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I know that a lot of things can affect one's character, but as I'm watching my 5 year old, I see that he's more thoughtful and kind than most 5 year olds around him, and even more adults I know. Although I try to teach him things, he's shown me that he's just a naturally very thoughtful and kind person.
Whereas when I was 5 years old, a classmate of mine lied and manipulated me to bring some accessories to school. She was my "best friend" then. When class was over, she ended up opening my locker and stole all my items. I remember crying and running as fast as I could to chase her down, but she got into her father's car. I watched her drove off while I stood there crying and never felt so betrayed before. It was one of the first few instances I experienced of how cruel people can be. I saw her again when she was much older and she did not change much.
Since I'm currently working with someone who I think is a psychopath, this got me thinking, are people just born with kindness or with evil traits?
I believe that people are essentially animals and that means we are capable of both good and bad acts just like animals. Animals can be very affectionate and they can also be extremely violent. The same with people.
It is how we are socialized that plays a major role in how good or bad we turn out. If someone is raised in an environment where violence is a tolerated or even encouraged behavior, you are going to get someone who is going to be less inhibited about indulging in their violent impulses. Someone makes fun of you? Punch to the face. Someone doesn't give you what you want? Punch to the face. Rejects your sexual advances? Punch to the face.
If someone is brought up in a healthy environment and is taught not to let their impulses take over and kindness is rewarded; then you will more likely see someone who will attempt to use reason to get what they want and failing that, they will take it with grace.
And of course some people are just inherently violent or kind. I've known people from really messed up childhoods who grew into wonderful people in spite of growing up in an environment that you'd picture a serial killer coming from. And some people like Ted Bundy became literal serial killers despite having a normal upbringing.
I believe that people are essentially animals and that means we are capable of both good and bad acts just like animals. Animals can be very affectionate and they can also be extremely violent. The same with people.
It is how we are socialized that plays a major role in how good or bad we turn out. If someone is raised in an environment where violence is a tolerated or even encouraged behavior, you are going to get someone who is going to be less inhibited about indulging in their violent impulses. Someone makes fun of you? Punch to the face. Someone doesn't give you what you want? Punch to the face. Rejects your sexual advances? Punch to the face.
If someone is brought up in a healthy environment and is taught not to let their impulses take over and kindness is rewarded; then you will more likely see someone who will attempt to use reason to get what they want and failing that, they will take it with grace.
And of course some people are just inherently violent or kind. I've known people from really messed up childhoods who grew into wonderful people in spite of growing up in an environment that you'd picture a serial killer coming from. And some people like Ted Bundy became literal serial killers despite having a normal upbringing.
I would disagree somewhat with this, however I don't like the label "evil" and I think it's going to bring the thread to a different place then you intended, OP...but I can see within my own family...my niece has twins, and one is very cerebral and thoughtful, one is very aggressive and more the football type..it is apparent even at age 5.
Their brother however is a year older, he is the "dove" of the family, kind and nurturing and so sweet....exact same parents, same financials, same home, everything the same except their genes.
Of the 3 of them, coming upon a frog for instance, I think Twin A, the cerebral one, would want to study it, and maybe do experiments, Twin B, tough guy, would probably treat it roughly, like a toy...and Brother, the sweetie, would try to make it better afterward and would feel badly for it.
People always talk about "nature verses nurture" as though it has to be one or the other, but I think it's both. I have three kids that are all different and were from birth. I had no say in their likes, dislikes, reactions to things etc, but as parents we can teach them to exchange bad behaviors for good ones. Not to hit when angry, but to be calm and breathe out frustrations, not to steal toys from others, but to share, how to handle disputes, how to be patient etc.
My 5 year old sounds like yours. She is a very naturally thoughtful and kind person. She is always coloring pictures and making cards for her friends on her own, looking out for her little brothers, and just generally thinks of others first. My oldest son, though very sweet and loving towards his siblings and enjoys his friends, doesn't think to do things like that. He doesn't go out of his way to do something special for someone else, but I can teach him to be more like his sister in that regard.
I have a niece and nephew who are now teenagers, but I've known them since they were born and they both are the children of the same parents. The girl has always been super sweet since she was a toddler. I have never seen her angry or anything but happy. It really is amazing.
The boy on the other hand has been a jerk for as long as I can remember. He's also a bright guy, and I'm sure he'll grow up to be someone's a-hole boss one day.
So yes, I do believe kindness and nastiness are traits people are born with. People may be able to mask their true personalities when needed, but a leopard never loses its spots.
Since I'm currently working with someone who I think is a psychopath, this got me thinking, are people just born with kindness or with evil traits?
Not at all. There is NOTHING evil in a little baby or child. Those behaviors are ABNORMAL and learned by grown adults and the bad influences around them exhibiting those behaviors.
People are born naturally evil/sinful. When push comes to shove, they will act in self interest and let others suffer whatever the consequences. All you have to do is raise children to see this. Children have to be taught to be polite, share, follow the rules, etc. That's why we have to have laws, police, judges, jails.
When born, we have in our DNA good and bad. We have built in abilities to be kind or mean. What transpires from birth begins to shape us, mostly by observing the world around you and learning. Those closest to you (your parents in general) will be the gate keepers and most influential in your life to start (assuming "normal" here). But if the parents are surrounded by bad, or themselves have bad traits, those will stick with the child.
But, humans also have a chemical makeup. Any chemical imbalance can cause different outcomes in what may appear to be surroundings conducive to being "good".
I honestly don't think there is a true yes or no answer to this.
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