are patient with me and still love me.
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Old 03-14-2015, 11:15 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
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^ ^ So sudden changes and 'unpredictability' basically make you feel unsafe (and apparently very unsafe at that, if it results in 'mini-tantrums')? And BTW, are there any sorts of 'unpredictability' that don't arouse those kinda feelings?
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Old 03-14-2015, 11:29 PM
 
50,113 posts, read 35,754,801 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
^ ^ So sudden changes and 'unpredictability' basically make you feel unsafe (and apparently very unsafe at that, if it results in 'mini-tantrums')? And BTW, are there any sorts of 'unpredictability' that don't arouse those kinda feelings?
It just triggers sort of a reflex that sends me into "fight or flight" immediately. I get upset, I don't like the change, I want to know why I wasn't told about the change, why the change is happening, I want my old chair back, I liked my old chair and I don't care if it was ripped, this new chair is awful and I hate it and I'm going to the dumpster to get my old chair back...that's the typical mini-tantrum. 10 minutes later I am fine with the change. Often I end up liking the change better in the end, but my first reaction to change and the unexpected is always resistance. Think Sheldon Cooper..."but Thursday is pizza night!"

I have done a lot of work on myself to deal better, and I do catch it faster now...that I think is all we can do....it isn't going to go away, I just try to recognize the "lizard brain" when it's acting out and consciously soothe myself/talk myself down as soon as I do.

Even my car is 17 years old and has 305,000 miles, and I dread the day it dies because I don't want a different car, this one is familiar, and I find that comforting.

Hmmm, good question, I have to think about that!

Last edited by ocnjgirl; 03-15-2015 at 12:05 AM..
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