Drill instructors, bullies, and cult leaders...what is their secret?
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You keep mentioning your "agenda for the day". Does that mean that you are developing the lesson plan because the teacher is not leaving work or does it mean you're ignoring what the teacher left and free lancing?
My "agenda for the day" is the stuff besides what the teacher left. How am I going to implement the lesson plan that day? What gimmicks am I going to use to pique their interest? I like to have classes that are pin-drop quiet or at least reasonably under control, but it's a tough balancing act with most of these kids. I use creative approaches, let them get away with a little, and lay down the law when I think they need it, but it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like everyone who works in the school gets more respect than I do. Maybe it's just a feeling. I've seen other subs mistreated, but I know I don't have to have that. I know there's a formula, but it still doesn't work for me every time. I'm looking for some approach that can employ everything I know so that I can be effective most of the time.
OP. your choice of drill instructors, bullies and cult leaders as your exemplary authority figures says more about your own attitude towards authority and your own fear of appearing weak than anything. If you're teaching city kids and 1. you don't have that kind of background yourself and 2. you're too uptight to engage in the playfulness and manipulation that is second nature to these kids...you're going to be clowned out. Your warning at the end of the post "don't use humor" is a red flag.
Examine yourself first. How did you pick a job where you end up in loco parentis?
I like kids. I really do. I just feel like I need more of the habits that seem to come as second nature to seasoned parents and teachers. (Yes, I think seasoned parents and teachers fall into my same category with drill sergeants, bullies, salesmen, and cult leaders.) They all know how to get inside and control things from there. Sure, some do it with emotional or material incentives and others do it with very unusual outside means, but they all do it. I, on the other hand, am sort of an outsider. I don't see their lives through a seasoned veteran's lens. I do not engage in manipulation as organically as the others, so I have to have a script to become a person that I'm not, hopefully a better person in appearance at least, so that the kids will trust me and think I'm a strong trustworthy authority figure.
...or maybe I've been too interested in the makeover genre, where people can supposedly change their lives by changing their image. I've been obsessed with this idea for years. I really don't think I'm altogether on the wrong track. I mean, I know more now as a teacher than I did when I first started college. I know more about academics, but I also know more about life. I feel like I would have continued to have very little confidence and be too afraid of what people thought of me to even try anything new had I not gone to college; therefore, I also think that learning things academically is the key to knowing anything, even those things that apparently "come naturally."
IMO, you are taking a substitute teaching job too seriously.... Subs are supposed to hand out a worksheet, turn on a semi educational movie, relax, etc. If you want the respect and grandeur of being a respected good teacher, you are going to have to apply as a full time teacher, even if that means moving somewhere new. That's the only way.
Kids aren't going to respect subs, ever. It's like a free day when the sub comes in, a gift to the kids from the public school gods, an easy breezy day to break up the routine of mundane day to day school stuff. All the best subs in my day, were usually older guys that could tell a good story, put on a movie or worksheet and let us take it easy and didn't GAF. No kid will ever respect a sub the same way he will a full time teacher. It's nothing YOU are doing wrong, just the nature of the beast. It should be expected.
The more you try to be respected as a sub the more backlash you will get. This will never change.
Two options.
-Start to not GAF. Treat it like you're just getting a paycheck till something else comes your way.
-Apply for a full time teaching job so you have more than one day to gain respect from the students and build mini relationships with them.
Just my $.02
I agree with most of what you said, and maybe I really need to look into ways to relocate. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I sometimes can't bring myself to do the footwork necessary to get things done. It is so hard to land a full-time job that I've just thought about going back to school for something. I can't decide whether I want to try math (I'm bad at it, but I could probably make a living if I ever made it through the courses and understood the material.), foreign languages (I should really trying learning these on my own.), or cosmetology (I need some real world experience, but if you saw how I keep my own appearance, you would wonder why I would ever make such a choice.) I wish I had an accountability partner for life, really.
Anyway, though, getting back to my original question. I'm fascinated with how people manipulate others. This happens often in most settings, and the most successful people are those who know how to relate to other people and use their knowledge to get what they want. Sure, they disguise it well, but that's what it amounts to. The parent uses it to effectively control the child; the bully uses it to control the victim. Every authority figure uses it to some extent. I want to learn it; that's all.
My "agenda for the day" is the stuff besides what the teacher left. How am I going to implement the lesson plan that day? What gimmicks am I going to use to pique their interest? I like to have classes that are pin-drop quiet or at least reasonably under control, but it's a tough balancing act with most of these kids. I use creative approaches, let them get away with a little, and lay down the law when I think they need it, but it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like everyone who works in the school gets more respect than I do. Maybe it's just a feeling. I've seen other subs mistreated, but I know I don't have to have that. I know there's a formula, but it still doesn't work for me every time. I'm looking for some approach that can employ everything I know so that I can be effective most of the time.
