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As I have gotten a bit older I have learned a few things. One is that you always want to be nice to everyone you meet. You never know how being nice may help you in the future. I remember this one woman that had a look that only her mother could love. She was even older than me. Still I was nice to her. A co-worker asked me why am I so nice to this woman, even to the point of being maybe a little flirty. No I was not interested in her in any way. Still it made her feel good. On top of that it turns out that she had daughters. Guess who she introduced them to? Yup me. Now I was not interested or anything. I told my co-worker, the one that was wondering why I was so nice to her, that if he had been nice to her he could have met her daughters which were the kind of girls he was looking for, or the kind of girls that had the look he was interested in. This woman had no interest in introducing her kids to someone that had not treated her with respect. It's too bad too because the guy co-worker was closer in age to the daughters and single.
You never know how being nice will work out. I am betting that it will work out better being nice than it will by being unpleasant.
Why wouldn't you be nice to her? Aren't you nice to most people? Are people really only nice selectively, to people they think they can get something out of? You're not nice to people just to be nice, without thinking about how they might be useful in the future?
I must meet a different type of man because none of the men I have ever encountered romantically or otherwise have tried this with me.
Perhaps it is how some people present themselves to others or are perceived by others that they appear to be an easy target to get treated that way.
Ahhhhhh...good ole fashioned "Blame the Victim". I think your first sentence is accurate - you have been fortunate NOT to encounter such types.
A friend of mine said she was talking with a man, and he told her that this is common - that men have different tactics for different women. For pretty women (not to brag, but I was cute as a doggone BUTTON back at age 25-28 when this incident happened), men tend to try to "break down" the woman. For more unattractive women, they will "build up" the woman. It's all a game/strategy. I'm not saying ALL men do it, but this is what my friend reported HER male friend told her.
This is incredibly stupid. This wouldn't work with the vast majority of women. They'd just walk away. It would only work with a few.
Ahhhhhh...good ole fashioned "Blame the Victim". I think your first sentence is accurate - you have been fortunate NOT to encounter such types.
I am not blaming anyone for crying out loud.
I merely stated a possiblity for such treatment.
There is a difference between stating a possibility and stating actual blame, you should learn how to tell them apart before assuming you completely understand what someone else has stated.
In your rush to be a hero, you must have missed the parts where someone else also noticed the title change, and the part where she states she changed the body of the OP, you know, the emphasized part you're yammering on about.
You come into a thread nearly 12 hours after it was posted and start poppin' off this garbage while contributing absolutely nothing to the thread itself, and you're calling me difficult?
Personally attack me again for no reason whatsoever, and you'll be getting reported.
I will just say this one more time. I did not change the title of this thread once I created it. As a matter of fact, I do not know how to change the title of a created thread. I just created another thread in a different topic, and it did not have any options to change thread titles after creation.
I did add "some" in the first sentence of the paragraph in the body of this thread when I realized that my experience was being misread even though the title clearly said some. I wanted to make it as clear as possible I did not mean all men.
I do not feel all men are like this. Many people I have met never employed tactics like this. But, it has happened enough where I started to take notice.
This thread is not about ALL MEN. It is about the men I have encountered that feel the need to tear a woman down for no reason and I am only asking questions to find out more about it.
For the people who are offended by this thread, I am not talking about you. We've never met.
Last edited by jabber_wocky; 04-20-2015 at 10:59 PM..
OP, you must have an exceptionally unusual looks if such things happen to you. I never heard any of the men I know saying such tings about any women, even a horrible stranger on the street. You have either change your outsides or change that circle of men you are dealing with.
I do not feel any one should modify their appearance for the sake of other people. I just try to recognize these types of people sooner and avoid them asap.
I have been the victim of this. I worked for the military for nearly eight years, and this was common. I briefly dated a man I met there who did this a LOT. I like to laugh and GENTLY deride my close friends, so at first I didn't even notice, I would quip back. However, I soon noticed that nearly EVERYTHING he said was negative, and that he basically sat around and picked me apart - my shoes, hair, clothing, behavior, the way I did my work.
A friend of mine said she was talking with a man, and he told her that this is common - that men have different tactics for different women. For pretty women (not to brag, but I was cute as a doggone BUTTON back at age 25-28 when this incident happened), men tend to try to "break down" the woman. For more unattractive women, they will "build up" the woman. It's all a game/strategy. I'm not saying ALL men do it, but this is what my friend reported HER male friend told her.
Thank you. I knew that this was not in my head, and I knew other people have experienced this.
I must meet a different type of man because none of the men I have ever encountered romantically or otherwise have tried this with me.
Perhaps it is how some people present themselves to others or are perceived by others that they appear to be an easy target to get treated that way.
I believe it is how I am perceived. I am unsure why some men are assuming such negative things about me to warrant attacks. I would like to think I am fairly kind and friendly. And at work I am professional.
OP, you must have an exceptionally unusual looks if such things happen to you. I never heard any of the men I know saying such tings about any women, even a horrible stranger on the street. You have either change your outsides or change that circle of men you are dealing with.
One of the guys was a work colleague, who dissed her completely out of the blue. Another two were strangers in a bar. How can she change anything about that? The 3rd incident was with her ex, so he's her ex for a reason. She kicked him out of her circle of friends.
Did you even read the original post?
My take on it is that she must be really good-looking, and some people are insecure around that, while the dudes in the bar felt they had to tear her down as a PUA tactic. I don't think the OP is doing anything wrong.
One of the guys was a work colleague, who dissed her completely out of the blue. Another two were strangers in a bar. How can she change anything about that? The 3rd incident was with her ex, so he's her ex for a reason. She kicked him out of her circle of friends.
Did you even read the original post?
My take on it is that she must be really good-looking, and some people are insecure around that, while the dudes in the bar felt they had to tear her down as a PUA tactic. I don't think the OP is doing anything wrong.
One of those people were actually someone who was a friend that expressed interest in me, but I was not interested in him.
The others were some young guys in a family restaurant when my boyfriend was not looking and stepped out of earshot.
This has also happened at the gym, with other random strangers but I didn not bring that up.
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I think your first sentence is accurate - you have been fortunate NOT to encounter such types.