Here's how you implement the teacher's plans-you do them. The teacher shouldn't be expecting you to "teach" the class, especially if you're out of field.
You're likely not going to get pin drop quiet, you're not there long enough to establish yourself.
For the population you're dealing with every single day is a new day and even experienced teachers will start at ground zero sometimes with them. For many of them school is number 93 in their top 10 list of priorities.
Don't let them get away with anything, nothing. If you let one kid talk then others will think "Me, too". Then when you try to get them quiet you get the inevitable, "I wasn't the only one, you let _________ talk".
As a sub, and you're at the bottom of the food chain, you have to have a zero tolerance approach. The administration won't back you unless there's blood on the floor. The kids know you'll be in some other room tomorrow so they have no skin in making you happy.
I was told last year by my former Principal that my room was "too quiet", that the kids should be talking while they're working. Ok, right.
Here's how you implement the teacher's plans-you do them. The teacher shouldn't be expecting you to "teach" the class, especially if you're out of field.
You're likely not going to get pin drop quiet, you're not there long enough to establish yourself.
For the population you're dealing with every single day is a new day and even experienced teachers will start at ground zero sometimes with them. For many of them school is number 93 in their top 10 list of priorities.
Don't let them get away with anything, nothing. If you let one kid talk then others will think "Me, too". Then when you try to get them quiet you get the inevitable, "I wasn't the only one, you let _________ talk".
As a sub, and you're at the bottom of the food chain, you have to have a zero tolerance approach. The administration won't back you unless there's blood on the floor. The kids know you'll be in some other room tomorrow so they have no skin in making you happy.
I was told last year by my former Principal that my room was "too quiet", that the kids should be talking while they're working. Ok, right.
I've frequently been in situations where I feel like I need to "teach" the class, especially out-of-field. The kids mostly have trouble in lower-level math classes, so I have to make sure I know how to do the problems in advance so that I can answer most of their questions. I do have to instruct the students on how to do the problems, come up with demonstration problems, and even help them establish some sense of real-world connections, if they will listen. Plus, the bulk of work I get is from unexpected sick leave and short-notice training. I have to make up about twenty percent of the lessons I teach, because the teacher did not have time to leave plans or the plans simply aren't working with a particular group of students.
The level of noise I like to hear in the room is that which indicates they are fully engaged with the material. Since I try to keep them on task 100 percent of the time I'm with them, that should be no noise at all, except for maybe a little whispering and students answering questions. I don't like to bore them, so I try to change things up a little and keep things interesting. It's just that when a kid gets out of line I don't always know how to effectively deal with it. The older the kids are, generally, the easier it is to keep them occupied. Older high school students, for instance, know how to entertain themselves, so I don't have to attempt to remain the center of attention for them. The younger high school students and middle school students, though, seem to need someone to focus on. If I didn't try to take up their attention, they would find less productive ways to distract themselves. Many of the students do not like to read; that's one problem. A worksheet might actually prove to be too difficult when they aren't assisted with it in some way.
"Too quiet" is a complement in my book. I've contemplated teaching the kids some basic sign language for extra incentives just to see how quiet I can get the room... I'm a bit fanatical about this, aren't I? Quiet rooms are a huge complement for a substitute teacher. It's not at all about not allowing the kids to talk; it's about making sure they are on task. This age group hasn't learned how to regulate, so it's ridiculously easy to tell when they are off task, and excessive noise is a clue.
Okay, my advice is that if you are really interested in this type of thing.
Read up on leadership. Especially leadership guides from the military. You can find manuals published by the US, British, and Canadian armed forces that provide examples on how to get respect and lead a group of strangers. Maybe some of that might come in handy because it has been developed over centuries and has been tested by war.
You could also look up public speaking tips and sales advice videos on YouTube. They can give you tips on how to you can use body language, tone of voice, and other non-verbal cues to influence situations.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I sometimes can't bring myself to do the footwork necessary to get things done.
Best said below, from one of your other threads:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You have asked the same questions many times. You need to break the problem down to its simplest form. Address your health first. I would contact someone at these places in Mobile and get help for yourself. Start local.
Anyway, though, getting back to my original question..... the most successful people are those who know how to relate to other people and use their knowledge to get what they want.
This is part of how you get sidetracked.
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I'm a bit fanatical about this, aren't I? Quiet rooms are a huge complement for a substitute teacher. It's not at all about not allowing the kids to talk; it's about making sure they are on task. This age group hasn't learned how to regulate, so it's ridiculously easy to tell when they are off task, and excessive noise is a clue.
